So what happened yesterday to make me realize that I have a problem here?-
-Well, I was out cutting the lawn--front and side---and fertilized it --then set the hoses on it-- must've been out there at least 2 hrs--and when I came inside, Himself was coming in from the deck after planting his tomato plants----AND----- Lopez began to bark at Himself--- so--Himself took his cane and gave this tiny chihuahua a good whack--and Lopez kept barking at him and the cane was flying around over his head--and Lopez bit his toe---and all "hell broke loose"--
I think this has been going on for some time--'specially when I am not around--or in town---after "laying down the Law" with both Lopez, and the husband,--- we went to bed in our upstairs room, with a temperature of 78 degrees, and the husband refusing TO OPEN THE PATIO___Lord love a Duck!---
So, this morning, rules had to be set-- Lopez can never be left with Himself again--- and---- as for the bedroom--We do have 3 other bedrooms and things will change--It is summer--- It is hot upstairs--and , soon the AC will go on----- and one of us will have to adapt--
The above message was the one I sent yesterday! It would not let me send it! Don't know why - but today when I copied and pasted it, it went through! So sorry to hear about your upsetting day....poor little Lopez - and poor Fred - doesn't understand that he is scaring Lopez so much! As for the hot bedrooms upstairs....you have the right idea - just move to a cooler room.....unless you are worried that he will wander downstairs without you realizing it. You certainly have your hands full! Sending you positive thoughts and prayers for lots of strength!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandra--- Whatta terrible situation I have and am living thru--- Lynda
DeleteOh Lynda, it breaks my heart to say this but it seems to me that you & Fred would both be better off if he went to live in a long term home for seniors. I know some may pounce on me for even suggesting it but he can't be left alone, can't seem to understand about windows, etc., being opened in the warm weather. Not least of all is his treatment of little Lopez.
ReplyDeleteSo if you are going to continue taking care of him, you might consider letting Lopez go to another home, letting him live in peace too. Striking a tiny dog with a cane (or anything) is a real no-no.
I also feel sad for you because you're not so young anymore and this has really added to all the work you do, inside & outside, daily. I truly hope you'll continue looking for that perfect home in town so you folks can downsize and you'll have far more time to yourself instead of working so much.
Loads of love xoxo
Gloria---- I cannot tell yu how upset I am-and was--when I saw it all unfold last evening-Poor little Lopez who sat and cried facing Son#4's inside door when I was away that one day--He just wanted to go home-to me--Poor wee guy--- No matter what, Himself cannot hit him--- and the door situation --an open window in the summer--- is going to happen--- or he can sleep downstairs-- it is so sad to see a man act like this-- He may have to go into a LTCARE place --but-- they are all full--The whole situation is so sad---Thank yu for writing--Sometimes I just cannot believe that I am going thru this-Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda: That doctor that came and said there was not wrong with his mind - was he a friend or colleague of himself? He clearly has issues. Plus he doesn't seem to like Lopez. Since it's going to get warmer over the summer you won't always be able to take Lopez in the car and leave him in it when you go into a store. You may need to take him to your son's more even if it's not Lopez's preference. I'm glad you set does some rules. I believe that you definitely don't want him to go into a long term care home. But there may come a time when you have not choice, In the meantime you and Lopez may have to sleep in another room. Here's hoping you fibd a smaller house in town soon! Take care of yourself. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteThe DR that came is a friend--- but--Fred reads all about Dementia and can fool anyone--Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I'm so sorry. I know that himself doesn't really know what he is doing and I'm sure all the barking is hard on him, but poor little Lopez could have been seriously hurt. Just today I sent Daisy to her kennel to stop the barking. Yes, we must have patience but your is being stretched so thin! Tom and I have the little boys today - all day. Makes me wonder if I really ever did have kids. And they've actually been good - so far nothing has been broken. My daughter is moving today and we are tasked with bringing the boys to their new house. It's been almost 7 hours now - I'm hoping she calls soon. Tom is taking his turn at being the fun Grandparent so I can have some "screen time". I hope today has gone better for you!
ReplyDeleteToday is better--- just wondering if a move right now will cause many more problems--What do yu think?--Lynda
DeleteI guess it's very possible that moving will cause himself to be even less of himself. Right now everything is familiar. But the reality is that you have way too much house and yard to take care of by yourself. In addition to the care you need to provide for himself. My thought is to move forward - if you are meant to move then the right opportunity will present itself. If it doesn't, you are meant to stay for awhile longer. I also understand that money is an issue these days. My children say "just hire someone" but when money is limited that's not always an option!
