That is so nice--"They lift others up"---
Everyday seems busy, but--yesterday was VERY busy--and my memory is not great-- It seems to --"literally" go---with the sadness--I have 2 calenders on the go right now--as I cannot remember from one day to the other, what I am supposed to do that day--It will be wonderful when this life of mine, returns to normal--if it ever does.--Is "memory loss" a part of the grieving process??--
A friend and I went out for dinner last evening-- I believe the whole town was at the same restaurant. We must find some place that is a bit quieter--However it really was wonderful to "eat with people"--
I could hear it raining ,n the night---and it seemed very windy.--"Fall Weather-"--I guess--- Lopez and I have not been out yet--
I read someone's comments --(yesterday)---on my blog--It seemed hurtful--but--I guess that is what I expose myself to , if I write-- not everyone can like or agree with my thoughts--made me sad--I questioned why I write at all?-- ----
I write I guess to support women-- Women hold this world up--- (my beliefs)--Women work very hard--- everyday----Women keep the children safe--women make a home for a family---Most women do the shopping--- When something goes wrong, it is the Women who try to fix it--as well as keep all the home fires burning--the children in school---I don't feel house wives get much recognition--so, I try to help them realize just how important they are--The men in a family are busy with their jobs-- financially supporting a family--but, it is the Woman who are really the heart of a family--- I never realized that until I was raising 5 people-(children)- as well as keeping a husband fed , and happy--and we really were a team-----I believe "Women make the world go round"-----Women just "DO IT"--- raise the children--feed the hubby--- and have faith that everything will work out for the best- and it isn't easy at times---
Good morning, Lynda! I look forward to your blog every day. I appreciate you sitting in the “blogging corner” to make it happen. That sweet little corner at your cute little place. It’s been raining in Ohio and we needed it so bad. No rain in weeks! What fun to go out to dinner with your friend. A quiet place may be nice to chat better. Did you go for ice cream? LOL. I hear that ice cream makes memory better. Can we just believe that? Haha!! Sending lots of love and hugs to you. Have a terrific Tuesday!
ReplyDeleteHy--LOLOL--No I did not go out for ice cream--LOL--But--Guess what?--I bought ice cream----LOL--Thank you for making me smile here--Lynda
DeleteMorning Lynda,
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your blogs every day. You are just putting into words how you are feeling, what you want to do, and how your day is going.
Don't take someone's comment to heart. It's ok to express how you are feeling. Don't let someone's comment bother you. You know what they say "opinions are like a**holes, everyone's got one". Lol. Just keep doing what you are doing. I appreciate you and your blogs!
Hugs,
Jackie
Oh Jackie--YU are so good to say that--Yes it upset Me--the comments--but-- If I am o continue writing, I must realize that everyones thoughts are their own and not everyone canot agree with my thoughts-- thank yu for writing-Lynda
DeleteGood morning, sis.
ReplyDeleteI am happy you enjoyed your evening out. I am sure it was good for both of you.
Also happy you encourage us to be strong.
Remember, though, nowadays many women work outside the home, too, to help with bills and supplies. Many men help more around the house just cuz with a full time job, their wives can't do it all.
It's a little different now in some households.
Then there's all of us older women trying to keep our own stuff going on and stay happy. It can be hard.
It's foggy outside today. The temp hasn't even reached 60F yet. It's due to be 73F later on.
I need to go to the UPS store to have my train tickets printed. I gave up my printer. It wouldn't even stay plugged in. I have tried several brands. As little as I print, I decided to use the UPS store. They only charge 25 cents a sheet.
More packing today. Woke up to kitty throw up. Do you ever do that?
I will do some sorting out of things today, floor cleaning, etc. I want it to look decent around here for the ladies coming in to care for Lucky while I'm gone.
I saved 2 memes!
