Well, everyday--There are changes----and as one ages--even more changes---and, it seems one must just figure it all out--But--just look at the above picture-- children--very happy--not a care in their world--and here I am, all worried--trying to figure out my purpose in life-- trying to figure out a place to live--with PEOPLE close by--
So, I am considering a big move--Crazy eh??-- a more inclusive place to live-- a building with meals provided--- transportation provided to stores etc--- more costly of course--but, I would not be as lonely as I am here--no memory test to have to do , to keep my car--probably would get rid of the vehicle--It is something to consider--and--- as I am already "over that hill"--I certainly will never be any younger--so---- maybe it is time to move to a place with meals provided--trips that would take me places--(I would not need a car)----This fantom place does exist--at a price--- and it might take all the pressure off me having to visit the doctor here who insists I conform and do stuff he tells me-- You see, I will never be any younger-- but --I just might get more enjoyment out of living in a Seniors centre where senior citizens are respected-- catered to a bit --(at a cost)--no more memory tests---
What do you think??--It means another move , but--I think --I hope--it would be the final move---- What do you all think?-- I will never be any younger-- but--I WILL get older-----
and of course, Lopez will come with me---
I say YES to the move! After my mother died, my father (who was the outgoing one) was so lonely and his world got a lot smaller. He would actually go the grocery stores on the weekends, despite the traffic and crowds, just to be around people. We moved him to be closer to us and he lived in an independent retirement community for seven years, until he was 96, and then to an adult family home for his final three years.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you, he thrived in that community! He worked out with a personal trainer, took classes, participated in game nights (trivia, poker, bingo), went on lunch and touristy outings (including monthly trips to the casino), took the community's bus to shop at the grocery and drugstores, and somehow became That Guy after being just a regular person all of his life. He had a one-bedroom apartment that included a small kitchen, so he could make a sandwich or heat up some soup for lunch if he didn't feel like moseying down to the dining room. The food was pretty darn good, too. He was less than a mile from us so it was easy to pop in to share lunch or coffee in their "bistro," and it was a relief to know he wasn't alone and his health and wellbeing were being monitored.
Lynda, there's NOTHING wrong with investing that lifetime's worth of savings to ease the stress of your life, to wake up each morning looking forward to what's next instead of worrying about how you will make it through another day. You and Himself supported all your children when it mattered. Please know that you are worth that kind of support too.
It's Kathy. So nice to see such happy faces this morning. My little grandsons each called their Grandpa (my Tom) last night. One to tell him that he loved his Grandpa. The other to ask if Tom knew how to text! That little guy loves to text memes to anyone who will open them! That's a big step, moving again. Me, personally, would not like that at all. But I enjoy being at home alone and honestly, I have no idea what I would want if Tom wasn't here. I do see the convenience of not having to drive and not having to cook meals for yourself. I'm sure if I was here alone most of my meals would be canned soup! Tom isn't a fan of soup so we don't have it very often. Bottom line, I think you need to do what you feel is best for you! I know after my dad passed away we wanted my mom to live in the Senior Center near her home. We visited and she saw people she went to high school with. It was a lovely place and she would have her own kitchen but also meals were served in the dining room. They picked a room on the main floor with a view of the bird feeders (my mom loved feeding the birds). It was all set - Tom and I went out of town for the weekend - and she went in and cancelled her room. I worried about her - she got her hair done every Thursday even in snow storms - but I guess she wasn't ready to leave her home. So you need to do what your heart tells you is best! Have a lovely day.
ReplyDeleteMorning Lynda,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are worrying before you know you the answer about your license. I hate to see you make a rash decision before you have really thought it out. Maybe talk it over with your kids or a neutral party before you decide anything. Will you have your own apartment in a Senior Living Community? Will you be able to take Lopez and Sushi with you? I myself personally would not be able to give up my animals.
Just give it some time to consider all the options before you make any hasty decisions. Sorry, I am not trying to lecture or deter you from what you want or need. Just giving you things to think about.
Have a good day!
Hugs,
Jackie
Yes-I shall have my own apArtment--meals supplied also--Lynda
DeleteGirlfriend, I've thought that all along, and couldn't figure out why you would want to move to a place where you have to shovel, go up and down stairs, do your own laundry, including that huge bed, and be isolated, right after your husband passed. I thought all along that that was a very bad idea, but we all must choose for ourselves what is right, and we have to experience it for ourselves.
ReplyDeletePlease, DO IT! But one thing, make sure you have your OWN thermostat. My mom ended up not having her own thermostat, and was always either too hot, or usually, too cold. I'd go to visit, and could not control the temps, and always had to leave very quickly, because I was always too darn hot!
