So-- lots to think about-and , I do need feedback-- We went to see a house yesterday which I was all gung ho--ready to buy-- but---- I went to bed last night--and this morning, I thought, "What on earth was I thinking about?"--The house that I was ready to purchase, has 4 sets of stairs--like here-- much smaller rooms-- but--a lovely yard--with a million dollar gazebo in that lovely yard-- but--poor himself, having to manage stairs--like he does here--at almost 95 yrs old-I think it would "do him in"-- and the yard would be no use in the winter, for him--
So, I called the real estate Lady, and turned it down--told her to get this house (our house) on the market-- put up "for sale" signs--- Let's sell this place first--- then decide where to go-- and then we can buy a more suitable place--on one level--hopefully---
Life is a challenge-- but, one must face the music--get rid of furniture that I know we will never use again---- get the "FOR SALE" signs up--- and hope all will fall into place--- I know I cannot manage this place another year--so--why am I stalling?
Life seems so mixed up right now--Do we go--or do we stay?--kinda a no brainer I think--- but a very tough decision--- I think it all boils down to , "facing what has to be done as one ages-"--- Do I really need 540 huge mirrors?--- 16 bedrooms??--- huge pictures on our walls?- I really am no "Spring Chicken"-
There are times in one's life when yu really just want to run away--- not reality tho is it?---
I believe it was smart to turn down the house with stairs. Once your house is sold and you have to move, I think Himself will accept the move better. Once school is out for the summer you might be able to have kids help move some of the furniture out that you don't need. It is all mind boggling but just have faith that all will work out.
ReplyDeleteThat is the secret isn't it?--to have faith that it will all work out-Lynda
DeleteI hear you Lynda. I have echoes of the same thoughts, every time I look at what needs doing to this house to prepare it for my future self, I wonder if I should just move instead. But so many organizing and down-sizing decisions need to be made either way... it's exhausting even to contemplate.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. We all need to be strong! May you find something that's just right for you!
Yu I wish I had done all this 10 yrs ago--know Barb--- It wouldve been easier-Lynda
DeleteThat realtor lady must not be very sharp, to even show you a house with stairs and all weird features, to people who have trouble getting around! My goodness, that would be crazy. Oh yes, no stairs, it was number one on our list before we bought this house, in our 60’s then…..we ain’t getting younger, now closing in on 80! No point even looking at house with stairs. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteNo stairs--- a must!--I agree--- she did not want us to look At that house but I insisted-- Lynda
DeleteI agree that you should get a bungalow. As we get older the stairs are the hardest part to navigate. I have arthritis in my knees and it is difficult just doing one set of stairs to the laundry room. Having less room and furniture will mean less work for you and that should be a priority. Take your time looking at houses and don't settle for one that you are not sure about. Maybe when the weather warms up you could have a garage sale to get rid of some of your unwanted furniture. Enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteYes--I must get used to just giving stuff away--People are shocked when I do that--Lynda
DeleteLynda, I can see your point in turning down that house. The yard sounds lovely but you won't be living out there. Stairs and small rooms just won't be comfortable for either you or Fred. But do continue with the sale of your house and keep looking at any 1 floor homes she comes up with. Packing, moving gets more difficult as we get older.
ReplyDeleteI moved from a 4th floor apt to a main floor apt in same building last summer. At age 87, I found it so hard to do but fortunately, my son, daughter and niece did practically all of it for me!! BTW, when I first moved into this apt building, I found it hard after living in a big home too, but I got used to it. I do still miss my yards and patio but find I can't have it all, I have a small patio and can manage that.
In the end, you must do what you feel is best for you and Fred, regardless of what we all say but your friends are all giving you good advice. Good to think about all of it.
Love to you and Fred, hugs to your fur babies xoxo
Everyone has been very helpful Gloria--on here--lots to think about--Lynda
DeleteA wise decision to pass on the stairs, not only for Himself but also for you. I'm thinking that $60,000 commitment for a retirement community that seemed so outrageous a while back is worth reconsidering, especially when your house sells -- you could look into a bridge loan until the sale closes. Also, I'm wondering if you have considered renting instead of buying at this point? I'm not sure I'd want to take on all the headaches that come with property ownership on a new property in my 80s and above.
ReplyDeleteThere are retirement Homes--but not in town-and then I don't have the kids around---and yes I think I need to buy a small place--but it has to be the right place-Lynda
DeleteEnjoy your holiday weekend!
ReplyDelete**SIGH** Hope that you find the perfect place for you and Himself. Yes, lots of stairs doesn’t seem like it would be ideal.
Prayers and fingers crossed for you putting that for sale sign up. It’s a huge and scary step.
As always the food looks totally delicious! How nice. Safe travels to son #2 and family as they return back home.
My dear, you have LOTS of tough choices to make and you are sorting through it all. It is not easy.
hugs
barb
1crazydog
No Barb--I should have done all this a few years ago---I waited too long-Lynda
DeleteLynda, what the problem is with you is what I FACED when I lost David.......CHANGE is a hard thing. Wish I could come help you, but if you begin with packing a few things a day, find somewhere to store your necessities, it will be easier. Hoping for your sake this does not upset Himself with a move. Prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteI shall go ton the bank and ask them how to buy a place before this place is sold-Thy must know --yu think?--Lynda
DeleteLynda - I totally understand where you are coming from! I love my house and the thought of leaving it makes me sad - but at the same time I realize how much harder it is for me to maintain as I am now 76 years old! But I am slowly decluttering stuff I have had stored for years.... mostly by donating it or giving it away to anyone who wants it. And I do believe you made the right decision in turning down that house - all those stairs made it not suitable for you and Himself!
