Well I am trying to be stronger-- but---'tis kinda difficult--I need my "other half""----but--the good thing is--I AM HERE---Lord love a Duck! - ( guess you surmised--Yesterday, I was wallowing into-- "the depths of despair""--Who used to say that??---Was it Anne of Green Gables??-- I did think of you all--wished you all were here--so I could cry on your shoulders---SO so many tears--
So, I am trying to get back to Elliot Lake--where I belong-- It is going to take time, as I do not have an apartment--- altho a lovely Lady texted me yesterday and offered a B-and B--'till an apartment is ready--I'd have to put all my things into storage tho--but--It is something to think about--
Son #2 is in Los Vegas----Below, he just sent the picture of the city--in the dark---said there was a lot of turbulence , en route there--a change is seasons probably cause all that--
Now, wouldn't that be fun?
It is Sunday and if I could stop coughing and spreading this flu bug, I'd go to Church--
Probably not a good idea !
Anyway. I AM BACK---I hope y'all do NOT pick up my flu, from reading this--I sure did miss yu all yesterday---I need you all to tell me to STOP THE CRYING, AND GET ON WITH LIFE__--I hope your day is a great day---Could you come to Lakefield??---
I sure feel better just chatting with you this AM---
Lynda, my friend, it hasn’t been too very long since your world completely changed. While everyone grieves differently, I would probably expect to cry for a while longer. Even nearly twelve years later, I still miss my Himself and sometimes cry. But I’d probably plan on giving it a few more months for the major crying.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that the grief journey is just that - a journey. It does get easier. Focus on the happy memories. Let the not so happy ones go. And if you can find a grief group, it really can help. Look at GriefShare.org, if it exists in Canada.
Remember we are all here for you.
Oh Donna --I really needed your advice-- I shall look on the site yu sent and see what is available here in Lakefield-on "grief" management--Thank yu--YU lost your "Himself" also??--How did yu manage it??-- YU must be strong--- Hs your life returned to normal??--Will it ever??--Thank yu for writing-Please stay in touch-----I feel like life will never be happy again--I wish I had been by his side more--So happy to hear from yu--Thank yu--Lynda
DeleteI’d have to say that my faith is what helped me manage losing my best friend and the other half of me. And I waited over a year before I made any big decisions, and by then my emotions had calmed down a little. I now have a very satisfying and fulfilling life, in a state halfway across the country from where I was. My memories will never be lost, even though my life looks nothing like it did. Give yourself grace, friend. It’s a huge adjustment.
DeleteThank yu--so much for w riting--I guess we all exp[erience grief in many ways--Lynda
DeleteGood morning, Lynda! It’s our favorite day. Oh no, you have the flu?! That does not help emotions not feeling well. I am so sorry! Don’t do too much and rest. I hope your days get brighter. We are all here for you. I hope you find peace soon and an apartment. Things will fall into place. Keep the faith. Stay strong! Much love from Ohio!
ReplyDeleteKeep theb faith--Yes yers yes--I shall try harder--Lynda
DeleteSometimes just writing it all out is therapy of a sort! You know we all miss you when you're "missing", but know that we all understand, too. Thinking of you every day, whether you write or not!
ReplyDeleteOh Barb--- I( made it--- coz I have missed yu all-- I shall try harder--Lynda
DeleteI am sorry to hear that you have caught a bug. Take care of yourself, drink your fluids and rest. Grief is just hard, and you will have good days and bad days. It eventually becomes more bearable and you find a path forward. I know you are very focused on returning to Elliot Lake, but I would think long and hard before I put everything in storage in order to move to a B and B. Not only would you be missing your husband, you would also be missing your things, and what about your pets? So perhaps sit tight until you find a more permanent solution.
ReplyDeleteFeel better soon and know we are all thinking of you. Susan in Colorado.
I agree with Susan in not rushing into moving into a B & B. Dealing with another move so soon and putting everything in storage seems like a lot. Give yourself some time to regain your footing, as they say.
