And some of the kids were out yesterday--and guess what?--Of course they want us to re-list this house--sell it--- But----Where would we ever go?--This IS our home and we love it here--So---here we go again--I really hate the thought of real estate folks going thru this house AGAIN--- really turns me off--- and AGAIN, where would we move?--
I need to have the plan--to do whatever I am able for as long as I can----and I must tell my children the plan---because, to me, it feels right----but-------Is it right???????? When one is "Ageless"---one doesn't necessarily live in a long term "HOME"---does one?--- Lord love a Duck-------Maybe I need to be braver than I believe and stronger than I seem---- AND SMARTER ----It just feels right, to stay where we are right now---
Sis, did you respond to the email and ask them about her disposition, etc? It might be a good idea, but it would be more responsibility...
ReplyDeleteSelling the house? Maybe. Tell those kids what you would want in a new place and let them do the looking! After all, they're the ones that suggested it!
Beautiful day here! Mix of sun and clouds. It's due to be 24.444C here (76F)! For the first time this year, I am wearing shorts. Found a pair that actually fit. Have a pair of pants to exchange for a smaller size, though. I have given away so many nice clothes that were just too big, including a lovely dress I wore to a wedding.
Such is life. We just need to roll with it, live in the moment and go with our feelings. How does adopting another dog make you feel...uneasy, warm and cozy? Whatever...go with your feelings. That's your guidance. True of the house and potential move, too.
Try to have a great day! {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
Well I fill out the questionnaire-- no reply yet--but, its really not the best idea I guess--- I do miss old big Beau but this pooch could come with all kinds of problems--Who knows? Good idea--- Tell the kids to look for a place for us-- (LOL--They never would!) -You sound like me with clothing that is too big-hard to find much that fits me right now --No Maggie, I do not think I could adapt to another house-Fred could not for sure-and for sure, no -one is going tgo help me move--such is life isnt it?-- bugs my dear friend-- PS--It was a beautiful day here to-day _Big hugs, Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I never got my nap in yesterday either. Had a call from my daughter - her basement was flooded. So, off we went. Thankfully she has a neighbor who likes to help her, he was there already. It was good that Tom didn't have to clean it all up by himself. His back is now bothering him. As for moving, I think you know what's best. I agree with Maggie above. If the children are really set on your living elsewhere, they should do the searching and they should manage the selling. You are a very wise person and only you can know what's best for you and himself. I wonder if a move would trouble him too much at this point! As for another dog, it's up to you to know how much you can take on. Right now I feel bad for my Daisy because she is not getting all the attention she needs! But she loves me anyway! Have a good day.
ReplyDeleteKathy--Yu are right----Our children have all the advice but there would be no help--=I know they mean well well I'm not even sure about thAt--LOL) and I guess it will be Lopez alone , for now-- hugs, Lynda
DeleteI add my voice to the two above me: you'd consider the move if they can find an appropriate place to move TO. Last year they had you looking at places that were so wrong for seniors (stairs! basements! hazardous walkways! And oh, let's not forget the one with NO HEAT!).
ReplyDeleteAs far as the German Shepherd, please trust that the universe will find a loving home for her, perhaps with a young family that doesn't already have a tiny, possessive tyrant running the home. Your loving heart says "yes," but please, this is a graceful "no."
You are so right--I looked at some pretty rough places last year-- very discouraging--Thanks for reminding me-- Lynda
Delete**SIGH** Kids . . . they think they know what’s best, but the truth is . . . YOU and HIMSELF do. So keep following your gut. It’s guided you right so far. And IF and WHEN the time would come to list . . . again . . . you’ll know.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter, who is NOT a realtor, even ‘offered to sell our house for us for 50% commission’. What the what?? LOL No reply to that one except a hard NO. OY
Both my kids think we should sell, too. But neither of us want to. We are comfortable. If we need help with something we get help. And we’re fine! Sheesh. If it feels right to stay, then that’s right. That’s how I feel.
As for the German, well . . . I think sereanasea is right on . . . trust that the universe will find her a loving forever home. Right now you have your hands full w/Lopez and Himself!
You ARE brave, and strong, and SMART. We didn’t get to be our ages, NOT being smart, after all.
