Lotza "stuff"

 Well, I hope it will be awesome---so far--so good! ---The sun is out--the snow has stopped  ( maybe we got 6 inches of snow overnight--)--I shovelled----  and shovelled--and then , Son#1 came with his Kabota and ploughed-- Praise be to God!----  hopefully to-morrow will be 80 degrees and it will all melt----(AS IF EH?)-

The picture above is Himself--BEFORE WE  EVEN HAD A FAMILY--taken in Ottawa---I was nursing at the Civic Hospital--in the Premature and Intensive Care Nursery--and Himself was Interning-

We were Footloose and Fancy Free"--- (Mom's expression)-no children--NO DOGS ---We even look young--- 

And in the recent picture above, me----with the --worried look- too many dogs maybe?------LOLOLOL---

BUT----- THE OLDER ONE IS__THE WISER ONE BECOMES----I HOPE!!!------So, I must tell you all, that to-day I have NOT shed any tears --over losing a dog--- In fact, Lopez, the Chihuahua,  and I have spent quite some time together talking about "life."---- I told him that  I always thought growing old would take a lot longer----He seemed to understand---

So it is a good day to-day--- I decided to make it that way--I found a picture of "Biggy"--a cat I found on the dumpster, out by the highway--many moons ago--

Well, Biggy , followed me back home that morning, many years ago-- He had only one ear, and all his whiskers were  tattered and some missing--  with a couple of paws sore looking--  The temperature was minus 30C that day--

I allowed him to sleep in our garage that first night---fed him dog food--- and had someone pick him up the next morning---  Long story short, I eventually adopted Biggy--and he lived with us for about 12-to15 yrs-- We never knew where he came from, but he was a very large lovable guy----and as yu can see, very beautiful--My Dad , after Mom passed, just  loved Biggy so much--  When Dad would come out to see us, Biggy would go thumping down the stairs, and I'd always hear, "Well Biggy, How are you to--day?"---and the 2 of them would carry on --Biggy at Dad's feet and Dad talking to him--One never knows what one finds on a dumpster-

So life goes on--I do not cry over Biggy--not anymore-- and one day, big Beau will be a part of the past also--

                                                            

 STAY THE COURSE---BE AWESOME--BE A LION?--Lord love a Duck!-----Be Stronger----LAUGH LIKE LUCY-----no matter what----  shed a tear also, because your heart  is full of love---but------you can also----

-Be thankful for the hard times!

but----I'm here----kinda frazzled---feel sorta like "the day after the day before"---- but---- the main thing is--I AM HERE---I began to realize that , even on my very worst days, I have survived--

I did get to the hair dresser yesterday, who said, "Lynda, you do not need another dog!--You are busy with Himself-- and you do have Lopez"--What a good person eh?--How did she know that I have called all over "hells half acres" (Mom's expression) looking for a dog-- any dog--some  dog that could replace big Beau--- and take my sadness away-

-And she said, "Lynda, what am I going to do with you?--Give it time---"---so, I shall try---- but---  if someone--anyone--- knocked on our door and handed me a dog--any size--- yes, I would take it-----So---this morning, while Himself is at his day program, I cleaned a cupboard in the kitchen--a cupboard that I never had time to do that--

                                            You see, I am trying to keep my heart beautiful-- really I am!!!

We have snow falling--It is winter  again--colder than cold-and I do miss yu all. Too bad that we all don't live closer isn't it?- We could  help pull out- those that are in "The Depths of Despair"---We could sing and dance  and ----EAT----Do you all eat when you are sad? ---You could bring your dogs and I would play the piano for them all---We could laugh and laugh and laugh-----We could even pretend that we are younger than springtime---

So, How am I doing--?----  Well, I must admit, I am better than yesterday, and yesterday, I was better than the day before--I know Beau is not suffering--now----but-----  if by chance you people are walking somewhere and you find a dog , I still would take him/her in a heartbeat--Maybe that's not a good idea and maybe to-morrow  I will change my mind-- Lord love a duck eh?-