DeleteJackie
Susan YU are right--I shall be here till a place comes up in Elliot--Lynda
DeleteBe sure to take care of yourself with rest and hydration. You don't want to get yourself down and out with the flu. We understand if you aren't able to blog every day. You are dealing with a lot. We are here for you.
ReplyDeleteJackie
Jackie--- I AM HERE--- Lordy Be--- I must carry on-- Lynda--Thank yu--
DeleteGood morning Lynda, sorry to hear that you have the flu. Please take good care of yourself. As for moving to Elliott Lake, do you know of a real estate agent that works there? If so, perhaps you could call or send an email saying that you're looking for a small apt in town that accepts pets. It would be great if it also had a garage. Many real estates agents provide virtual tours, so you could view the apt online. I would not suggest renting it without viewing it in person, so you could see if there were defects. Are you able to break the lease in Lakefield, or do you plan to pay the penalty? I don't know how Matt feels about you moving back, but I'm confident that it he'd still help you with the online viewing. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteMaureen from California
Maureen great ideas--Thank yu--Lynda
DeleteHoping that you feel better today! Getting the "flu bug" is no fun. I hear it's going around. As everyone say, make sure to have plenty of liquids to keep you hydrated. As for the move, well I'm not sure I would uproot so soon again. Take time to make this decision, as right now your emotions are all over the place. I guess there is no right way to anything. Just give yourself time Lynda. Praying for peace and strength for you. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeletePeace and strength--isexactly what I need--Lynda
DeleteSo sorry you have the flu bug! I'm sure your resistance was down due to all the stress of losing Fred. You must take care of yourself! I read something just recently about how you should think about what happens when you are traveling on an airplane - and turbulence happens, the oxygen mask drops down and we are told to put it on our ownself first! So you need to put yours on now - and make sure you have the oxygen you need: sleep, exercise, nutrition and lastly spiritual faith. I know you get exercise each day by walking Lopez, but are you eating healthy and getting enough sleep? And it is none of my business, but I hope you are aware that God is there holding your hand as you go through this major change in your life. Just pretend you are flying alone side of your son when he travels and make sure you have your "oxygen" mask on. Take care of yourself Lynda. Love and hugs and praying for you!
ReplyDeleteOh - and I almost forgot to tell you that I have been alternating sides of the king size bed for 6 -SIX years now. It gives me comfort and plus I don't have to wash the sheets as often! LOL!
Great comment for Lynda!
DeleteGreat ideas Sandra--Thank yu so much--Lynda
DeleteI receive a Daily Motivation newsletter and yesterday's quote made me think of you: "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice." (Bob Marley) As far as moving, please don't make an impulsive decision. I'm not sure an Airbnb is the right choice, as not only will you have Lopez, I would think you'd feel even more lost if you weren't surrounded by the things that bring you comfort, that turn a place into a home. And when I think of YOUR things, the one thing that comes to mind is your piano. Are you willing to sacrifice that, even in the short term? If you're committed to moving back, ask those three boys there to find and screen appropriate apartments for you. And please be sensitive to Son #2's feelings in your desperation to move back; he's done so much to help you transition to Lakefield over the past six months. He might not acknowledge it, but it has to hurt to hear "thanks for the help, but I'm outta here." / Hugs / Leslie
ReplyDeleteLeslie thanks for the meaningful response to our dear dear friend lynda. Great thoughts
DeleteI'm going to repost what I wrote a couple days ago as I don't know if you saw it.
ReplyDeleteLynda, It's okay to cry.
12.5 years ago my younger son and I were in a car wreck, I survived, he didn't. I was numb for several weeks and then the tears started. I cried every day for over a year, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. Gradually the tears came less often. I still have things that trigger the tears and I really don't know when or where they will come. Yesterday was his birthday and it was a hard day. There is a big hole in my life and it will always be there, but I have carried on as best I can. I know that you will do the same.
I hope that this will give you a small bit of comfort and a glimmer of hope for the future.