Marti
Marti it was a very bad idea-- I found out the hartd way--VERY VERY lonely-=-Lynda
DeleteDear, dear Lynda, what on earth happened between the time you wrote the first part of your blog, when you were full of vim, vip and vigor and said you had passed the memory test and could drive again and when you added to the blog sounding very down and said you had not passed the memory test? First, I will say this, it is never, ever a good idea to make a MAJOR decision when you are in an emotional state of mind, and you are definitely in an emotional state of mind right now. Second, what type of Senior Living place are you considering, as there are many types, at least in the States? Is it a place that you would only have your room and a bathroom? Would it be a suite which would have a living area and a bedroom and bathroom with a kitchenette. Would it be an assisted living place? Have you actually toured the place? All those questions need to be answered before you make any move. Would you be able to take both Sushi and Lopez? Does the place have landscaped grounds where you could walk around on nice days? It would not be good for you to go somewhere where you'd be sitting all day. All the things that you've been doing have kept you strong and in good health. Please give it time before rushing into a decision. Definitely talk to Matt, as of all your children, he spent the most time around you when you lived in Lakeview.
ReplyDeleteMaureen from California
second memory test--I failed--so-- bad news to the Dr--Now he wants another test--I just do not have it in me--Lynda
DeleteMy dear, I can only say . . . think about, consider all your options, don't make a hasty decision. Would you take both Lopez and Sushi? That is something that would make or break the deal for me. No way would I leave Miss Lilly. On the flip side, it IS good to have your workload lessened. Take your time making that decision. It is a HUGE one.
ReplyDeletehugs
blessings
barb
1cd
Yes--Lopez and Sushi will come with me for sure--another move--move#3-- Lordy Be--Lynda
Deleteno snow fell to-day--a good thing-Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda! It is sunny but cold in Ohio. Gosh, so much for you to think about. Not sure what to say except follow your heart. I know the fur babies must go with you. Can your piano go? So many things to think out. Maybe take time to figure it out. Sorry you are in this driving situation. Hope your day is going well. Big hugs!
ReplyDeleteLynda, I am very, VERY confused. I went back to yesterday's post and now you are saying you did NOT pass the memory test? But you SAID you had passed it. How is it that they are saying you didn't pass it when you said you passed it?
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have actual chats with you other than this back and forth commenting. It all depends upon what they are saying about you. Are you getting dementia? Do they expect it to progress? At what stage are you in? Are there meds you can take? Your family knows you best, if they feel it best you move to an assisted living place, then you should do so. My mom with her senior center group took tours of all the available places. She knew what she wanted and didn't want, and what she could afford and couldn't afford before she even moved. Talk it all out with your family, we here on the net cannot possibly know what all is going on. Think about what you want, and what you couldn't live without. There is a LOT to consider.
Hugs.
Marti
Good late afternoon, sis.
ReplyDeleteIt may be a great idea... if there is one in Elliot Lake or nearby so you'd still be near family, if Sushi and your piano could come, too. Would you still be able to go to your favorite hairdresser
Did the doctor really say you have to relinquish your driver's licence??
Don't panic (like I'm kinda doing right now with so much to do in the next hour before karaoke)....JUST BREATHE. It will all work out, I promise. Decisions are sometimes hard to make, though.
What do the kids think?
I'll check back here after I get back from karaoke. {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
I am confused too. One minute you are saying you will be getting your drivers license and all excited, and the next you are acting like you can’t do anything. What is going on?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, if you truly want to move somewhere where they handle all the maintenance, etc. and you eat what they cook, go for it. You have always seemed to be a rather independent woman, so it will be a bit of a change, but may turn out to be a great way to spend these later years. I do want to caution you though, on the lonely issue. You can feel alone in a crowd too, it is after all, a state of mind. So it may not cure that ill. You are missing your husband, and that is not going to change.
Anyway, the decision on all of this is up to you, and only you can make it.
Good luck, and I hope you can slow your thought process and focus on what is really going on and make a decision based on that. Susan in Colorado.
Hi Lynda: I'm confused about the memory test too. I thought you passed. It's totally up to you about moving. I wondered about you moving to that house alone. I think it would be good if you moved to a seniors home providing you have your own suite. Then you can be alone when you want and there are always people around when you want to do things. And your kids could visit you. You just have to see what type of facilities are available and the cost, I think you could be quite happy. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a reasonable thing to consider. Safe, and a lot of "worries" removed from your plate. If you have a place that lets you keep Lopez (and Sushi?) and some level of independence, it might be worth the cost to let go of the need to drive, and let someone else keep track of appointments and meds and such? It's your call of course, but gathering information never hurt any of us!
ReplyDelete