I hope you have a less frantic and enjoyable day, Lynda. Remember to think happy thoughts when you can. {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
Good for yu -getting ready for yer trip--Happy thoughts--YEs--for sure!-Lynda
DeleteGlad you went out with a friend for dinner.I am sorry that eating alone is difficult for you. I kind of like being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, after a lifetime of cooking for my husband and family, but I understand that eating alone for you is just another reminder that your husband is no longer here with you. And yes, grief does affect memory and pretty much everything. Plus the fact that many of us are over 70 isn’t helping our memories either.😁
ReplyDeleteIt’s a rainy fall day here in Colorado. Hang in there, you are doing great! Blogging is your way of reaching out to the world and also dealing with life, so keep doing it if it makes you happy. Yes, sometimes you may feel like someone has said a negative thing, but I think it is probably how the comment is interpreted. I think the people responding to your remarks are usually trying to be helpful, so go with that. Susan/Colorado
HI Susan--=I do appreciate all the comments--Happy to hear from yu all-Lynda
DeleteGood morning Lynda, how nice to hear that you and a friend went out to dinner. I know what you mean about a noisy restaurant making it difficult to have a conversation. Your blog is your blog, and it's important for you to stay true to yourself and say what you're feeling. Some advice and comments should be taken with a grain of salt. What you are experiencing is your story to tell and and no one else's.
ReplyDeleteIt is going to be 92 degrees here on So.California today. I continue to pray for Fall like weather. We desperately need rain because wildfires are always a threat.
I hope your day goes well and that you enjoy a bowl of ice cream.
Maureen from California
92 degrees --We will not see that for a very long time--LOL--Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda, it's Kathy. I'm glad you were able to go out with a friend for dinner. I think if I was alone, I'd be less likely to cook just for myself. At least not the meals that I cook now. I am healing. Not real sure what I did to my back but I had to get the walker out of the basement just to get around the house. And my dear husband has been fetching things for me so I don't have to walk too much. I am in at least 50% less pain - I guess I just pulled something while I was in the garden on Thursday. We are finally seeing some more fall-like weather too. It feels good to sleep with the window open a bit! Yes, I believe we women do hold up the family. After my children's father left us I realized that I now had to be the disciplinarian of the family - that was his role and he often took it too far. So I had to be the soft parent, making sure every child was where they were suppose to be at all times, every birthday was celebrated, and meals were prepared weekly so they could put things in the oven and we could eat when we got home from work. Their dad lived off my income for over 8 years, and then left us because "he couldn't take it anymore". So I had to be strong. Women do what has to be done! And you are one of the strongest women I have ever met! And at this stage of your life, you get to do whatever you want to do! Take care and have a wonderful day!
ReplyDeleteKathy--I did not know that yer husband left yu to deal with life--Yu are a strong person to live thru that=--Lynda
DeleteThank you Lynda. We are both strong women and can be proud of that - even when things don't work out the way we think they should! I'm now seeing that strength in my own children!!!
DeleteSo proud of you that you went out to eat w/a friend! You’ll find the right place to go where it’s a little more quiet. You went, though. That’s the important part.
ReplyDeleteYes, women DO hold this world up! And no matter what, you are expressing YOU thoughts and you are allowed to, even if someone doesn’t agree w/you. YOU know your family. You will know what’s right or . . . not. ‘
Hang in there. You’re doing just fine. You are stronger than you think you are!~
hugs
barb
Hi Barb--I bot thru it all-- just have to han in here--LOL-Lyn da
DeleteHi Lynda: This is your blog and if people don't like what you say they don't have to read it! Glad you went out to dinner with a friend. Makes the evening nicer for you. Hope you get to meet with the grief counsellor and go to some meetings soon. At least see how others cope with some things in their life. Can't hurt. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteHi Brenda--Yes a grief person will help--<Lynda
DeleteSorry about comments that hurt. Sometimes we can be extra sensitive and can go back later and it doesn't seem so bad... but boy howdy if it hits us at a low moment!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you write and uplift other women! We really do have to be in one another's corners, don't we? So, just shake it off, if you can manage it, and if not, blank it out. It says more about the commenter than it does about you, and sometimes you just have to have a place to vent. I like to think our blogs are a safe place where we can "let our hair down", too.
