There is always a better day!

 All is OK here -Good thing I didn't cave in yesterday---so-- Lord love a Duck!---There is always to-morrow-- and, the good Lord made sure that Himself is more himself--at least for to-day-

We have sun--cold temperatures-- and now we have Chihuahua paths all around our front lawn--This morning Lopez seemed to welcome the new foot paths and used them to do his business.

Son#2 , is in England, and sent food pictures back--  but--I have no idea what the dishes are--  Do any of you recognize them?

He returns to Toronto this evening--He says he has never seen snow there-- Interesting-- 

So, it's nap time- I'll take my book and hit the couch --- The sun shining in the window here feels warm--I hope to-day is a good day for you---  and if it's not, make it a good day-- --

You really are special--I know, you are telling yourself, "She is just saying that--and to everyone-- "----BUT_____YU better believe it! 

And now we have SNOW!---

This is exactly what we look like to-day-- all though,  this picture was not taken to-day-We have so much snow falling right now--I dropped everything and began to shovel --- I cannot use the new snowblower yet, as our driveway is made of tiny black stones and they are not frozen to the ground  and will get into the new snowblower and break the sheer pins---- I was out for 2 hours-- made a path to the road , and the town snow plough went by, and blew all kinds of snow into the driveway --anyway, after being out there forever- with Himself sitting in the kitchen watching tennis--along came Son#1 with his tractor--He lives down the road-and he gave us a good plough--says not to worry because as long as I'm not in a hurry, he will always be coming--Bless his heart! 

In the middle of all this, himself decided to come out and  ask Son#1 to start our snow blower--I told him we should not be using the snowblower yet and-- you know  , he began to pound  on the door, right in front of my face-------I realized then that he is not normal anymore--He does not like me telling him what to do-- knew then that if he could've , he would've pounded me--Isn't  that a "fine kettle of fish" ?--(Mom's expression)-----It hurts so much to see your husband in such a state!---  He used to be such a gentle person-- and it seems now he is so full of anger-

I am OK---tired ---and the snow is still falling--which will mean more shovelling later-- little Lopez wore his million dollars parka  and hopped over the snow banks, to the back road and did his business--such a good little fellow-

I guess you could say that I am beginning to realize that living with someone with some form of dementia , is "not all it's cracked up too be"---(Mom's expression for sure!)----It is a whole lot of work---and it seems to get worse as the days go by--Are many of you out there dealing with this also?--Have you ever dealt with this?- -I always appreciate your comments--- 

Good thing that I am in a good mood-- I believe that helps one get thru a lot of "stuff"---Lord love a Duck! We must "stay strong"-  -----Each day is a new beginning--  and---- we can make the best of it---but------Sometimes- it is necessary to be  even more stronger!  

 

"All my ancestors are behind me"

 Yes, I am learning to speak up--  I am learning that 2-3  errands in one outing is about all I can do in a day--(I read all yer comments yesterday, and it seems we are all the same)---So, I WILL just tell Himself that,  and  when he announces that I must go to  another place, after being in 653 stores already, I HAVE TO SPEAK UP--He will have  to listen to me as I am the driver! -
We just returned home from getting our flu shots--It was a Walk-in  clinic----I am relieved that we got it--have  had 5 Covid shots-----Hopefully that shot to-day will keep the Flu away--There were 3 babies there--so cute---  all dressed in winter wear--hats and boots--They were happy till the DR  gave each one their needle--then the crying began--I wanted to squeeze them!

Yesterday when I left Himself here with Lopez and Beau, so I could get my hair done, Himself said that Lopez sat at the top of the stairs to the garage and just waited for me--  so cute!  He absolutely loves me-- (but would still bite me--)-----  These wee Chihuahuas are certainly  a very different breed of dog--

We have sunshine with Lollipops outside (a song !)_Himself is good -so far---- and it seems like a good day to have a good day-

I cannot ever be weak--- crying will not help---I can feel my Mom and Dad telling me this-- Do yu ever feel your ancestors speaking in yer head?--Sometimes I wonder if I am "losing it"--- but-- then I hear Mom telling me, (as she always did)-to "Stand on your own 2 feet"-- Lord love a Duck! 

Never trust a person who doesn't like cows!

Very cold here---  VERY VERY!--Not much snow fell overnight too-- which is good!--  Hopefully to-day will be uneventful-- Yesterday was  difficult-- 

I must remember that I am only one person, and I can only do so much-- You see, I took Himself with me, in the car, to town-- I had 3 errands to do-- then he wanted  me to go to the deli--then the very expensive grocery, and MacDonalds-- so my 3 errands --then his 3 errands--made 6 places I had to enter stores, as he sits in the car. When you go shopping, do you find that if you do too much , you return home "fit to be tied" (Mom's expression !)-----I was exhausted--It was getting dark--and little Lopez had to be walked  in the dark--before I could get supper--So----- Looking back over my very terrible awful afternoon, it really was all my fault, because I should have refused to go to so many places-- What was I thinking?--- I must start  thinking of myself--forget  his demands when I am so busy--  do some chores on another day-- BECAUSE _-I AM THE CARE GIVER---I cannot burn out on my job-- while he sits in the car--

 There is always another day--and I will remember to monitor  my actions--- so, one bad day I suppose isn't bad--  but--- I will think twice ( Mom's expression again!)__ before I  do so much again.---  Hard eh?---

I still wear a mask when entering buildings--Most people are not masking-- sometimes I wear 2 masks-- And to-morrow morning, Himself and I are getting our flu shot----just there and back---  NO ERRANDS!-  LOL--

Sadie the cleaning Lady (who is really ME!) is chomping at the bit here to come in and clean a room-- I find now that I am sticking to my schedule of a room a day, by the time I come back to redo that room, it isn't as dusty--But--now the snow is here! Lord love a Duck!--

You know, the above is true isn't it?-- People cry--WOMEN cry--because they've been strong for too long--- I wonder how cows  go thru life? --no vacuuming-- just mooching around a field all day--Hmmmmmmmm----maybe no stress----AND THEY HAVE 2 STOMACHS----more food-- I think!