DeleteI feel so sorry for Lopez because when he barks it just is a natural thing for a dog to do. Luckily he doesn't do it to Beau. Even the best trained dog can turn on his master if something like being hit with a cane happens. For the safety of Himself I hope he listens to your warnings. This is just one more large problem that you have to add to the pile you already have. I wish I lived closer and was able to help you with some things. I am thinking of you. Take care.
ReplyDeleteOh Madeline--Life is crazy complicated isn't it?-- Is it going to get worse when and if we move?-- I have a feeling it will--Yu think we should just stay here till we figure things out?--Lynda
DeleteOMG Lynda. That is terrible. Sorry it is such that you cannot leave Lopez alone w/Himself but . . . honestly, for BOTH their safety, best not to. I remember going through this w/my Dad and Mr. Spot. Mr. Spot had jumped up to be pet and Dad didn’t like that and was going to hit him with the cane. That was it. I just told him flat out that he is NOT to ever do that again. Now mind you, Dad did not have any problems w/his cognition. So, he promised and *I* never let Mr. Spot alone w/him again, either. It took me by surprise, because, really, Mr. Spot was Dad’s best buddy. Dad died on 12 August 2017 and Mr. Spot died on 21 August 2017 and I firmly believe it was from a broken heart. **SIGH** So do what you need to do to protect Lopez and Himself.
ReplyDeleteIt is harder than hard to adapt, but you’re right. Adapting to what is the reality is all you can do. You will do it.
Did I read correctly that the Dr. who visited Himself @ home said there was nothing wrong?? Wow. That just sounds sooooo wrong on so many levels.
You have lots of hugs and prayers. You’re plate is overflowing.
HUGS
Barb
1crazydog
Barb--It happened to yu too--your Dad and Mr Spot??--So tis \is not unique?---- Fred has a cane too--and actually hit him with thAt cane--similar to your situation---How much longer dod he have to go in a home?-- So happy that yu wrote--I keep feeling he will get better--but-- no--eh?-LyndA
DeleteLynda, first of all, I’m very concerned that the doctor is not concerned! Even if Fred was having a good day the doctor surely doesn’t think you’re making this up. If you’re unable to get some consistent in home help, I would highly recommend getting on a waitlist for LT care. This situation is extremely unhealthy for all of you! Although it would be difficult, Fred doesn’t seem to be able to function very well in your home but you still have a life and should be able to run errands, have a hair day, etc. without all of this stress and worry. I am concerned this will take its toll on you and there would be no one to care for Fred or the dogs. Sending hugs and prayers as you go through this difficult time.🙏
ReplyDeleteVery difficult time--, I know--- thank yu for your concern-Lynda
DeleteNo, I don't believe he will ever strike me---but--I never thought in a million yrs he would hurt a tiny dog--ad funny thing--I hid the cane on him today and Lopez was so much calmer--Lynda
ReplyDeleteOh, Lynda, I was sure that Himself and Lopez were at war with each other! In the beginning I think I can see the cane just scared Lopez. Then he somehow set Himself off. Himself had a handy weapon...
ReplyDeletePoor little dog. Poor Himself...and you.
Prayers going up.
Yes, I believe we all have good days and bad ones. Most of the time we can focus on the positive. But when the negative keeps on coming on and on...
You had said before that your son said you could drop Lopez off there. Is that still possible? When it gets hot in the car, you won't want to leave him there when you are shopping, etc.
I am posting late again. You may not even see this.
Anyway {{{HUGS}}}
Lynda I'm so sorry for all these situations. So much to handle and deal with. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs dear lady
ReplyDeleteLynda - Yes, Dad had mobility issues, so he did use a cane. I NEVER expected in all my wildest dreams that he'd use it as a weapon. And he never did do it again BUT I never left him alone w/Mr. Spot.
ReplyDeleteDad's cognition did decline. It was about 6 mths. after that episode that both Mom and Dad ended up in hospital and then long term memory care. It was a very difficult time, but with their hospitalizations, the choice of what to do was taken out of my hands. But I had already made a choice because I could see the situation
deteriorating. **SIGH**
Many HUGS