First of all, you need to enable 3rd Party cookies. That will help fix your Whoops errors. So if you're on Firefox, turn off your Enhanced Tracking Protection. Near Comment, Click where it says Google Account and an arrow, you see the three ways to comment: Select profile... A) use your Google account, so that there is a profile picture next to your comment OR B) use your name line and then put in your User name, whatever name you want people to know you by, the second line for a website is optional OR C) be ANONYMOUS. When you have finished typing your comment, please copy it into your clipboard (your computer memory), in case there is a problem. Then you can paste it in again if necessary. Some comments disappear. Click the Publish button when you are done, you may see a box that says, I am not a robot ----Click there--then click -Publish. Do not check the Notify me button, unless you want contacted by email whenever anyone leaves a comment on this blog. Come back again soon, to see if there are any replies to your comment, and to join again in the discussion. If you do not see the comments, you need to click the title of the blog, to separate that blog from the main page or click Comments at the bottom of the blog, either way. It's okay if you double post, the extra ones will be removed soon if they are exactly the same as one before. Thank you!
Nurse Lynda, you are a very very strong women.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time. Big big hugs from all
I am trying to be strong-- but why do I keep crying?-- --Awwwww--- I really just want to go home--- to Elliot Lake-- but --I am stuck here for awhile--due to lease etc--Fred absolutely loved this place-- so I am happy he made it to a place he could manoevre better in-- but--now-- I want to go home--- Lynda
DeleteHey, give yourself a break, it takes lots of time to figure out how to continue to live when we lose our spouse. It is okay to cry. It is okay not to want to get up and face the world.
ReplyDeleteIf you return to Elliot Lake, I understand, but you need to realize that you will not be returning to your old home, and that it may not be the refuge you think it is. So keep that in mind, as your mind takes you to your “home” of the past. Hopefully just being in a familiar place will be enough, but it is definitely not going to be like it was previously.
I remember when my husband died, it took about 6 months of me saying to myself” he is not coming back” for it to really sink in. I think our mind can play tricks on us to ease our sadness.
Take care of yourself and give yourself some time. Losing our partner in life is devastating. So glad you have family with you.
Oh you understand-- Thank yu--so hard !!! I never expected it to be like this!!----seems to take a long time to get over it-Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda! I’m sorry you are going through this but I am thankful you have Sushi and Lopez. They will help so much. It is so very windy in Ohio. I wanted to go to the next town over but it is awful. Going out to breakfast sounds so good. I know you enjoyed that. Yes, fake it til ya make it. LOL We must do that sometimes. I know you can do it. Enjoy your family time. Hugs!
ReplyDelete-not a good thing to go thru--- - Allison is here from Ohio--which really helps--Lynda
DeleteMy goodness Lynda, you are one of the strongest, caring and courageous people (aka woman) I have ever encountered albeit only virtually. And yes, you will miss Himself every day, yet as the days go on the anguish of missing that fills your heart now will be crowded out with the memories of your loving relationship with Fred and the joy of having your family filling your heart! I am glad you are looking forward to returning to Eliot Lake and living without the burdens of taking care of your huge (and lovely) home. Love & hugs Deb Honeycutt.
ReplyDeleteDeb--- Yes It was the right thing o get rid of the large home--Thank yu for writing--so good of yu think of me-- Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I really admire you, Lynda. You are getting up each morning and taking care of things. I can only imagine how difficult it can be but you are doing it. And I do believe you are Strong - you might be a mess inside but your strength comes when you do what has to be done anyway! I'm glad you have some children with you right now! Sushi and Lopez are good company. I wish I could give you a hug!!! You will be able to return to Elliot Lake when it's time. Take care! And I read your comment above - of course you're crying. You loved Fred and he was your partner for many, many years! You two shared a wonderful life and now your life is changing. I would be crying too!
ReplyDeleteOh Kathy--but--I am crying too much--I need to stop--- Yes I am doing wht needs to be done--but--I do miss my l;ife back in Elliot--but Fred was a part of me then--mmnThank yu for writing--Lynda
DeleteLynda, what you are experiencing is normal. Of course you are grieving for Fred, and crying is a way of releasing what you're feeling. That's far better then holding it all inside. There are stages of grieving, but of course it is different for every individual.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about Elliott Lake and when you were searching for something smaller, and it seems you didn't have much success. I know you want to return to Elliott Lake, and if that's where your heart takes you, then that's the right decision. I'm sure you realize that your life there will be vastly different and I wonder if you will find enough in town to keep you busy since you won't have the big house to care for and the yard and flowers to plant, etc.
You made Fred happy Lynda, even if he had only a few months to enjoy the apt. in Lakefield, so take comfort in that. I hope you're able to find an apt. as nice as the one in Lakefield with all new appliances and a walk-in shower. Just take your time. Bless you, and you are stronger than you know.
So kind of yu to write-I have all the questions also--but--I just know I do not belong here--Thank yu for writing--Lynda
DeleteI'm glad that today is better for you. A tiny bit better each day.
ReplyDeleteI don't entirely agree with that first meme, though. I don't 'fight against' what I don't want, I am focusing on what I do want! Mother Theresa said it best when asked if she would march in a march AGAINST the Vietnam war. She said, " No, but if you have a march for peace, I will join you." I may have got the words mixed up, but that's the gist of what she said.
