You see, there is no help , and I may as well recognize this--- and in this world, it takes a lot of money to hire help--which at our age now, with no income, is hard to do, and keep the books balanced-- It is a difficult job--to snow blow---and to make matters worse, I fell--tripped on the cheat on my one boot and down I went--When I am outside blowing snow too, Himself is left alone in the house--a worry for me, in case he falls--
Anyway, the blog this AM, is late because of me frustrated with so much going on here, and me, silly enough to complain and write down my frustrations--_ beeping--but not stopping in-- but, why should anyone stop in eh??--
I am terribly sorry that I ever wrote down my frustrations--
I do a good job here--- managing everything-- I am sorry that I upset anyone--- I am sorry that I even ask for help--which will never happen again--
I love to blog ---- I understand that I was in the wrong to even think that anyone should help , just because I am old and tired-- --- Women, no matter their age, can be strong--and we are--because we have to be-- I have always said this--
Life is hard sometimes--somedays----even writing down my frustrations- upsets- the family--- probably because I was so tired -- pooped--really! --Crazy --Anyway----
I am talking in circles--The blog, expressed my frustrations---but---it's a lesson to me-----to keep my feelings to myself-- --- Well!----I hope all is well in your part of the world! Is it?--
-
Linda, your blog is here to do with as you see fit. The person that 'ratted on you' - well, the busy-body is no friend of ours. Son #1's behavior was absolutely terrible, and no matter how busy/under the gun he should have stopped and let you know he or someone else would be back shortly to take care of this.
ReplyDeletehi Deb-- Yu are so good to write me-- It has been a sad day here --I do believe that just to have the grown kids stop in is so good for their Dad --and helps me-- but--- We just do not see them-- I must accept this I guess--hartd tho- Thank yu for writing-Lynda
DeleteLynda…First of all, I’m sorry that someone sent your blog to your Son…not their place, but probably meant well. After all, you spoke the truth.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I guess you really must face the fact that, for whatever reasons, family help is mostly unavailable and carry on the best you can…until you simply cannot. Thirdly, why you cannot express your feelings and frustrations is simply not right…everyone needs an outlet, and to vent…your blog provides that for you! Do what you can to nurture yourself, if it means letting some things go…oh well! ❤️
Eissa7
Dear Eissa--Thank yu-- Yes Family help is unavailable-- -so different than what I believe-- thank yu for writing-lynda
DeleteLynda, oh my! Honey one purpose to blog is to express your feelings! The person who told on you, I feel, should not have...you could have called your son to express your disappointment yourself!
ReplyDeleteMaybe the person did on on the spur of the moment and later regretted their action. I bet we have all been there!
Yes, we must be strong...but strength takes support by others, good nutrition, rest...like said, one must have balance.
If you are not going to mention your kids anymore, I will miss that. One of the fun parts of your blog is seeing all the international food choices.
Hopefully you will change your mind. I support you in whatever decision you make, whether or not you use the women's privelage to change her mind.
{{{HUGS}}}
Awww so good of you-- I love my kids so much it probably will be impossible to not mention them-- but-- I expect so much from them--which isn't how kids are these days--I guess-Lyn
DeleteThis is “your” blog and I think you should be able to express your feelings here. This has happened before and well, the truth hurts sometimes. You always quote your mother and father. I am going to use one of my grandmother’s old quotes…”they will get over it or under it!!”Lol Lord love a duck! (Probably my favorite quote and it came from you!:) Hugs-stay warm and strong. You got this!
ReplyDeleteLynda, my friend, don't you dare be sorry about any of this!! You have reasons, good ones, to speak out! No child who sees their elderly parent outside doing what you were doing, should just pass on by! No child, I don't care who's child they are. They should lend a hand to the woman who did so much for them since they were born! And I say 'damn' that nosy troublemaker who told your son what you wrote in your blog. Must be someone who delights in causing trouble!
ReplyDeleteI tell it like it is and let the wind blow wherever!! A blog is supposed to be a safe place where we can share our 'happys' and halve our 'sorrows' or 'unhappys!' Do that, keep on writing as you have been. So many, many of us look for your daily blogs because you tell it like it is. Don't change, not for anyone!! You're alright in my books Lynda, always will be!
Many hugs and lots of love to you, Fred and your fur babies xoxo
So sorry this happened! The next generation doesn't have the same values we do (and I'm 85) and they are so wrapped up in the fast pace of life. However, this doesn't excuse what happened - if he was busy he should have stopped and said he would finish the job when he returned home. My three live away from me and I feel like they should return home more often even tho it is a long distance so I would be double upset with your situation. Don't change what you do - as the saying goes If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!!!
