Himself has not been right--acting pretty awful--- totally unlike the person I married----We don't know what he has--I call it "Old Timers"---It is probably some form of Dementia--It is always worse at night--
Another problem is, that he cannot hear --anything--so, what he does hear, confuses him--I think!
It is not a good thing for a person to get--It seems to be the hardest on the spouse-some of the grown kids accept it-- some refuse to believe it so don't come out--some blame the spouse-- say it is her or his fault--
I know life will never be the same , living with a person with "Old Timers"-(my name for it--Yu see, he refuses to do all the tests that have been ordered on him)---- But does it really matter what we call it?---There is a problem and I have to deal with it--
So, some days really are a challenge--for me--- It does help me to blog---to try to make light of it--to hear other people's problems--
So, that's my story---taking care of someone who puts you down-----telling myself that these actions are not really him--forgiving him, and trying to lead a fairly normal life, always not allowing ""Stuff" to get me down!-----
The lady where I used to do my laundry, had a husband like that, one night he just became violent, he had strength like she had never seen in him, the poor woman was nearly killed, the police and ambulance had a hard time taking him away. Be on your guard.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you. Stubborn old timers- yep. Do have a plan to preserve you safety, Sad but true. My friend was taking care of her mother and had daily encounters of belligerence and occasionally physical outbursts, eventually she had to admit her to a memory care unit, It was sad. Himself still recognizes the family and you? Perhaps communicating in writing would be helpful. Hearing loss is also a big challenge. My mother has hearing aids and refuses to wear them, so I communicate with messages, it has created less misunderstandings,
ReplyDeleteWhat is Himself afraid of with the testing. As a Dr I would think he would understand that the testing will come with possible solutions, It may not fix the problem, but it may help relieve some of the anxiety, Keeping you in my prayers dear lady,
I so hope things get better!
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear hubby is not doing well again. Thoughts are with you
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry for you and Himself. He is no longer a doctor, the disease makes him be like a small kid, common sense is gone. Have you looked into where he will have to go next already? This needs to be figured out before. When you have time to think. His doctor should be guiding you as to where he goes next. Seriously……What if you hurt yourself falling, who would take him in? Your sons, probably not. Check it out, please, for both of your sakes. Please. Rough times…😢😢😢
ReplyDelete(((((HUGS))))) Yes, for sure not being able to hear right definitely causes confusion which does NOT help dementia/confusion. **SIGH** Sorry you are dealing with this.
ReplyDeleteAs difficult and very hard as it is, it would be a good idea to have your plans in place for his care if it should be needed if you can’t do it for one reason or another. I had to do that w/my parents. Visited possible places that would be suitable for them so I wasn’t scurrying around in the midst of a crisis trying to made a decision.
You have many hugs and prayers. It is not easy!
HUGS
Barb
1crazydog
Hugs Lynda. You have my support and admiration from afar. Keep your positive attitude and laugh as much as you can. Play your piano. Take care of YOU.
ReplyDeleteHope things get better. My grandmother who weighed about 90 lbs. almost killed my aunt with her came. so you need to really be aware of what he could do. We all support you and thank god you have such a positive attitude and are able to laugh sometimes. You really need to talk to someone who can give you professional advice about how to handle these situations. Please see if you can find a doctor or someone from the Alzheimer's society can help/talk situations over. with you. Keep smiling!
ReplyDeleteHugs and hang in. I do hope you get some respite... you may not be able to do this "all by yourself" forever! Others have put up the warnings to be on your guard, I'm just sending waves of love and support.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a lovely lady, Lynda! I am glad you blogging helps you. Your blogging helps me every day! Thank you for taking the time to do it. Sorry you have hectic days with himself. I wish I knew more about it to help or give ideas. Thankful for you in Ohio!:) Hugs!
ReplyDeleteawww--yu help me too --just by telling me that yu read the blogs-- Thank yu so very much-Lynda
Delete❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Lynda. This has to be so very hard on you - trying to keep everything going with little help or cooperation. I wish I could help in some way but I can't even imagine how challenging this is for you. Hang in there and lean on us when you need to!
ReplyDeleteLynda, I’ve enjoyed your blog for years, even though I’ve never commented. I really feel for you. Look after yourself, in the midst of all this. There is a thing called “Sundowning” that unsettled many with dementia in the evenings. I’ll try to paste the Mayo Clinic link. Listen to the excellent advice many have given you. Look after yourself, too.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/expert-answers/sundowning/faq-20058511
As one who just got her mother in long term care in a secure home I know how hard it gets. Get the doctor to submit a form to the Health Dept that puts a Care Coordinator on your husband's case. She will get help for you in home, put on the list for a care home when it is needed and assess your hubby regularly and get you more help. Keep reaching out to the CC until you get all the help you need. You don't need to do it alone.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what everyone is saying. You do need to come up with plan B when you can no longer take care of him. And you need to do it soon. Too bad he won't do the test but he is like a little kid and is scared and figures if he doesn't know what is wrong nothing is wrong. The sad part is that if they could figure out what is wrong there might be a lot they can do to help both of you.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.
It is not him but what has taken his mind over...I am so sorry because I know how hard this is for you....
ReplyDelete