The photos of the pets are adorable. Lopez looks still sleepy. Sushi looks like she's smiling!
Does Matt know you plan to move back to Elliot Lake? Just asking...
Still a cold wind here, but by afternoon it's always a little warmer. Friday, it's supposed to be 37 degrees OVER freezing.
We are all still thinking of you and praying for you, Lynda, and will continue to do so.
Dishes to do here got the garbage and recycling done already.
I will check back later to see if you comment. {{{HUGS}}} Love, your sis, Maggie
Maggie--YU understand don't yu??--YU see, I have lived in Elliot so long--It is home for me--not here--Yes I have talked it over with Matt--- and I agree, it will not be the apartment I want but it will feel more like home--I believe--Allison and her family are still here-- Lynda
DeleteLynda, don't compare yourself to anybody else - cry as much as you need. It is natural! And relieving. You don't need to place any expectations on yourself. Now, if you were crying all the time, in, say, 6 months from now, then it might be a concern, but not right now. You JUST lost your husband. My cousin's wife lost my cousin 2 years ago now, and she still gets very sad, and lives in a big rambling house all alone. She DOES socialize a lot, and keeps very busy with functions and such. Later, when you feel up to it, and it's Spring and summer and all, nice weather, get yourself out and about and with friends and family, join the YMCA or something, find a hobby you can do with a group of people, that would help immensely, I am sure. Just take it one day at a time! Often, after I lost my husband, I took myself out dining, sent myself flowers, bought myself Xmas gifts, when I felt sad, took myself to movies. Stayed busy fixing up the house and selling it - that was a year later. Recovered from knee replacement, and still had my big dog Tucker at the time. It gets better. Every day a little better. Marti
ReplyDeleteMarti--EVERYDAY GETS A BIT BETTER---Yes, I like that---Lynda
DeleteYou're so strong Lynda, you just don't realize it. You've taken care of everything for so long, and now you will still continue to do so. It's a different scenario now. I know that you will get through this, even if you don't think so now. Let your emotions release as they need to. Don't try to put on a brave face when you're not feeling it. Do what helps you gets you through the day. Know that you are in our prayers and we are all here to help you, only if it is virtually. Remember we are real persons behind these screens.
ReplyDeleteThank yu--- YU understand--- I never knew it would be so hard--Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda, Grief is a difficult process and it is different for everyone. Just a thought, you mentioned attending a church in Lakeville. Does the church have a grief support group? It might help to have others around who have been through this experience that you can talk to especially when the kids return to their own busy lives of with work and family. You are a strong woman and you will get through this, one step at a time. ba_coy from Sparkpeople
ReplyDeleteOh so nice to see yu again--Thank yu so much for writing--One step at a time--- hard tho-- lynda
DeleteId be surprised if you didn't cry. Cry....let it out.
ReplyDeleteNice to go out for breakfast.
Have you discussed moving back with Matt and with your daughter? They will be farther away and have been your biggest help.
When the time is right...look at what you'll need and is it available in Elliott Lake? Your time was busy with inside/outside of big house and caring for Fred. Do you have friends to call to do things with in EL, friends to offer rides to appointments, close medical care, food stores etc. or is some of that a distance away? Give it time. You couldn't find a place suitable in EL when you looked before. It sounds like you have a place in mind. The town may be the same but it will be "different" when you return alone.
You ARE strong but for now.. fake it. We all love and support you. We want what is best for you.
I truly understand the pull to go back to home to familiar. For us it won't work due to lack of medical care, transportation and shopping. Make sure you'll have what youll need for a move back.
Sushi and Lopez are there to listen and love. I can't imagine how difficult this is all alone. We only get today so take it a day at a time.
Much love, big hugs and prayers
Marge/St.Louis
Oh Marge--I think it will be hard really no matter where I am--but--I know Elliot Lake--- It is familiar--- Praying iot works out-Lynda
DeleteIsn't it you, Lynda, who has always told us we are stronger than we think we are? Well, the same is true of yourself! Hang in there. Every day a little better, building your new tomorrows! Of course it's a long road when everything changes, and there will be good days and bad days as the waves of emotion roll on. But you are loved, you are admired, and it's OK to lean on the people who are there for you!
ReplyDeleteaww Barb--We all are stronger than we believe--It is hell tho losing a partner-- Lynda
DeleteHi Brenda-- I cannot move right away as I have a lease on this apartment--I know Lakefield is easier to reach for Allison, but she does visit Elliot every summer anyway--- -- I so appreciate your points and advice--Lynda
ReplyDeleteGlad it’s a little better this morning. Awwww, of course you miss Fred terribly But glad you have Sushi and Lopez for company. And they are glad you’re there, too.
ReplyDeleteThat’s wonderful you had breakfast together. That’s good for the spirits.
Oh my dear, with all you’ve been through these last years, there is no question, you /ARE a strong woman. VEY strong. Never doubt that.
It is hard to adjust to such an unwanted change in life circumstances, but you’ll find a way to deal w/the change.
Elliot Lake is definitely your home, but take your time deciding what to do.
Grief is like a tsunami, I say. Some days are a little better than others, then there are those days when the wave of grief just comes crashing over us and we almost feel paralyzed. But . . . we get through it. . . because we’re STRONG.
Hugs and healing
Barb
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