 

Always try to be strong---Maybe I should practice  more---  because,  it's hard to ALWAYS  BE STRONG---no matter what life throws at  you---

 

 

Slowly--slowly ---returning to normal-

OK--  The crying is stopping--The sadness  will continue-- Life must go on---so----  to-day I shall go on a banana run--- this morning-- Because it is minus 15C -(-COLD!) -I shall leave Himself at home-and LOPEZ---  and--it's HAIR DAY -----

Lory be--  One must be strong eh?---  Mom used to tell me, "No point crying over spilled milk"--but-He sure left a big hole in our home here---

I shall return---and one more thing--Thank you for all your messages yesterday--Slowly--slowly---- the tears are  diminishing---not stopping-----but-------better------Later then--- 

 
 

Be a Wolf, Be a Lion, Be Stronger , even if you cry--

  

Thank you--all of you--for writing--for holding me up--I  cry ----a lot--When do the tears stop?--You see, Beau was  my friend--- and I feel he went way too soon---  I feel that I let him down--was not there to help him at the end , like I always wanted to be--

So, I turned on the computer this morning---  and there you all were--  Beau must've told you eh, that I needed you--that the tears are still flowing--He also told me to tell you thank you--- I have never needed you all,  as much as I do now--- but----- 

Some thoughts popped into my brain this AM--like---It shouldn't have happened the way it did--me driving to town--Beau on the back seat feeling like "Death" was close---and no vet available to help us both-- Eventually the vet was able to come-- but no emergency services available in his absence--and me , not knowing where to go  for help--driving thru red lights--driving over the speed limit--   our daughter in OHIO calling Son#4 to please come and be with me--

It will never happen like that again--I have driven almost all over the country to get a vet to "put a dog down"--to help the poor animal not suffer--mostly in the middle of the night--- so, why not now?---  --I always wanted a local vet--thought that would be so much easier--- but--a vet in your own community can be  not available also--- -like what happened with big Beau--

So---  there are Emergency services for vets--  available 24 hrs a day-- out of town---  but-- in "drive-able" areas--- Of course one pays for that service---- but-- there is something to be said for "Peace of Mind"---- I will never go thru what happened to my friend BEAU--ever again----  Lordy be---  and ---  I do  have an old cat also--  Sushi-the cat who came in from the cold--

 The tears still flow-- Beau was my friend--He will forgive me , won't he?--I tried---I really tried--

Positive---  Never stop trying-- Stay the course---  because we must! ---Everyday there is something to learn--If you feel something doesn't feel right--change it while you can-- 

 

Big Beau is not with us anymore-

 Big Beau has  been "put Down"-- I do hate that expression-- I knew, there was something wrong--  and maybe I should have realized it could've been his heart- I never thought of that-- He was diagnosed with A FIB as a puppy--put on heart medication for 2 years and  the vet felt he did not need the meds after a couple of years--so, we stopped the heart medication., and were careful to not exercise him too much--He lived to be 9 years--

No-one was home here -- and I went to put him outside and he collapsed , onto the sunroom floor--coughing a lot also--I managed to get him into the back seat of our car--and I drove way too fast--to town, to the vet---got to the vets office after driving right thru a red light-- and guess what?--no vet---Our one and only vet is also the mayor and was at city hall---- The little girl on the desk told me that he would  not be in till 2pm--This was around 11am--so, what does one do with a dying dog ?---I should have taken big Beau to City Hall-( kidding of course)--

  So, I put Beau back in the car---and we waited for the vet who did appear around 2pm--- told me I could drive him to Toronto---- or--the alternative--- "put him down"--

The whole episode was  terrible-----Son #4 appeared  -- (Our daughter in Ohio had called him)-- He stayed with Beau until the end--

One never gets over this--- It was so hard---I wish I could've known how to treat--- I am happy I didn't  crash--driving down the highway at 111 MPH---  and running a red light, hoping a policeman might stop me and help me get  help for the dog--- getting to the vets office, and ---no help----

