Living with a retiree is not it's all it's cracked up to be! --I've heard it called, "The Golden Years"-so, I figured my Himself and I would spend a lot of the day, telling each other how much we love each other---going on cruises--visiting the Grandchildren---- that kind of stuff.
Well, the Pandemic came and is still here--- groceries , and the necessities of life all went up in price--travelling was not too safe, and, keeping money in the bank, became harder and harder----AND, amidst all of that, Himself retired-- HE STAYED HOME---- WITH ME--ALL DAY---EVERY DAY-----
At first it was kinda fun--I did not have to Uber this man to work-- He helped me vacuum-- He even cooked--a bit!-
But a few years have passed, and this 92 year old man , who used to tell all his patients how to be healthy, missed running the clinic, and decided to run the house--MY HOUSE TOO--the problem was, himself thought of me as "the worker"---and, well, you know, he was the boss!-
Oh Lord love a Duck! All those years which have gone by, raising so many children, I thought we had the perfect marriage----So this is where "my crazy idea" began to creep in----
I decided that Himself, being , "of an age", needs a person (ME!)- to take care of him---- AND the house---AND I do trust that , that crazy idea is the right idea at this time.
---- It isn't going over very well with Himself, who is a very stubborn person who feels he is usually RIGHT."
And, I thought I was the only one in the whole wide world , living with this problem--
I heard that because of the Pandemic, and others staying home together--their "STAYCATION"--- well, similar stuff is going on--
I guess we all need to walk more-_get away from each other--sorta--At least I shall try that! I'll have to let yu know how it goes.
t!
Yes, it is hard and according to my sister being with a doctor is even harder because well, it takes a special person to be one and that doesn't usually help in life skills. Hubby and I had the same trouble but we got in the habit of taking separate walks for about an hour, then each of us have an hour at home to ourselves and an hour out to ourselves - so far that keeps us from getting to impatient. Of course as soon as I step into the kitchen - he is right behind me and that doesn't set well with me, but we are working one it. Hugs and Sparkles
ReplyDeleteIt’s hard to get used to both of you being home together all day. I retired early at 59 and had 5 years of being home alone when my husband retired at 65. We are both still alive so we have gotten used to it. We do things together and things apart from each other as well. The pandemic upset everything but I have to say that being with someone was so much better than being alone. I’m hoping to travel to see my sister but we will have to drive as there is no way I’m getting on an airplane any time soon. Also have to decide if we will go to Florida in February as their cases are still bad and the vaccination rate is so much lower than ours. Oh well there is time to make decisions and it’s nice to enjoy the summer when we can see friends right now. Have a good day! 👍
ReplyDeleteSounds like lots of adjusting for both of you. Thanks for sharing with others, like me, so we might be a bit prepared when this time comes.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite jokes about compromise in a marriage is:
ReplyDeleteA friend and I were talking about compromise in marriage. He said “In my marriage, my wife makes all the small decisions and I make all the big decisions.”
“We have yet to have any big decisions.”
LOL
DeleteHi here from spark trying to add you? I am here on this as posey440
ReplyDeleteYep, that cruise/vacation, travel...wishful thinking!! Now we watch our dollars and care for grands! Our travel was to see the elderly parents, but now they're all gone. We try to keep up the pace and keep things rolling. So glad you're making this home now!
ReplyDeleteHave a great Monday
ReplyDeleteI have my get away spot in the house . . . my office that has my computer, my sewing machine and a futon. If he comes in which he rarely does it is for a purpose. I also have my exercise room downstairs which he rarely comes in since exercise isn't his thing. The rest of the time we get along great. . . .always have. We just need a space to call our our. He has his garage and basement with his tools and I have my spaces . . . works great for us.
ReplyDeleteOh my. My Himself is not as old as your Himself, but . . . he still tries to be the boss in my domain. Ahem, dude, I got this! LOL When I need advice, I'll ask for it. Meantime, help w/the dishes, vacuuming and be pleasant. 3 rules, shouldn't be too hard, right!?! LOL OH well, those are the times you have to remember what you saw in them to begin with and led you to marriage. Find those characteristics, and grab on. And I've learned, even with my hearing helpers in, I can have selective hearing, HEE HEE.
ReplyDeleteHUGS and blessings. It is not easy.
Oh yes, it is hard for those of Himself’s generation to not be in charge, plus there is a personality change that come in to play. And you have to figure it all out, how to respond. You don’t want to “rock the boat”…it is not easy.
ReplyDeleteLive one of those stubborn retirees myself. He spent 20 years in the military. I do know what you are dealing with!!!
ReplyDeleteSharon Cyr (ShaKaCy on SP)
Thank you for sharing. I am not there yet, but I can see my hubby and I on two different ideas of retirement :)
ReplyDeleteWe have learned to compromise. He does have activities that take him away for a bit, like his golf league. I look forward to his golf league for my time. Also when winter comes we do honey do projects together and we also do things together. We read together, watch movies together. He goes to bed early and I stay up late, so I always have my "me" time. It took a bit to accomplish this, so now we both have our "me" times. Him in the morning and me at night.
ReplyDeleteMy first timer as a blogger Lynda. Trying to get it right.
ReplyDeleteAfter 14 years of retirement together we are still married and I tribute that to the Man Shed and the Escape Hatch - my sewing room( well three rooms to be honest) - He has a 50ft shed,
Having time apart for your own things is so important :) hugs
ReplyDeleteI look back on my grandparents as the example. After he got back from WWII, they started taking separate vacations... she with her churchy friends, he with his boy scout friends... it gave them enough of a break, with each of them heading off solo once a year! We all have to make adjustments as life stages change around us!
ReplyDeleteHope you had a good Monday, and have a great Tuesday ahead.
I found you again and I read all that I have missed your sweet himself will get over wanting to be the boss and he will just go back to watching tv so glad that Sweet Tess is still with you
ReplyDeleteBeth (bmosko2) here. I am the one who retired to get my husband on a healthier track. Then someone started giving orders and it isn't me. That went over like a lead balloon. I have to remember he can't do all the things he used to and that contributes to his grumpy times. I also let him know that giving orders or being snappy with me will not work in his favor. You will work this out between the two of you. It also helps both parties involved realize you are equals in this retirement/pandemic thing, I am working on this in my house as well. Keeping both of you and Tess, also, in my prayers and in my heart.
ReplyDeleteI have my spots (the Pool) and my office. He has his, the rest of the house. If the office door is closed is a signal to leave me alone. He also has his signals. He does the cooking, I do the shopping. I feed and doctor the cats, he empties the litter boxes. We try to play to our strengths, and try to adapt as things change.
ReplyDeleteYes Role reversal is quite interesting. I am happy to say that my wife and I try to share the home duties, however I never do them right. But I try. We will just learn to adapt as we need to do to survive.
ReplyDeletePower struggle is real. Take long walks....to get away and for health. We must look our best for the Queen!
ReplyDeleteHimself is the boss...of himself, but of course, you can't tell him that! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI remember my mom telling my dad that she was not his grunt! (The term for one supervised in his field of work.)
ReplyDeleteMEN, YA CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM AND WE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM. MY MOTHER USED TO SAY WHEN SHE WAS FRUSTRATED "WAIT ON ME MOMMA" TO MY DAD. WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED YRS AND SOME DAYS ARE A LOT LONGER THEN OTHERS. KEEP THE FAITH LYNDA
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