Hugs
Barb
1crazydog
LOLOL--- So Barb--Your kids sound like our kids--"What the what" for sure!--but--it made me laugh-- but I feel better knowing its not only my grown kids--Your kids think yu should sell also--I guess they are all the same eh?--WHY?????? --Thank yu for sharing that--Lynda-
DeleteDecisions, decisions. Always difficult and only you can make them in the end. As for another dog, my question for you to think about is this -with all of the maintenance, housework, etc that you have to do, as well as the caretaking of an aging husband with health issues, and the fact that you already have a dog that requires a fair amount of attention, and a cat, is another dog and all that entails a good idea?
ReplyDeleteSelling the house has been tried and thought about, and you decided to stay in your house. At this point, if you were to move, I think your children would prefer that you move somewhere where maintenance and some services are provided, which makes sense since you and himself are both over 80. So, the question is, are you ready to do that? And are the kids going to help you find a new place and get rid of things, etc., etc.?
I do not envy you the decision making on where to live. Aging and all that comes with it creates a set of problems that do not always have happy solutions, and quite frankly, it all sucks at times. Hang in there and continue to do the best that you can. You are an amazing woman!
Yu are great!!!-NO --the kids will never help--sad eh?-- At this point it just seems easier to sty in "OUR HOME"==as for the dog---I have asked for more info--probably not a good idea right now Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda! I say stay there if you want and you are able to manage well. Ahh! The doggie! What is her name? You would be the best mom. Get more details to help with your decision. I hope your day is going well. It is cloudy and 68 in Ohio. Rain and storms coming in tomorrow. Enjoy your day!
ReplyDeleteYes I need more details on the dog-- it was sunny here today and I got more fertilizer on the lawn over the septic bed-- I hear rain is on the way tho--Lynda
DeleteNot saying what you should do, just sharing a personal experience of situation in our family as possibly something to think about.
ReplyDeleteGrandmother, 13 years younger than Grandfather, developed early-onset dementia in her mid-60's. A few years later the Grandparents and my parents, along with the 5 of us children, were forced to move from our former rural setting due to 'progress' (snort, snort).
Grandmother became more disoriented in her new home and couldn't understand whose house it was. After surgery for a prolapsed bladder along with a hysterectomy, her dementia sped up tremendously. Behavior became very erratic and unpredictable and hygiene was very poor. Her alternate reality came up with many bizarre stories and lots of crying.
At the point where she needed nursing home care, she and my Grandfather shared a room at that facility and when she no longer recognized him and deteriorated physically on top of mentally requiring placement in another wing, he moved back into their house and Dad drove him to the nursing home daily to visit her.
Not having any children in our case we have no one telling us what to do and no one to take responsibility for us, if necessary. Mixed bag of another type of decision-making here. We have made modifications to our home of 40 years (inside & outside) to accommodate our needs and planned future ones if needed. Both of us have long-term-care insurance policies that cover in-home as well as live-in facillities care.
((((hugs)))) Tough times call for tough people to deal with tough decisions!!!. ((((hugs))))
PHOENIX1949
Wow! What a story! --We have raised 5 wonderful children in this house--educated them all very well--now the 3 that live in town do not help very much with their dad--I just wish once in a week, one of them might take him out for coffee or something--but that doesn't happen--So-- moving to me seems almost an impossible chore right now-plus I know it would be so hard on himself-- You guys are so good to help me out here with all my thoughts-- Lynda -
DeleteJust read through everyone's above comments to you - and most seem to feel that this is not your kids' decision to make about moving. It is yours - and unfortunately, Fred can't help you make the decision or even help you move. I know I don't want to move, even though I get overwhelmed with all there is to do living in a big home with several acres to mow....but I love my house and all the memories that I shared here with my DH. Having to get the house ready for a realtor to show makes me shudder! I think I am making progress on decluttering and getting rid of some stuff, but am in no position to have people come tromping through giving my home a critical walk through. Once I feel I can't manage by myself, I might change my tune - but as long as I feel strong enough and healthy enough, I am staying put. As for the dog - you would be a great mom for him/her - but I don't think it would be a great home for the dog. Not trying to be cruel, but think about Himself and his cane, and little Lopez getting less attention and the poor new dog having to compete for you - and then there is Sushi - poor new pup might be afraid of cats or Sushi might resent the new dog and start some strange behaviors - like peeing outside of her litter box (happened with one of my son's cats) - just saying - don't think about just how much you would love a new pup, but consider all the rest of your household and how stressful it might be for them - and especially for the newcomer who deserves a good home where he/she can just move in and be "top" dog in the new home. Bottom line, it is so overwhelming to have to make all these decisions when you have so much already going on! Hugs to you dear friend! Be strong!
