To-day was "Get Himself to his Day Program" day----and do as much as you can in a short time at home--I dropped Himself, then went over to Shoppers to pick up a few things--and--- when I went through the cash, I was asked for ID--kinda strange as we have lived in town forever it seems---- I thought maybe because I was not dressed up--and my hair looked sorta like a "rag mop"--Working outside all last week did not help "the hair-do"-
--I knew the lady and her husband behind me in line at this store----- and they were kinda laughing that I was asked for ID--and they were not---- Anyway, I showed the cashier my Driver's Licence with my picture on it--and I was allowed to go, with whatever I had purchased---BUT---I did feet like a bit of a criminal--
-Now that I am home here, I have phoned the store owner---She explained that years ago when all my points were stolen--(by someone on Toronto) the owner, being a friend of my Doctor Husband, retrieved all the lost points and replaced the card I did have, with a card which identifies me as a store worker--so, believing that I was not a store worker, I was asked for ID----Lordy Lordy!-- Confusing eh""
Himself , last evening, probably out of frustration, was difficult to handle--- He refuses to wear his Hearing Aids--so, whatever he does hear , confuses him--- We managed to get thru the evening, as I have learned not to argue with him--ignore the hurtful comments-- and always remind myself that , what he is saying is not how he means to act--AND_WALK AWAY---The "walking away"--is the key to a happy life right now--
This whole thing that happened last evening made me wake up to the fact that maybe I cannot take care of my other half too much longer and I must begin to plan what is going to happen--
It's Kathy. I'm sorry you had a bad night with himself but I think you're doing the right thing by not responding. And I love that you sit down and play the piano. I know my mom loved playing and it helped her calm down inside, especially after a conversation with my grandmother! It's cooler here today after quite a storm last evening. Tom and I were going to go to Costco last evening but he suggested we go in the afternoon in case of rain - boy what that a good decision! I need to get outside and do some gardening this afternoon, maybe even take Daisy for a short walk. My leg doesn't hurt as much as it has the last 3 days. I do what I can! Have a good day!!
ReplyDeleteYour leg till hurts eh?-- Will it calm down on its own? I need to garden tomorrow--- I love Cosco-- Lynda
DeleteHUH! Well, at least you passed muster w/your ID! Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteAnd glad you were able to drop Himself @ daycare. You BOTH need that break. Sorry it was a rough evening w/him. Evening always seemed to be the most challenging w/my Mom (Alzheimer’s).
Sad to say, you ARE wise to at least look around, be prepared for if the time comes that you cannot take the best care of Himself by yourself. No shame in that. You have done a remarkable job for a long time!
I started looking around, too, even though I didn’t think it was necessary @ the time. BUT it’s good I did, because, when the time came, I had all my ducks on a row. That’s what you want! Makes a difficult choice a little less difficult.
Hugs
Barb
1crazydog
Aww Barb--Yu do understand---Did both your parents go into a home?---- Lynda
DeleteGlad you are able to come to the decision with Himself. Finding the right place (and then dealing with all the guilt) is really imperative. If your health suffers, then Himself will suffer as well. You have to take care of yourself first now. You have too much on your plate, but then you know that. Realizing it will only get worse is a bitter fact of life, no magic cures & no angels sent from heaven. My heart breaks for you...
ReplyDeleteDeb --Boy, do you ever understand--mentioning dealing with the guilt-but, he already goes there and I believe he will settle in-- Yu are good--Life is not a bowl of cherries when one ages-- Hugs, Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda, rather confusing situation at grocery store....glad you called and got an explanation. Yes, you passed muster.
ReplyDeleteSorry himself was wound up last evening. So GLAD you now walk away. Good job. Happy to hear you turned to your piano for an outlet. Good on you.
Yes, time to get the shit together. Never hurts to have a plan. Plans are flexible.
At 95 himself likely won't get better. First and foremost you have to take care of you.
There is longevity in himselfs family. Youve done an amazing job of taking care of him but circumstances beyond your control might make that impossible. Glad you will look into alternatives. There is a lot of guilt involved if a placement does become necessary but self preservation is a priority. Kids will have a different opinion, of course, but they aren't walking in your shoes. Have a plan. There are companies who do prescreening of facilities, provide options, suggestions and can save a lot of time depending on financial capability and himself needs.
Hoping you have a positive day. Thinking of you.
Loved the get your shit together insert. Yep..so true.
Hugs and blessings.
Marge/St.Louis
LOL--Yes Marge--I believe it will work out--IF THE House SELLS--kinda weird as my Mom ad Dad were together till the bitter end--Lynda
DeleteHope Himself has a good time at the Lodge today. That was a strange thing st the store. So, Himself’s doctors never thought to ask you what would happen if YOU got sick and bedridden for two weeks, what would happen to Himself?? Did they assume all the sons would move back home? None of the doctors asked about plans a long time ago? But they took your money! So sorry they were a lazy bunch. You are such a hardworking human, an angel, but no magical spell out there any of us.
