But---- I am going to complain----I am later than late posting----You see, Himself --and I, were told online here, that we needed a covid Booster--- That was about a week ago-- I don't know if we really need that Booster but Himself is going into Hospital within the month for his vocal cord "fix-up"----so, I suppose we should listen to the experts and go get the shot.
So, with a great deal of difficulty I got the wheel chair into the trunk of the car-- It folds, but is still very heavy--I tried to get it into the back seat but that would not work----Then Himself came out--- and all seemed OK-- -----until----we arrived at the parking lot of the clinic-
-"'Park over there ", he ordered me--- Looking -"over there" --where he pointed, I knew would eventually be where every Tom, Dick And Harry" will park and I knew I could never get out again--- because the clinic lot gets very busy as everyone comes to see their Doctor-----
"No", I told him, I am parking in the Drs spot--- where I know I can get out--"-
And so, the horrible time began--- because , Himself, a Dr., needs to be the authority --on everything--
It doesn't matter that I am the Driver--that I am his Caregiver-----No, what he says must be ---Anyway, I managed to get the wheelchair out of the trunk of the car, got him in it, with him ranting and raving about what a terrible person I am and how bad it was to not park where he wanted--and--- about 4 people in the parking area came over to help calm him down so I could get him AND the Wheel chair into the clinic-Lord love a Duck!
We did get the Covid shot--- and as I began to push himself in the wheel chair to get back to the car, a gentleman , came over and said, "Here let me help you"-- as Himself was shouting--"She never listens"-- "she doesn't know how to push this chair"----and on and on--
So, needless to say, I will never take him ANYWHERE again, unless he acts like a normal human being- but--He isn't a normal human being---anymore-
The Gentleman who helped me get Himself and the chair back into the car, said to me, "Yu know, all you can do is laugh-- and smile--- It helps you know."
HUGS!
ReplyDeletePHOENIX1949
My heart aches for what you are enduring from a DH who has no clue he’s putting you thru so much….so glad strangers stepped in to help!!
ReplyDeleteI agree…take him nowhere without another family member with you;
it really isn’t safe for either of you! ❤️ Eissa7
Hi Lynda: just remember we are all here for you - at least to listen even if not there to help. These things will happen again & again. Try to have someone go with you when you have to take him inside somewhere. Wish you the best of luck. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteYes for sure--get someone to help-- or get the boys to take him go his medical places--and thank yu for being here-Lynda
DeleteOh dear. How difficult for you. I can't even imagine having to wrestle a wheel chair into the trunk of my car and then being scolded all the way inside while all you are doing is helping. I'm so glad a kind gentleman came along and helped you. I know your children are helping more than before but you are still left doing so much. I wish there was a way for you to have some permanent help - like a few hours 2-3 times a week - or something so you have some time off. My grandfather had Alzheimer's disease and got progressively worse. My grandmother was younger than he but she was in her 80's. When my grandfather had to go into the hospital she didn't even want to visit him, she was so relieved to have some time to herself. And she had 2 daughters who helped a lot! Make sure you take some time for YOU! Kathy
ReplyDeleteKathy--- That sounds like what I need--time to myself--From now on, I shall get the boys to get him to his medical places and it will be good to stay home --for me!-- Lynda
DeleteOh My Goodness! You were not kidding when you said "Today was a difficult day"! It totally was! I know you must be exhausted! Mentally and physically! All that verbal abuse must be terrible to deal with! Congrats to you for sticking with him as I might have been tempted to just leave him in his wheelchair and gotten in the car without him! (of course I am joking, but it would have crossed my mind)! Hoping and praying that your day got better this afternoon. My heart feels for you, my friend!
ReplyDeleteIt was better this afternoon-- 2 of the 3 boys came out--helped set up the hoses and I realize now, that I cannot get him to these medical places-- The boys ill have to--and i'nm sure they will-- Thanks Sandra-- Who would ever think stuff like this ever happens-Lynda
DeleteLynda, I am sorry for both of you that you had to go through that! Angry words, boiling up feeling inside you, frustration to the max on both sides...but you got help! People understand! There is this thing called empathy. He is the man you married, but just changed. We all change. Some of that change is not the best for those who love us. He's in there deeply somewhere.
ReplyDeleteMinnesota is like that, too. There is actually a saying known all over the US (maybe you've heard it, too.) It's simply, "Minnesota Nice." Every where I go I see people helping people, neighbors, strangers, store clerks, elderly people...So hear people giving thanks all over. I realized shortly after I moved here...almost 6 years now...is that the cool thing is that it causes YOU to be nice, too! Just like smiles are catching, so is courtesy, friendliness and...yes...LOVE.
Did those ladies who were supposed to reschedule in May do so yet?
Kinda difficult for us to help you on-line.
Love you both...and your furbies, too. {{{HUGS}}}
awww--- just nice to vent to yu I guess ---There are some very nice people who came to my rescue-- I will get the boys to take him to where ever he has to go, next time--I know he would treat them better--and it really would be wonderful to get him away from me for awhile-Lynda
DeleteSo sorry for the rotten time you and Himself experienced, my goodness. I would have cried, too. So nice of that gentleman to come to your aid. Lady Luck put him there!!
ReplyDeleteYes he helped me get him into the car-- very kind person-- Lynda
DeleteI teared up a little at that Pooh and Piglet message. Picture me sitting right beside you quietly. My goodness! You need some close friends in real that you can sit with, talk things over with. Are there any grief groups or anything around? Because of course you are grieving, grieving the person who was and who will never be again. I recall when my grandmother went thru something similar and evidently was throwing things at my mom - she kept me away when things got that bad, and my grandmother didn't live much longer after that. Anyway, too bad your daughter isn't nearby, but is in Ohio. It seems a daughter's love and help would be just what is needed rather than grown man children who don't seem to help much when help is needed. I mean, maybe they are, or maybe they can't b/c they're at work - but it's frustrating that it sure seems like you're pretty much on your own with all this! I am so sorry and wish I could help, but all I can do is listen.
ReplyDeletebut --listening is so good-- I really appreciate yu listening-- mybe the boys should nbe the ones to get him to a CT Scan--and for that surgery--I'm sure he would treat them a lot better--just having yu here helps e--Thank yu-Lynda
DeleteOh my...it was not a good morning. I'm so sorry. I'm glad people did help you. I wish I were closer to help. Hoping you can find some help...like to go along when you need to take DH somewhere and like staying with DH when you need or want to be away. Know that I relate, empathize and care as do many, many others on this thread.
ReplyDeleteHoping your day got better. Play your piano.
Hugs
.
aww Margene--Thank you for yer concern--Lynda
DeleteAnger is the sad part of the "long good-bye" and, sadly, it will only get worse. He really needs another caretaker besides you. The dog knows that he is not safe around DH. Take his warnings to heart.
ReplyDeleteIt really was very awful--- not him At all-Lynda
DeleteI'm so sorry that you have to go through that and do it all by yourself. Hopefully there are more good in your days than bad. (((BIG HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteSo sorry! Have the boys put the upcoming dates in their plans now so it is covered for you! Really! I know you are the strongest woman I know but sometimes we need help and it’s ok. Hugs from Ohio! Tomorrow is our fave day. Let’s enjoy it!:)
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