ReplyDeleteSandra--- good advice--Yes, this is our home , as you say, the memories make it our home--and I have to agree with yu about a new dog , wanting to be top dog--- and Fred's cane is awful--Thank yu for setting me on the straight and narrow here-I do always think of you alone in your home and yu manage very well---Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda, I read through the comments of other friends. The places you looked at before sounded anything but desirable including no heat. It sounds like you have already made the choice to stay.... Enjoy your beautiful home. Hire help as needed.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion on dog...which you didn't ask for....dog will find a loving home. Lopez is portable while another shepherd....not so easy to tote around. As other friends mentioned...there's the cane situation, there's Lopez being a one person dog etc. Could be a lot of turmoil in your home and for you, Fred, Lopez, Sushi and a new dog. You have a lot on your plate with the property and Fred's temperament. Do as you please but there will always be a dog tugging at your heart and needing a home. IF, as an example, you had to move to an assisted living facility....would one of your kids take the shepherd? If you got ill..would one of your kiids care for the shepherd and Fred? Do as you feel led. You are very strong, loving, kind and more. Life changes..nothing stays the same. Wishing you peace in your choices.
Hugs and blessings
Marge/St.Louis
Yes Marge--I appreciate yer advice--no dog for now-- and we are staying here--moving Himself would be so hard on him---and yu know, i do love our home-- Thank yu for helping me out here-Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda: With the way himself is not in a good place and will probably get worse is the future, you have already stated you're not sure how long he can stay at home. It certainly would not be good for him to move to another house that he wouldn't know and could not help with. I think you want to do more decluttering of the house to prepare for the future but no moves right now. Re the dog, I am on your side about getting but you need more information on the dog - e.g - temperament, why available, life she has lived til now etc. If you decide to move are those same kids going to help pack, clean, move everything, unpack, etc.? Have a good night. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteNo Brenda--Those kids with all the advice will never help me move--We are going to stay here--I just have a bad feeling that Himself will not be with me very much longer--I agree--moving him would be very hard on him--Thank yu Brenda--Lynda
DeleteI don't know the answer, Lynda, but I do know life isn't worth staying with someone who I am not happy with. My boyfriend and I just had a huge fight and he stormed off. He wants to move to North Carolina. I told him to just GO. He says he's driving there all night and getting a post office box. All day at work I thought of all the things that are "not right" here. But I refuse to cry over it. Good riddance!
ReplyDeleteYes he sounds weird--the boyfriend-- I am sorry about the fight--Dad used to tell me, "There are lots of fish in the sea"---- --- find one that worships you-- Lynda
DeleteOh, gee, everyone has good advice about everything, and in the end, it's YOU and Himself that have to live with any decision. I liked what Brenda Jackson said about how hard it would be for Himself to have to deal with a new place. You are the one who has to decide, and so far, trusting your gut and finding local programs to help have worked.
ReplyDeleteAs for the German, well, you've had the breed before, and you know the challenges, and you have sensible questions. When I first became aware of Ember and her littermates I told myself it wasn't wise, at my age, and a lab is a big breed, like a German. I took a long time deciding, but having decided, there's no going back. She's with me as long as we both are this side of the turf! And that would truly complicate any issues about moving.
So many things to think about. Prayers and warm thoughts in your decision making, including the decision to NOT decide, if that's the right path for now!
Hugs,
Barb
OKM
I love that yu took the time to talk about all of this-Thanks Barb!--As for the house--We are staying---- not sure about another dog---a lot to think about as yu know--- Hugs Barb-Lynda
DeleteGood morning!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone! You are making the right decision to stay. Himself would struggle so much and you will not have the help that you need to move. You love your house and it brings wonderful memories. At our age, that is what brings us joy!!!!
Have a beautiful day. It’s cold and blustery here in Idaho.
Jacquie
Jacquie so good to hear from yu--Yes I know that yu are right--We are staying--Lynda
Delete