ReplyDeleteOh Sandra----It is tough parting with yer stuff--but--- yu know , and I know, that I just cannot manage this place another year--That keeps me going-Lynda-
DeleteGlad you turned down the stairs. It is hard letting go, but if you settle nearby you can always drive back to look at your house. I bought a condo before I put the house up for sale, that way I had to sell. Just an idea, though! Donna_cps2
ReplyDeleteDonna --great idea-buy a place --then it would be easier to sell--Thank yu-Lynda
DeleteIt’s sunny and 63 here in Ohio. So lovely! Well, I think with all those steps you made a good decision. When you look at houses be asking yourself, “will this house suit me when “I” am much older?” I think that could be helpful as you decide. I am just sorry you have this pressure upon you and hope it works out well no matter what. Stay strong! Tomorrow is Sunday!:)
ReplyDeleteI was so stressed this evening, I sat in a chair with a big tub of chocolate ice cream-totally not like me! Yes--- I must be stong because I must!--LOL-- Thank yu for reminding me-Lynda
DeleteIce cream is soothing and that's OK you did that!:)
DeleteThis is ba_coy from our SparkPeople days. Sorry, I haven't posted in ages. I would suggest you tell the real estate lady that any house she shows you must have a bedroom and full bathroom on the main floor so himself can live comfortably on the main floor and not have to use any stairs. You also mentioned the other day that himself has a wheel chair, so consider whether there is room to install a ramp over any entrance stairs when you are looking at a house. Even if he is still able to walk short distances, the ramp maybe easier for him to handle than steps in to the house. Consider looking at condos, then you would not be responsible for all of the outside maintenance like grass cutting and snow removal. I know the thought of moving is overwhelming but in the end, it will make life easier for both of you.
ReplyDelete--great ideas--Thank yu--and SO so good to see yu from Spark People--How did yu ever find me?--Hugs--Lynda
DeleteLynda, maybe you can ask your realtors to show you a ranch style house. They are also called ranchers...maybe other names, too. Maybe one with a basement for you to use, though, for your second fridge, etc. You do need one with a room for your piano!
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, hmmm. With one level where would Sushi go to escape the dogs? Maybe in a small room, have a baby gate so that the dogs cannot access her?
It probably IS time for you to downsize. Too bad there's not a house on your lake that suits the bill.
Food pics wonderful as always!
I'm strong today. Slept like a baby for NINE hours! So far I have cleaned the bathroom, swept and washed my floors, did a load of laundry, folded it and put it away. Dusted the living room, etc. Washed dishes, cleaned my stove and the outside of the microwave.
Needless to say, I will probably be too tired to go to karaoke. That's ok. If I wait another week, maybe it will no longer hurt when I take a deep breath.
Trust your emotions, dear. If you get a bad feeling one it is saying that it is not right for you OR that your guidance doesn't agree.
Cheers! We'll all make it yet.
{{{HUGS}}}
Yu are so right about Sushi--- She needs her own space and I shall find it for her--I am going tomorrow evening to see a bunglow-- private sale --It looks good--hopefully it will be--Son#1 and #2 are going with me-Lynda
DeleteThat's great! Hoper to hear good news. {{{HUGS}}}
DeleteDear Lynda, you made the right choice turning down a house with stairs. You have that now. No matter how lovely the outside is....you live IN the house. Tell your realtor, no stairs...main floor master and bath.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to consider a main floor condo OR perhaps a retirement community as there are people and activities to keep Fred engaged. Why is there no For Sale sign. Your realtor is not doing the normal stuff realtors do. No 4 hr. showings and lookers need to have financing in place before they look. You will sort it out. Look to the future, not the past in your current house.
What people often do here, hire a company to have an ESTATE SALE. The Estate Sale company will price, tag, advertise, sell anything you don't want to take with you.
Great food pics. As usual lol. Glad son is heading home.
Enjoy today. Stay strong. And yes. I think running away is a good option...somedays. Do not let this ovetwhelm you. Its going to require HELP. Of course, help comes at a price but you cannot do all this yourself.
Hugs
Hi Lynda: Food pics look really good. Re the house just 'bite the bullet' and downsize big time. I did and have no regrets. I was able to leave my big bulky furniture behind. You just have to make the decision to downsize. And tell the realtor you definitely want a larger or ranch style bungalow. And start clearing out excess stuff from your place now. Get a dumpster if you don't want to go through garage sales or carting a bunch of stuff to town to donate. Obviously this all falls on your shoulders so see what family members may be will to help. Good luck.
DeleteThanks Brenda--I am dong that now--- even giving prize possessions to people I hardly know-- Lynda
DeleteOh Margene--- Hard eh?--But--When one dies, all their possessions are tossed out--Isn't that terrible?----ones life --thrown out--but--- when I think of that, it makes me carry on-- lordy Be!-Lynda
DeleteDear you Kathy--Yu think I made the right decision?--I love yu telling me that--Thank yu--Lynda
ReplyDeleteI empathize with you at this time in your life. Ii wish you well as you make life changing decisions.
ReplyDeleteI haven’t been reading your posts in awhile now. My 92 year old husband passed away two months ago. There was a twenty year difference between the two of us.
His final wish was to die at home. Luckily with great palliative care we were able to keep him at home.
The last month has been filled with the logistics of dying.
I live in a little bungalow but even that seems big. I feel like I’m roaming around from one empty room to another.
I’ve been wanting to downsize for a few years now but my husband didn’t want to. There are many repairs that need doing. What do I do?
These issues keep me up at night along with the grieving and loneliness..
one day at a time.