ReplyDeleteno sons will move back home-- --no--Drs do not seem to care as long as everything seems OK---- And no --We do not pay our rs--Its all covered-- by the gov't--Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda! I’m glad you made it to the store although carded but now you know why so that is nice to understand. I had a worker here doing trim most of the day. The yorkies were not happy and I kept them in another part of the house which is not easy with their pads, food, water and toys. But glad it got done. So sorry you are having troubles with Himself and thinking out future care. Storms off and on in Ohio. Tomorrow will be better weather. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteIt turned out to be a good day here---happy about that-Lynda
DeleteYou have been working toward getting rid of stuff and keeping the house in shape if you should have to move, so feel good about that.
ReplyDeleteI am never sure how much we should try to plan ahead because it never seems like the things we think will happen actually do happen. It’s the unseen things that screw us over.😁.
You have been concerned about what you should do for a couple of years now. My heart goes out to you because you obviously do not want to move. Have you thought about offering someone living space in your downstairs in exchange for help with Himself? Or is that a ridiculous idea? Just trying to think outside the box.
Things usually work out in the end, even if there are a number of bumps and potholes in the road. Sending hugs and glad you had your ID with you today.🙂
No, I thought of a live in renter--but--no-- I do not think that would work out--The biggest thing is selling this house-- Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda: Smart to start thinking about alternatives for himself. Are there many resources around there for places he could move to and be taken care of properly? is there any possibility of finding someone to live in to provide help - a PSW or someone who has experience looking after seniors. I know this subject is very difficult for you as you really want to look after him but there will be times you have limitations. Lots to think about. Try to play the piano and relax tonight. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteBrenda--my reply is way down here--Weird-- No---Of I can just hang in till Spring, we hopefully will be out of here --maybe---hopefully!--= Lynda
DeleteMarti here. So glad to hear that you are realizing finally that you need help. I know that it is/will be perhaps harder on the finances, but you deserve to relax more and enjoy yourself and not have to put up with all that. Life is short. After having put my mom into assisted living, I think she was pretty happy. She liked playing Bingo and going to all the events that they had for her and we would go over for the special occasions and make it a fun time! :)
ReplyDeleteMarti--- same as Fred--I believe he will like living there eventually---- Thank yu for telling me about yer Mom--This an assisted care place also--Lynda
DeleteSis, Himself won't wear his hearing aids. Mine are dead. Will NOT charge anymore. The reset process the audiologist gave me is not working. Have to make an appointment with her tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteIf you let your kids know that you may need to find a place for Himself soon will they think you should be able to handle him, or will they agree and help you?
Did you get a chance to talk to the man at the store where you got the lawn mower or are you just going to use the one you have and use a scythe for the longer grass?
Just got back from the casino where Donna and I took JoAnne for her birthday (she's the one with the bariatric walker I used to take to karaoke. Donna does that now). Donna won $300. I won $270, but Joanne won nothing. We treated her to supper, though.
Yes, music...piano, the country music I listen to on my radio...music makes tough times so much easier! I am glad you have that.
The hair that you think is so bad...it's tomorrow for that, right? If your hairdresser is feeling better now.
All for now, dear. Gotta pay some attention to Lucky. He missed me!
Hope the rest of your day proceeded better than the second half of yesterday did. {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
OK Miss Maggie--- I have now told 2 of the 5 grown kidlets what is going go happen-- and they agree--#1 I must sell this house--no looking back-- It is way too big for me--I need a small unit with my own laundry facilities--and Himself will be 96 so should only move once--into the Lodge--and I will be in town to visit him--His hearing aids re not working--Oh-I took the new mower back to the store where I bought it--They take returns up to 7 days after purchase and they refunded my money--AND YOU WON $$$$--Isn't that exciting??--Oh--For the next 3 weeks , the Hair Day will; be Wednesday--because she has a procedure being done at our hospital every Thursday , now for a few more weeks--So much going on now --- LOLO-- Changes--LOL-- But-- One day we shall meet--I know that!--Hugs, Lynda
DeleteIt sounds as if the Lodge would be a good option for Himself -- he's already familiar with the lay of the land, so to speak, and the people. Perhaps he could move their sooner rather than later. You don't have to buy something in town right away -- maybe renting is a better option while you decide. We found that settling my dad into his retirement community before we cleared out and sold the house worked for us. He wasn't around to "supervise" as the house emptied out. He settled in very quickly, and we still laugh that all his life he was just a regular guy but he was very social and popular with the other seniors.
ReplyDeleteYes--- I agree-- He will settle in and eventually enjoy the Loge--and I shall rent a place--a townhome I am thinking-- Lynda
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