I have started over--it is a new day--with sunshine ---and himself does not remember all that took place yesterday--He does remember going for the covid shot, but not all the "shenanigans" that went with it! I guess that is a good thing, ----for him---perhaps not too good for me!----So--I have made some changes--I will never take him for his medical procedures alone again--In fact, I will never take him at all-- Some one else must help me out there-- Hopefully one of the boys might-- He would never treat them like he does me--
So, enough said about that!-- I guess it is a learning curve-- I still am having trouble believing , that he is going thru all this-- that is "My" problem---so, I find it difficult to ask for help--
Anyway, son#3 came out yesterday, and set up some hoses for us and fixed the leak in the pipes--Bless his heart--- I now see robins hopping all over the grass--I also have heard--then spotted , sandhill cranes, flying over our house -- so nice to see them return- they make just a terrible squawking noise--and their wing spread is huge--
Little Lopez and big Beau have both been out-- but I will take them out again soon--Lopez is going to have to be removed from this "home situation", whenever I have to go to town-- Son#3 says to take him in to his house --- that, he will leave his door open for me and to bring him in there, in his crate and I just pick him up when I have to go home-----Lopez has developed a fear of Himself's cane and barks viciously at himself----I must accept there is a problem there--
Sometimes it is hard to be kind to a jerk but it also can change their mood when you are. Son#3 had a good idea to leave Lopez at his place when you are in town. That way Himself won't get frustrated with Lopez and Lopez will be safe from the cane. You do need help when you take himself any place. It would be easier if the clinics had wheelchairs available for use rather than having to try and get a heavy one out of the trunk. Take care of yourself! Enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteThey do have a wheelchair by the door-- but--every Tom, Dick and Henry use it-- I never realized how difficult it is to get him in a place--- mostly its his attitude--lynda
DeleteI wish things would be easier for you two……wonder why the medical establishment will not aid you in any way? Here he would at least have been put on a waiting list for assisted living. So very tough on you!
ReplyDeleteHe wants to stay here in his home-- I believe that is the problem--but-I reAlly do not know what is the problem--maybe its me not accepting his disability-Lynda
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ReplyDeleteLynda, you have a very tough situation..
ReplyDeleteBut I hear some action plans that should help. Yes, you need help taking himself for appts and yes Lopez, if he can't stay in his crate at your house, needs to go elsewhere. Of course himself doesn't want to move BUT you have to be strong and do what is best for both of you. I understand as I'm in the same boat. You cannot keep doing all the outside work that big place requires plus the inside work. Hoping the right place comes along and a buyer for your place.
Glad Spring is finally at your house minus the black flies. It sounds like the boys are being more helpful GOOD.
Enjoy today. Play your piano.
Hugs
To-morrow we are looking at a House-Hope it works out--a bunglow---Lynda
DeleteBoy do I remember the wheelchair and the walker days. It was up to me to get them in the back of the car and it was really hard work. Same with getting them back out once at the appointment place. Then came the backseat driver type comments about how I was going about getting these things into the car. When the backseat driver could not help without causing further damage to his leg or hip. It was so hard to keep my cool, not say anything (because it'd be used to argue further) and just keep trying my best. I understood he was frustrated and after a certain point, that he was having rapid mood swings because of his brain tumor, but it was all a blur of activity for me, pushing me way past my comfort levels. And I didn't stop to think about how much of jerk he was being because by time I got to stop, I was so worn out I had no energy left to spend it on that line of thought or any thoughts at all!! I do remember, at the hospital, a few times someone ran over to give me a hand with the wheelchair. I guess seeing someone with a walking stick trying to get a wheelchair out of a car gives a bit of a clue of part of the situation. I was very fortunate that inside or with others, he was well behaved and only got snarky with me IN the car. Except that one day he really snapped at me and then I just couldn't stop crying. That one had all the neighbours involved and the lady next door, who had known Rod since he was a young lad, having a stern chat with him and then chatting with me too and bringing me back into the bedroom so Rod could tell me he was sorry. That next door neighbour lost her husband about 6 months after Rod passed and I've hardly seen her since. She was a godsend at the time though, always quick witted and knew just the right thing to say at the right time.