            Lopez  must wonder where big Beau is-- They were buddies-------played together----

VERY difficult to-day----I wonder if he had've still been on his heart meds , would he still be alive?--Was it really his heart?--Could it have been caused by something else?------  And to-day, the 1st day of Spring, it is snowing---

A Smile can make someone's day-

   I hope that you know that I appreciate everyone of you, thinking of little ol' me--

-TO-DAY, NO MATTER WHAT--I SHALL BE HAPPY--AS HAPPY AS A CLAM AT HIGH TIDE!(Mom's expression for sure!)

 

Himself is at his Day Program-- He was looking forward to that.-and Sadie, that cleaning Lady,  (who you all know is really me!) has been here to give some part of the house here, a "once over"-- -- This morning she got to clean  a few rooms on the main level of this house- Before you can say "Johnny Robinson"-it seems it is time to go back to pick Himself up--

 

The above Lady, in the picture, sorta resembles my Mom--the Lady with all the expressions--I don't know if her Mother said the expressions that she pops into my head as I type--probably---because where on earth did she learn  all of them?---

It says, "Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind"---a good idea I guess--I don't believe that I feared my Mother--but---- I do believe she was a woman who knew her own mind----not a 'warm fuzzy" person---but knowledgeable-- a teacher--and one who my Dad admired a great deal.

Now how did I ever get onto all that?--I suppose  it must've come from the picture--My Mother's Mother, died when she was 12 yrs old--so, forever and for always after that, she had to be strong--not warm and cuddly--but  strong---  and she was---  She "ruled the roost"----I remember Dad telling me that.  

 I was a different "huggy" sort of Mom---with my own children--but--my life was different--Do you ever think about  your upbringing and how you are the person that you are to-day?--Lots to think about!

Almost time to head back to town to pick up Himself----How is your day going?--Is it as "wintery" in your neck of the woods as it is here?-

--Are you feeling strong to-day?---  

No matter what--- Be amazing-!----  Be kind---- It's a tough world out there most days and a smile can make someone's day--justa smile--------  until to-morrow-----  stay safe-----Someone out there is thinking of you----"ME"---

 

Choose to be Optimistic to-day!

SUNDAY--- WooWoo! -a day of rest--AND---It is St. Patricks Day--- green beer--- a green river---Dad used to say, "The luck of the Irish" --altho we were not Irish--Scottish----

 

-AND----  GUESS WHAT? ---  I only have 2 dogs--- Son#3 picked his 2 up---  and  it's hard to believe, but big Beau is back to his old calm self-- Do you think that keeping 4 dogs in our house was just too chaotic for Beau?--He is not peeing in the house-- He seems relaxed--He ate---  hard to believe that a dog could just  not put up with so much stress---- He seems happy-- relaxed---Poor fellow eh?--- I am happy that I took the extra 2 pooches , and that son#3 was able to get out of town and take his family on a vacation--I know that he needed that time away--

Imagine if we loved each other, the way our pets love us!

We had a few snow flurries this morning--  Did you know that this is the final weekend of winter? --Do you realize that this coming Tuesday is the first day of Spring?

We used to chant: "Spring has sprung, The grass has riz-- I wonder where the Boidies iz?--- The Boid is on the wing, But that's Absoid, I thought the wing was on the Boid!" ----and then, we would laugh  like crazy children--

It is a good day to have a good day----Choose Joy---Relax-----Read a bit-----and above all, hug the ones you love-- You never know what others are going thru do we?---  Just look at big Beau--He tried to tell me but I didn't listen very well---

Son #2 the Pilot is winging his way back to Toronto, from Britain--  He said all he ate were fish and chips so took no pictures--told me his mini car was hit by a garbage truck while it was parked in an alley--and is a complete write off---I think that has upset him-- Pilots  are always happier in the sky I believe!

Be Optimistic to-day----It just feels better doesn't it?---