This is your reminder---
Good morning---It is a very snowy morning here in Lakefield---I even was out shovelling off the car and away from the vehicle--The owner of the property is charging up his truck, and will plough soon ----
I DO MOT HAVE TO SHOVEL----Holy Cow!
Hopefully to-day, I can work in the computer room here and try to make sense of the mess--
-Our daughter will be up from Ohio sometime next week--and she needs to sleep in this room--
So, I continue to miss the 3 boys left in Elliot Lake---, but , no word from them--Someone told me to leave them alone and let them contact me--but they haven't--Maybe they never will-- They do not have any respect , I guess, for me--angry that we moved---It does make me shred tears---which doesn't help the situation does it??--What do you think?--Should I call them--or --just give them space, to digest our move----??????
So, the boxes are fewer --- but---mostly now, the ones left are full of children's pictures , over the years-and where on earth do I put these pictures?
Himself continues to improve--- His biggest problem now, is his hearing--- We have an appointment for new Hearing Aids , on the 28th--and , in the meantime I must get us on a list , for a Doctor--
I need to heal from not receiving any apologies for the chaos we went thru in the move to here ---I wish I had had more help getting out of our house---- I figure we all need to heal from things that we Women never get apologies for--
So, Did you see Santa last night, on his sleigh-?-Is he bringing you sugar and spice and everything nice?
I hope so--- just "happiness"---would be ever so nice!
and ---- Watch out for that jolly old man---!
I think I would call them and update on how much better their dad is. And how glad you don’t have to shovel.
ReplyDeleteI CAN CALL THEM--HAVEN'T YET THO-- lynda
DeleteHi Lynda, YOU ARE THE AWESOME ONE. Don't forget it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the 3 boys, that's tough. I hear your pain. Do what will relieve your pain. I was hurt for you when son would drive by when you were shoveling. I was also hurt for you when sons who received snow blower didn't come and do driveway for you, and when restaurant son charged you for your food. That just breeds resentment and hurts you.
Holding onto resentments only hurts you dear friend. I understand, I really do. I get the cold shoulder, cut off, from my only son now and then when I displease him. I continue to be me and have to accept this is how things are. Nothing stays the same. Nothing. I assume you heard nothing on your BD. It's just hurtful
Love them, pray for good things for them and their families. Love you Lynda. This is your life...they are living their's. The disrespect to their father is not how you raised them. Be grateful for the caring son and daughter. Its the boys issue, not yours. I'll pray for you. God will handle this one.
Sounds luke you miss snow shoveling LOL as your out cleaning car lol. It's all OK.
So at some point you might be moving to the senior villas with garages? For now too much came with you and there is nowhere to put it. I suppose kid pictures could be digitized? I'm not sure what to do. The only solution to all the STUFF, I can come up with., is rent a storage unit sigh. I know you'll be happier when your home is organized. Right now all you see is chaos and work. It will get better. Distract yourself with your piano. I'm so very happy you have your husband back. That's fantastic.
Have a great day. Santa comes tonight. Those were fun times when kids believed in Santa.
Hugs and much love
Marge/St.Louis
Oh Marge--Yu were hurting for me??-- Holy cow!--Yes I remember Son#1 driving by and peeping--no--nothing on my Birthdy--I do not even think thy know it was my Birthday--Yu remember all that??-- Sad eh??--Matt has a storage unit--- so , some stuff has had to go in there--It was fun times when kids believed in Santa--Yu are truily amazing coz yu know how I feel--sad that I do not hear from the 3 left in Elliot Lake--Thank yu for understanding--Is this normal in these times?--It sure wasn't when I was growing up--Its Christmas eve-- Thank u for writing Marge--Yu made my day-Lynda
DeleteMerry Christmas Eve to you, Fred, Lopez and Sushi. It is indeed sad that you've not heard from your three sons to see how the move went and how their Dad is adjusting. Lynda, as far as calling them, do whatever brings the greatest peace to your heart. Your peace is really all that matters. Today you must gift yourself with playing the piano. Forget the boxes for today and tomorrow because your deserve some downtime.
ReplyDeleteAs far as getting the room ready for your daughter, maybe wait for her to arrive and she can help. You need to realize that when help is available you should take advantage of it. I hope you enjoy a peace filled day.