Hugs and encouragement heading your way, my friend!
Encouragement is much appreciated Barb--Thank yu-Lynda
DeleteI am sorry someone felt they had to be critical/hurtful, AND not even sign their name. I had to go back to read it. I forget what it said. I will look again. Yes, your blog is your blog. Write whatever is on your heart. I used to belong to my Sparkpeople team and would write about my day, along with reading about theirs, it felt that someone cared, and so I wrote. But now, there is nowhere really where I could write now, where anyone would want to read it. I mean, not enough people know me who would read it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, those that understand will understand, and those that don't can just say nothing if they don't agree - isn't that the saying, if you can't say something nice, say nothing at all???
It could be that you have depression, have you ever thought that? You might want to try some antidepressants, if so. I've been on three of them for over, what, 20 years? Well, a lot of years. It keeps me sane and mostly in a good mood. I get angry sometimes, and sometimes I get a little sad and/or lonely, but mostly I feel happy enough. I take meds for bipolar type 2. Anyway, that's my say for today, LOL. When my mom was elderly and living in a home, we kept her on antidepresants and anti anxiety meds so that she would be happy enough, and she was - she had dementia.
I'm glad you went out to eat with a friend. I don't have any friends here in Newark. I moved from Columbus, and I have not made any friends here, there seems to be no one who is similar to me that I would want to be friends with, I'm picky, haha. Since I broke up with my boyfriend, it IS rather lonelier than it used to be here, but I have my dog. My two friends from Columbus are happy enough to drive here maybe twice a year to have lunch with me. My other Columbus friend is just too busy with her own life to visit much, plus we had rather a falling out about a year ago b/c she did not like my boyfriend, and I told her if she can't hang with us or say something nice about him, don't bother coming 'round, LOL
Marti
Marti I have Lopez also--even tho he is a bad dog--LOL--Lynda
DeleteP.S. It's Marti again. I don't mean that we kept my mom on meds to quiet her, she DID have depression, and she DID have anxiety, she always had had those. These were meds for dementia, basically, which could also be used for depression. I don't mean we drugged her up, haha.
ReplyDeleteJust stopping in to say hi and check how you're doing. Our weather has been about the same as yours, but we're getting rain and will be off and on the rest of the week. My heart still goes out to you. It's hard, very hard to accept all the changes that you've had in your life. Every day you seem to be getting a little stronger. Each day will be what it is and I wish you well. I hear you with the calendar business. I also have 2 calendars going, as I can't remember from one day to another, especially with all the doctor appointments, dentists appts, etc. Seems like things weren't like this years ago. I have decided to join a gym and take water aerobatics. Winter is coming soon, so walking every day won't be an option. I hope you figure out what is right for you. You'll find you're new niche, I know you will.
ReplyDeleteYu have calendars also--LOLOL--- Me too!!!! LOL--Lynda
DeleteSo sorry you were hurt by what someeone commented but as was said, maybe they were in need of the opportunity to vent a little and it may have been cathartic for her. And, no I did not write it but do go as Anonymous because of other people who I don't want to interact with. Everyone handles grief differently and in different stages. No lives are the same and maybe the discussion was good for her. Hope you have a happier week ahead.
ReplyDeleteYes everyone is entitled to their own opinion--I know--Lynda
DeleteLynda, Please delete (ignore) the hurtful post from your mind. That person has no clue what they’re about. Unfortunately there are people who take pleasure in hurting others. Keep being and sharing your beautiful self 🌞 Carol in FL
ReplyDeleteCarol=--so good o hear from yu--Yes Everyone has their own opinion and that is OK--LOL--Lynda
DeleteA person who willingly follows your blogs criticizes you? My goodness! They do not need to read your blogs if they are going to get their feathers ruffled so easily. I have been reading your blogs since Spark, and I have enjoyed every one of them. You seem like a wonderful person who has much wisdom, experience, compassion, and kindness. Don't let one idiot get you down, as you are loved by many. Gina in New Jersey.