ReplyDeleteLynda! I am SO sorry to hear this. As everyone has said, this is your place to let all the frustrations and emotions out - and all the much better out than in. If we all held these things in our blood pressure would be through the roof, we'd eat ourselves silly, and our mental health would be out of balance. I'm sorry people are upset - can't help but think that they wouldn't be if they didn't make an error in judgment by not lending a hand or support.
ReplyDeleteSo let it out. Share the pain and frustration like you share the laughs and happy times. This is your space, we are your people, and we support you.
Hang in there, and as my mother says - this too shall pass.
Sending hugs and all good things to you!
kimberley
Clearly you have a follower who is not a friend, but a gossip. I'm sorry; everyone needs a safe space to vent--no one more than a care-giver who has no real "down" time or outside time/space. I know. I've been there.
ReplyDeleteThere is no way you should have to censor what you write in your blog. Keeping your feelings bottled up is no good for the body. I’m sure most of people our age feel the way you do about their kids. You love them to death but some days you’d like to slap them. In fact when I was younger and my mother was alive, I never realized how much help parents could use in their elder years, but now that I am there,I do. Maybe your kids need to realize that.
ReplyDeleteDon’t change your style for anyone. It’s your blog and feel free to say what you want. Love and Hugs! Dorothy
I remember when something like this happened on Spark, and again I say shame on whoever violated the code of trust between a blogger and her readers.
ReplyDeleteAnd Lynda, this is your mother speaking: “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” Are you truly willing to sacrifice years of friendship to appease a son whose nose is out of joint because you called something as you saw it? It’s time for him to pull up his big-boy pants, grow up, and get over it. In fact, let’s hope he has this kind of support when he’s in his 80s and beyond and needs some help and kindness in getting through his days. From what I know of you, I don’t sense you have the “real person” friendships and support in your community that you have with your longtime online friends. It’s always good so see the responses when you put something out there, as the rest of us have different life experiences and we are able to share our own ideas as to how to approach the challenges you are facing. Don’t allow something this trivial to quiet your voice. Don’t give whoever “shared” your comments that kind of power. You are strong and beautiful and powerful and don’t let anybody take that away from you!
Lynda, I'm mad AGAIN. First I'm mad at your sons inconsiderate drive by and I'm really mad at the person who decided to relay your comments to your son. HE , son, should feel bad...NOT YOU. This is your blog. We support you...good days and not so good days....we get it. You'll decide whats best for you but please don't let someone who is not supportive control you from sharing your day. I hadn't thought about Fred being alone inside while you are out with the snowblower. Kids can be very inconsiderate. I get it. I'm living it. I "think" daughters are more considerate but maybe I'm wrong as I only have one son. Its hurtful...these kids....and so different from the help and support I lavished on my parents. But, again, this is your blog and you get to talk about whatever and whoever you want. Its not like you used his name...you never do.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, take ìt easy and don't let the turkeys get you down!!
Hugs
A blog should not be censored because of some spoil-sport "ratting" on you. You have every right to vent your feelings to your Sparky friends! We will be here to support you. People need an outlet! And you are people!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Paceka1 here: And my name is Kathy, by the way. I am outraged on your behalf. As so many stated above me - shame on the person who shared your frustration and shame on your son for driving by, clearly seeing his mother (the very person who gave him life and cared for him for many many years) was struggling. I have children and I have been outraged by probably every single one of them at one time or another. This should be a safe space for you to say what you need to say. I remember when I used to blog on Spark - I had knee replacement surgery and was saying how sad I was that I couldn't take Daisy for a walk. Someone scolded me in the comments for not taking care of my dog! People can be so thoughtless and cruel sometimes. We all love your blogs and you do need a place to get your frustrations out. You are taking care of so much! And I also understand about the financial situation. We went to the store today and I'm starting to think we'll have to cut back to 2 meals a day!!! Take care Lynda, you are a very good person.
ReplyDeleteLynda, you have every right to blog about what is going on in your life and all of us appreciate your blog. For some inconsiderate person to pass along content is unacceptable. She/he may treat others the same way so sees no issues. Wait til they are 80 and get no help! (Of course we won't be around to see it!) Your son could have stopped to see if all was ok if nothing else. Their father has issues and their mother does everything. If they can't help perhaps they should contribute money so you can pay others to help. I also hope you keep blogging as you always do or the others complaining win. I think we all want you to be as happy as you can be and deserve to me.