Maureen from California
Happy Christmas to yu--- Things work out--in the end-- I guess--
DeleteLynda, I'm so, so sorry about those that are left behind, and that it perhaps caused a family rift between you guys and #2 Son, but gosh, they don't seem to be worrying about YOU guys at all. You made the move that was best for YOU GUYS, not for them. And what did they ever really do for YOU? It's them that has the sore feelings. I say, let them contact YOU. Or, perhaps, just call to wish them a Merry Christmas, and leave it at that. I wish I could make it all better for you, but I can't. My love to you! - Marti
ReplyDeleteNo Marti--It is what it is--sorta sad --- Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I so enjoy your blogs and thanks for the reminder that we're all AWESOME! Sometimes it's hard to remember. I completely understand how you feel about your children. I feel the same way about mine sometimes - they only call when THEY need something! Did any one of them think I might need some help while recovering from surgery? Or even think to ask me how I was doing? That would be a big NO! I think it's that generation. They are full of their own business and see us as strong - like we always were when they were children! Only you can decide what you want to do about reaching out! I'm sure you will make the right decision because you are AWESOME! I'm also sure you will have that room ready for when your daughter comes!! I'm amazed at how much you can do when you set your mind to it. And soon all this will just be a memory as you settle into your new space. And what a blessing, himself is happy!!! That should make your life a whole lot better. Take care and Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteHI KATHY--- I do not understand the grown kids thinking either--Hard eh??--I have not contacted them --yet---- I do not think they will contact us-- wait and see I guess-- But it is Xmas----Hugs Kathy--- Lynda
DeleteMerry Christmas Eve!
ReplyDeleteMy grandma used to say that kids walk on your feet when they're toddlers and walk on your heart when they're grown. So true
Let them make the first move ~ call ~ contact...come for a visit whatever. Karma is a mean task master. Do not kiss their owie and make them feel better. They owe you!!! Also, their children see how they treat you and give to their parents the same treatment.
Merry Christmas to you and Himself. 🎅🏼🎄🎁
Your Gramma is so right--Jeanne-- Good to hear from yu too--Lynda
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ReplyDeletehi Lynda; You are the awesome one and don't forget you it. A lot of sons are like that so don't take it too personal. I remember my brother would never return our moms phone calls unless he wanted some money or something. They're not all like that but a lot are and some are like Matt and will help out. As tomorrow is Christmas, I think you can call them maybe in the afternoon. Give them a chance to call you first. And then after Christmas, I'd wait awhile before calling again. Play the piano tonight to help you feel better. Hugs Brenda
Hi Brenda--The Piano tuner will be here Xmas Day--amazing eh??-- I haven't called the boys --hoping they might call us--Nice to hear from yu--Lynda
DeleteOh my, I'm actually reading this on the day you posted!! I'm caught up. :D
ReplyDeleteWell, yay, you!! No shoveling snow; the landlord deals with it. Having to get it off of your car probably felt like a trifling affair.
As for the room your daughter is to sleep in ... if the bed is made for her to sleep in it will be enough. She knows you just barely moved in and have much to do. Maybe she will help you a little bit. Is she staying just for a day or so, or for a few?
Your sons ... contact them if you feel like it, let them contact you if that seems best. You're the only one who can make that decision. As an outsider, their treatment of you makes me madder than hops. They did not help you when you obviously needed the help, so their uproar over you moving to where things would be easier and your son and wife were so lovingly WANTING to help you and have you near ... I just shake my head. Had they been loving, concerned, helping as they were able perhaps you'd have been able to stay. (But of course, you must give yourself a little time and distance to think on how that might have played out ... Himself and you still in the big house, his possible dementia trajectory, and how your health would fare with the constant work and pressure even with some help from the three sons there.) I'm sure every person here could tell you of the hurt and heartache inflicted by those we love. Finally each of us has to decide how best to handle it -- protecting ourselves from harm and from purposely hurting others. And this has been the hard one for me over the past few years ... forgiving the ones who hurt me so deeply, still loving them, but moving on, healing and building a life I can love with the time I have left. Still working on it. <3
What will you do tomorrow on Christmas? My kids and I will open presents when they get home from Las Vegas, where they went this morning to see my fellow mother in law. (I stayed home as someone has to take care of the fur-babies.) Then my daughter will go to bed and sleep in preparation for her 'graveyard' shift. My son-in-law will probably go for a bike ride and play with new games/gadget-puzzle games. And we will eat leftovers.