ReplyDeleteGina--hGU are so good--Yes Everyone has their own opinion--I realize that!--SO so good to finally meet yu Gina-Lynda
DeleteRD in AZ here I do not feel that the person who made such a rude hurtful comment was correct when you would say that your parents showed up at dinner time I felt as if you were saying how happy you were that you got to have them enjoy a meal with you and enjoy their company I guess it is all in the way you see or read things when I lived closer to my grandpa he always came over for dinner I loved it when my dad was older I always took dinner to him It was an honer to have them eat what I cooked and I am sure that you felt the same way I also feel that if your family did not want you there they would say something just keep doing your own thing and make the best life for yourself
ReplyDeleteI do not feel that you are neglecting the piano either
Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending. Jim Henson
ReplyDeleteHi, Lynda - please be assured that memory loss is definitely a huge part of the grieving process. You have undergone trauma in your loss, regardless of how expected it was due to Himself’s age and condition. The part of your brain that deals with fear is mass-producing all sorts of stress hormones, while temporarily shutting down the part of the brain that releases the happy hormones. I promise it gets better. You will laugh and smile again. I’m praying that the grief group you have coming up will help you understand that you are not alone. And while I didn’t have lots of children and wasn’t married for as many years, I did lose my best friend and the other half of me after twenty-five years of marriage. And twelve years later I still miss him, but I also have a very fulfilling life.
ReplyDeleteI meant to not be anonymous but I forgot to change it. Sorry. Love from me, here in Northwest Florida.
ReplyDeleteseason, my thyroid has been wonky and hair loss is real! Have my levels checked @ the end this month, My thyroid levels do change w/the change of seasons, but caregiving has ratched hair loss up for sure.
ReplyDeleteAs for crying, all I can say is that you have been through SOoooo much this last year, and you are entitled to tears! Don’t feel bad about that. You are doing something healthy. ((HUGS))
Good you have the cleaning ladies there. So helpful.
Well, hope that you and Lopez can find a safe space while the ladies clean.
hugs and blessings
barb
1cd
Hi Lynda, this is Betsy and not sure why it shows me as anonymous...but wanted to let you know that I read you a lot but don't comment a lot - and that comment from a stranger yesterday was not kind at all. Nor helpful. You are hurting a lot and your life has been turned upside down - moving, then moving again, losing your husband of many years and this on top of care taking for many years. You are correct that women do a LOT. As you have shown. I guess I feel that you don't need to feel bad for feeling sad, or lonely or however you feel. I think many of us grew up with the "chin up" and "be strong" which is ok but let's not ignore that grief is experienced by all of us differently. I went into a bad depression after my father died. It took awhile to come out of it. and I still miss my parents and they've been gone since 2013 and 2017. You must be so tired as well, from all of it. In my opinion, I'd think your kids would welcome you over at the house. What's one more plate? And I guess that I went over to my parents when I was in grad school a long time ago - to do laundry and then they'd ask me to stay for dinner. Those times with them as an adult are very precious to me. I would hope your kids would welcome that as well - especially since they lost their dad so recently. I"m sorry to hear that your other two don't stay in touch. Their loss. Well I'm going on and on but just wanted to send good thoughts your way. It sounds like you are making efforts in re establishing your life. It's ok to go slow. I know you are getting lots of opinions. Another is to visit your library if you have one close. Not sure how it is where you are - I volunteer at ours - and there is a ton of stuff that's free - movies, ebooks, classes, etc. And that might be another way for you to enjoy things. Even volunteer there if it interests you. So sending you a virtual hug. - Betsy
ReplyDelete