ReplyDeleteI think your plans are good ones and I hope that they'll come to pass with someone else taking Himself places and Lopez being kept somewhere else when you need to be away from home. I sure wish at least one of my kids lived here near me. One day, maybe!
You know about how it is--- Maybe they are all the same--the yattering in the car-- me not driving right--watch out for that car--don't make me fall out of this wheel chair--yu are so stupid--It just goes on and on and I really wanted to punch him in the face--and I'm usually not a violent person--I was so angry at him, I stopped the car , and when he asked why we were sitting beside the road, I told him that I was waiting for an apology for the way he was acting--I never got then apology-and I have cried for a couple days because of his behavior-- Lynda-
DeleteIt's Kathy. Sounds like today has started off better for you. We all need to accept how change affects our lives and it seems as I get older it's harder to deal with the changes. I think you are amazing with all you have to handle! I'm glad your children are starting to see that you need more help! Take care of yourself, Lynda!
ReplyDeleteHi Kathy--yes, as we age--stuff changes--I never knew t would be like this! Lynda
DeleteLynda, unfortunately it’s not going up get any easier. And as things progress he will act out more
ReplyDeleteAlong it more difficult! At least one or your sons is stepping up to help. At least Lopez will be out if the way. Lynda how old is the wheelchair? Could you get a rollator that is lighter to manoeuvre? Good luck. Brenda
Hi Brenda-This wheel chair was sent here by the daughter in Ohio--It looks light --but-- when yu lift it, it is not very light--Lynda
DeleteI went back and read yesterday's post (yes, you are not the only one late to the party this week!) Oh, Lynda, I do hope you are able to keep to your resolve to not take Himself anywhere by yourself in future. You need the help of others! And I just know in my heart the others will happily give it! Your Himself is NOT Himself, and I know you know what I mean, so he needs an extra pair of hands besides yours. It's kind of son#3 to offer a second home for Lopez when you have to be gone, but it keeps looking as though there might be some more permanent helps needed.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! This is not easy, and you are a saint, whether you can see it or not!
I know Barb -after yesterday--- I need help taking him to medical places--I need help-PERIOD!---- LOL--- And yet--to-day went well--Lynda
DeleteSo sorry! Sounds like it was a very bad day. **SIGH** Definitely you need to ask for help for your own mental and physical health. It’s courageous, not weak, to ask for the help.
ReplyDeleteGlad Son #3 was able to help you. Glad that the robins and sandhill cranes have returned. Spring . . . it’s springing. And that’s great news that Son #3 has told you to drop Lopez off when you have to leave. Whatever is going on w/Lopez and Himself, you know it is a problem, so you’re doing the right thing removing him while you have to be away.
Yup . . . . really really hard to be kind when someone is being jerky, but . . . . it’s the best solution.
HUGS and Happy Mother’s Day to you.
Barb
1crazydog
Well Barb--- Yu do understand--but--yu know what?---To-day he was just fine! Strange isn't it? Lynda
DeleteGosh, I read this earlier but was interrupted and didn't comment!
ReplyDeleteLove your little posters...so many of them sound like teachings of the Law of Attractio!!!! "Your mind believes anything you feed it...."And, guess what? A belief is just a thought you continue to think...you can change what you think so you can change your beliefs!
It's good Lopez can go to your son's when you're not home. He'll be in his crate, but won't be worrying about Himself.
It's still almost completely cloudy here and not much sun expected til Wednesday. We will deal.
No karaoke tonight. Still too sore from that massive hug last week.
We will have a Mother's Day get together tomorrow in our Community Room. My daughter didn't invite me anywhere. Haven't heard from any of my kids, but sent my daughter and 3 daughters-in-law greetings on FB. Remember when we used to send cards through the postal mail...sometimes with a hand written note? How times change! We try out best to keep up with them.
I try to always be kind...even to jerks. In fact I try not to judge them as jerks...but that is almost impossible sometimes.
Have a Happy Mother's Day, Lynda. {{{HUGS}}}