Hi amazing you!---- pretty special person that you are---No, I had to get out of that house---and it has been a good move for Himself--- work for me but still better than the other place--- Too bad I couldn't find what I needed in town there as to apartments--but then I would not have had Matt and his wife--so--I guess it was the best scenario-- One never knows eh ?-- Once we are unpacked I believe this will be a good place--We will soon find out--- So, life goes on I guess --Hugs to yu--Thank yu for writing--Lynda
DeleteI scanned through the comments and you know, I'm with those that said call if you want, but don't feel you have to do so. I liked the suggestion of updating them on how much better their dad is and how good it is not to have to shovel out! I'm sure they would be relieved to know it.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and Merry Christmas!
RD in AZ here I agree with others the 3 sone that were so near and yet so far when you needed the help and now they are hurt wow did they jump in and help no not really and they did not step up and help find a place that would have been easier for you to take care of if you call them fine that is for you if you do not that is also fine I would most likely call to wish any grand kids a Merry Christmas and then the parents they are all big boys and can " pull up their big boy pants and grow into their age I know that I have to call my daughter on Christmas because she will not call me but I simply say just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and I love you then I got to go and do my thing Short sweet and to the point
ReplyDeleteHugs sweet Lady you are amazing
Hi Lynda! I hope Allison will help you lots. Reach out to the sons to wish them a Merry Christmas and then leave it be for a bit. You are happy near Matt. It was hectic in Ohio today. Got new windows and it made the house so cold and one guy dropped a drill and broke some tile. Crazy day! We made crab legs tonight for our nephew. I will cook a ham dinner tomorrow. I am whipped. Lol Chin up to us! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteSis, I swear I commented. It's been a while since this happened...but my comment doesn't appear here!
ReplyDeleteYou know about me and boxes mostly old photos.
I hope you have a place to donate your unwanted clothing.
Gosh, I wish I remembered what I said in the comment that's missing.
I love that you don't have to shovel. Cleaning off the car is enough!
I told of the Marie Callendar's meals I bought myself for a little treat for today and tomorrow, commented how happy I was that all three of your brood seem to like their new home, and said to just call your sons if it's necessary. If you do call, don't bawl them out. They will come around eventually...maybe when their sister comes up. {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
ANYWAY__NICE TO See yu here again-- Hugs my dear friend-Lynda
DeleteI can't add anything to what the others have said; it's just so sad that they are giving you the "deep freeze" over your choosing to move to an area that in the long run will be better for both you and Himself. I'm wondering, though, if they're also freezing out Son #2 over his role in the decision-making and move? Or is it just you they're targeting? I'd like to think they will put on their big boy pants and stop acting like 2-year-olds having tantrums!
ReplyDeleteSoooo awesome that you don’t have to shovel that snow~!~!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is . . . you and Himself are in a better environment for you both now and have the support of DS #2 and your DIL. As for the 3 sons you left in Lake Elliot, well . . . they are behaving in a disrespectful, hurtful manner and really . . . it does no good to have any resentful or hurt emotions, because it won’t change the situation and only make things worse for you. I guess I’d just leave a message saying how much better DH is and how much easier it is for you! I cannot say their behavior is normal . . . but it is what it is. You are doing what is the very best for you and DH. That is MOST important.
Glad DD will be there to visit too.
Love and blessings and Merry Christmas to y’all!
And another thought . . . When my parents lived in Illinois and we lived here in WI after moving, WE were down there every weekend. 2 hrs. drive each way. My brother lived about 5 miles from them and . . . maybe there once/month. When we had to move Mom and Dad up with us in Wisconsin, my brother saw them maybe 3 times in 2 yrs. But you know what. . . I have NO regrets for helping my parents. None @ all. Someday he may.
Hugs
Barb
1cd
Merry Christmas, Barb!
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