ReplyDelete"Son, who drives by, as I am out snow blowing" has a severe case of guilty conscience!! Next time, maybe he'll stop to help. Maybe closing your access to the lake this summer will send a loud message, too. They don't mind stopping by when they can have a good time in the lake at your expense.
ReplyDeleteHello. Is there a way you can block this suspected person from reading your blog? Your blog should be private and open to only those you choose. Not open to anybody close who can go "rat you out," I should think. Take care.
ReplyDeleteSorry this happened to you....wondering how you found out that your son was aware of what you wrote in your blog? Did he call and confront you? And he was angry? Hoping that maybe it will open some doors for you to express to your kids that you do need some help. I am thinking that your kids see you as a strong woman who can manage everything on your own.....beause that is what you have been doing for so long! Time to have a sit down with all your kids and acknowledge that they are busy and have families of their own to take care, but out of love and respect for you, their mother, who ia getting much older, they need to each carve out some time to help you. I think they are oblivious to your plight as they see you as a "super mom"! But I do sympathize with you....so hard to walk that fine line between writing what you feel and worrying about who is reading it! You have a whole community of people following your blogs who love you and what you write daily! We love you and your blogs!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that this happened to you Lynda. The struggle is real and as my mother used to say, "We all have a turn." You kids like mine, will continue to age, get sick and need help just like you. I'm just sorry that I didn't live closer to you so that I could send my husband over to snowblow for you. Sorry that you have such a sh#tty friend as well. Keep your chin up love.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry if I were there I would come help this is just what we do I get it that the kids get mad but they will be more upset when we are gone then they will see that we really did need some help .
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that this happened to you Lynda. You should never feel like you have to censor yourself because this is your blog. Anyone who uses your blog against you is no friend of yours. I'm sorry that you have to do everything on your own. It's extremely selfish of your kids not to help out. After all, you are their parents and they should do what they can to make your life easier.
ReplyDeleteAlright everyone - STAND DOWN !!! Anyone who is curious can access a blog on here (or the internet as a whole).
ReplyDeleteRight below the blog is a little line of symbols that indicate where the blog can be shared and I believe that anyone who accesses the page can use them. I just e-mailed myself a link to this blog and it worked fine. That comes with the territory of the blogisphere...
Modern technology can't save us from the busybodies of this world.
We just have to remember that anything we post here (or anywhere using the internet) can be seen by anyone who has the knowledge to do it. Of course, some things are harder to find than others, but it is ALL out there!!
That being said, it is a shame that you can't find the help you most desperately need. Unfortunately, that seems to be the way of the world since the wheel was invented.
Oh Lynda! I am so sorry this happened to you. **SIGH**
ReplyDeleteYes, it is very difficult making the books balance when retired. Daily concern! And you have all that on top of worry about Himself’s safety and doing everything else, too. ((((HUGS))))
My dear, if you don’t write your frustrations here, I HOPE you are able to share them somewhere else. You need to get those things off your chest for sanity’s sake!
Having been through this w/my parents (which is TOTALLY different than going thru is with your spouse!) I know how wearing it is. You NEED an outlet.
It is a difficult spot to be in. BUT you know, we ALL need help @ one time or another and I sure do hope you ask for it when you need it. IN the best of circumstances, asking for help is not easy.
I totally understand adult kids are busy, have their own lives, but . . . for heavens sake . . . it is good if they remember all you did for THEM growing up . . . because you (and Himself) DID!
Seems like the core issues are: You HAVE always done it all but things are changing now. Your kids don’t see that. AND seems like your kids do not truly grasp what is going on w/Himself. That, to me, is the tougher issue. It’s a hard discussion to have, but maybe a sit-down w/your kids would clear the air. Just an idea. There really is no reason why the kids hat live closest to you can’t stop in, even for an hour, to give you respite!
Finally, a pox on that person who ratted you out! That was uncalled for. Unnecessary. Hurtful in MANY ways.
((((HUGS)))) you are loved!!!!
Barb
1crazydog
We may need to move to a private blog format. The family should not be using this blog to spy on you. I will help you make this for only your friends if you want, Lynda! I find this very disturbing. I didn't help set this up for any kind of negative surveillance purposes.
ReplyDeleteTo the people involved: You have been warned.