 

Keep Calm and Be Positive!

 I shall try to think "happy" thoughts--Wee little Lopez, the Chihuahua with attitude---  and I--well we "hoofed" it up the back road--in SNOW---  It was SO cold! And I forgot my mitts-- I was worried about Lopez in his bare little toes with the snow--but-- as I keep saying, he is a trouper--just waddled along in his parka-and HE DID HIS BUSINESS! I never thought he would as the snow was about 3-4 inches deep-I put big Beau, the German (as in Shepherd) out-- when I returned home, -- he sat in the snow and I could tell he just loved it! ----

Everything is white outside-- I look at the bricks in front of the garage, and I wonder if I can really clear the drive as the winter progresses-- We always had the neighbour do it--He charged $800 --and this year it would be more-- probably $1000 or $1200 ----and I did buy the Ego battery snow blower, thinking I could do it--I hope I can--but---  dunno-It can go from this-----

-to this----Lord love a Duck! Yu think I should keep the snow plough guy-- or--just take a chance ?---We do not need to go anywhere on a snowy day--and Son#1 does live down the road--and he might plough--

---tough decision ---- Should I trust my decision to do this myself---??? 

Himself seems pretty good to-day--but---yu just never know---  LOL---things can change ----And my older brother who lives in Southern Ontario, called last evening , and said he is going to propose to his cleaning Lady ---whoever she is-- I asked who she is and he responded that he doesn't really know her--that they keep sending different women to  clean up after him-- but--he said , he needs someone to take care of him in his house, so whoever goes there this morning , he will ask her to marry him. He has done this before, forcing whoever it was to quit her job, and whoever this poor soul is, will probably do the same. He is so afraid of going  into a Long Term Care home--desperately wants to stay in his own place--cannot drive--  is bed ridden--his wife passed many yrs ago--  Isn't it sad as people age , life becomes so difficult-??- AND I CAN'T HELP HIM--(because I will be blowing snow!--LOLOL)_--

It is what it is -- I must remember that!-- -- Sadie is waiting here--(who is me!)- so, I'll talk to you all to-morrow-

We are a part of this day-- and we are strong---we just have to be----  Right??

Create your own Sunshine!

I worried all day yesterday--for nothing--- because, ---- I finally took the "Bull by the horns"  (of course-Mom's expression)---and did what I had to do to correct a situation.----Sometimes one must  "bite the bullet" and just do what you know is necessary--  and I did!----So much worrying for nothing because this AM, I feel like I am 10 pounds lighter---worrying causes  a heap of stress--- so --just DO  what you know is necessary-

-JUST DO IT! A lot of you told me that yesterday--

Lopez and I "hoofed" it up the road--minus 11 C-- It felt SO COLD! ---  The school bus passed us and Son #1 with his German Shepherd "Deja"----  Lopez had his parka on , as he  waddled along beside me-

We have a wisp of snow on the ground----

I heard on CBC this AM., that people will be cutting way back on their Xmas Shopping this year-No guff eh??--- I thought to myself, "Well, I guess so!"-- How about you?---Will you be spending what you usually do?-----I certainly will be spending a lot less---- which will make me rack the brain to get something that each person could use ---for less $$$$-----How are you all going to do that?--I think Himself and I could use "FOOD"-- FOOD VOUCHERS----  even coffee vouchers-- I am good at getting meals , some days-- and others, it's difficult----probably why my Mom and Dad always would appear , out here  at dinner time when they were alive--Too bad I never understood then, like I do now. Why do we not understand, until we live the same experiences in our "old-er" age?

I woke up this morning and said to Himself, "You know we  are alive--and well"-----It feels so good to just realize that!---I must get on with the day here--  Make this day special--- just by "being You" ----

 

You gotta pretend everything's okay.

It is a good day-- so far-- sunny--  cold tho--minus 11 C when I got up--Little Lopez and I , put on our Parkas  and "hoofed" it up the back road---It was freezing--  He is a pretty good little guy to run along beside me in his bare paws-and he did his business- 

I got up at 4am-- Our bedroom was only 67F---Our room is the coldest room ion the house--always-- 

 I tip toed down and turned up the furnace--then went back to bed, and couldn't get back to  sleep---I was worrying about everything under the sun-- (Moms words!)---You see, I do the worrying as Himself has no idea what is going on anywhere in the world--nor does he ever think about anything ever going wrong---and so I worry--and-I even worry-  about just me worrying--It sounds crazy doesn't it?----And you know what?--  Worrying doesn't change things--

Thoughts of hope, faith and victory-- That's what I must think about-- 

Life does turn out---It always does-- and sometimes in ways that are better-- Lord love a Duck!--  I guess,  and even if I had a million dollars , I 'd still worry about  stuff!--Do you worry?----  have you always been a "worry wart"?--  -- But you know, when I sit at the piano, I never am worrying about anything--