YES-Yu helped me accept my fate-- yours was much greater and Yu did it--Lynda
DeleteLynda, there has to be a balance in life...in all things. You will have good times and sad ones. It is to be expected. Just expect the good days to begin to come more often.
ReplyDeleteLook at the news you shared...a way to move back to Elliot sooner rather than later. Sure, you'd have to put your stuff in storage, but when an apartment opened, it would already be there.
It would be good-bye to Foodland, walking trails and church, though.
We are all thinking of you, praying for you...always. I sure wish I could come visit. When you get to Elliot, you will be half as far for me as you are now. If I was gonna stay a few days, I'd have to bring Lucky, though. Wonder what all the pets would think of one another?!
Cleaning out the car this morning...stuff to recycle, bring upstairs, etc. Tommorow I get my title paper at the Dept of Motor Vehicles, Tuesday is the eye doctor and that day I may have the car detailed, too. Then Wednesday or so...I will have a new(er) car! I can hardly wait.
It's good to have something to look forward to. You have a return to Elliot for your 'something.'
I'll be back later to check comments, sis. Please find something to think about that makes you happy. Maybe a nap cuddling Sushi. {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
And take care of that flu? Have you had a flu shot?
DeleteNo no flu shot Maggie but yu got me out of the Depths of Despair--Thank yu Lynda
DeleteAwwwww ((((HUGS)))) shed those tears. They are healing.
ReplyDeleteFor sure, Las Vegas is a well lit city!
Oh goodness. Well, having the flu doesn’t help matters @ all. Sending healing thoughts and many more (((HUGS))))
Remember grief can be like a tsunami. One day things are pretty calm then this huge tidal wave of grief overtakes you. That’s part of the process. Of course, different for everyone, but give yourself time.
HUGS
Barb
1cd
Awwww Barb--It s hard--all th tears--- Hope I gdt over these tears soon--Lynda
DeleteDear Lynda, thinking of you everyday and hoping you find comfort in all the wonderful things you do that bring you pleasure. Play your piano, walk in the sunshine, love on you Lopez and spend time with your family & friends. Hoping your blog to your virtual friends brings you some element of pleasure, finding joy is an antidote for grief.
ReplyDeleteSo hard but I do feel sorry for myself--I must stop that-Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I'm sure you will have many days feeling in the depth of despair - and you are right, it was Anne of Green Gables. You must feel your feelings, whatever they are. As someone else said - it is okay to cry. I'm sure part of it is that you're also not feeling very well. When I was in the worst of my pain there were days when I just couldn't function! Now that I'm healing I want to do everything - and that's not the best idea either! So I try to balance what my brain wants me to do with what my body CAN do! We are all here for you. I really with I could come to visit! One day at a time! When my dad passed away my mom did the things that she loved to do, but I know that she missed him so very much! They had been together almost 60 years - through the war! I'm sure she cried when she was alone too! You are a wonderful person!
ReplyDeleteHi Kathy--I read about yer Mom-==-I need to take advice from her eh?--Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda, so happy to see your blog today. Cry..just let yourself cry. Oh how I do wish I could come to Lakefield and hug you.
ReplyDeleteLynda HOW are you going to find an apartment in Elliott? Do you have a realtor looking for you? That could help and might speed up the process. I hope you or the boys or a realtor can find what you want with a garage. A B&B would be a temporary solution...at least you'd be home. You could tell all your friends in Elliott that you're looking and perhaps they know of an apartment.
I've been coughing for 2 weeks on meds. Good luck with your cough.
Love, prayers and hugs
Marge,St Louis
Marge good Ideas-- Hope to move maybe by July-- Hard day today--Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda: Cry as much as you need to. It takes time. At least Matt and his wife are around most of the time. More than the boys in Elliott will be. I do hope you discussed your leaving so soon with Matt as they have done so much for you. I think that you should find a realtor who does rentals to help you find a place back there. Like getting a place that takes animals and a piano, etc. Try to get over your flu first as that will impact what you're trying to do. How far is Lakefield from Peterborough? Take care of yourself. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteI cannot drive into Peterborough with my crazy eye troubles-- Lynda
Delete