Dear everyone reading this blog--Things have gone from bad to worse here-- so--for to-day---I will just leave blogging--It seems I have no support in taking care of himself--kind of a crazy situation! --- my husband is not happy and blames it all on me--- and to him I am the bad person-- the wife!---Some of my children believe all he says too-and it makes life pretty hard --
A good thing that happened to-day however, is that a neighbour came and ploughed the driveway--I thought it was God Himself-- LOL-- (We had about 7 inches of snow overnight)--and--Son#2 comes to-morrow--that should help me a lot-
I am trying to stay strong--hard tho-
Lynda
Oh my . . . sending hugs your way! I wish I knew how to help you more.
ReplyDeleteStay safe.
I am so sorry Lynda, particularly the part about not getting support from the family. Are the family members that live close by not seeing what is happening? Is there some type of Social Services in your area that could provide some help? Do take care of you.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs ((( ))) and what support I can from this distance! I do hope some help comes through for you... does your town have any senior services, like respite care?
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this. Prayers for you and Himself that all will work out for the best.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Lynda and sending you thoughts and prayers. I wish I could be there to help you in some way but know that you have so many people who love you here in the blogger world. I know that money is tight but could you possibly have a care giver come in to help with himself at least one day a week? Or maybe you need to insist that your children come regularly to give himself something to focus on other than you. However, I do know that our adult children still see us as the parents they had when they were young, not the parents who are in need of a little more help these days. Take care and know that you have our support.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for you, Lynda! That's about Himself. Happy, though, that you have help for all that snow.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope and pray that tomorrow will be better for you.
Maybe you'll still get a chance to play the piano or take a nap.
{{{HUGS}}}
Your kids could use a good spanking. Take videos of Himself when he acts mean or nuts! Send that to your slow to learn kids! Bull to them !
ReplyDeleteOH Lynda, first, sending ((((HUGS)))) It seems so trite to say hang in there, because you have been for a long time.
ReplyDeleteI do believe anonymous' suggestion of videotaping Himself and sending it to your non-believing children should open their eyes. I am sorry that they are not a source of support. I took care of my parents but THIS is far more intimate . . . your husband. I pray that your kids' eyes are opened and lend a hand.
I do not know how home health works in Canada, but YOU need some respite from this so YOU remain as healthy as possible.
HUGS, prayers, good thoughts. Glad your neighbor helped out by plowing.
xo
barb
1crazydog
I agree with some others that you tape/video the episode and send to your non-believing children. The ones living close by should be coming to visit to see and help out. You need to get support somehow. Alzheimer society should be able to give some support or names to call or perhaps you have V O N or similar? Be very careful he doesn't get violent as they can turn even though you would never suspect it. Good luck. Hope one of the boys can visit.
ReplyDeleteThis breaks my heart, that your adult children are in such denial and so quick to blame you for something that is completely beyond anyone's control. I hope Son #2 will actually be staying with you for at least a couple of days so he can see what you're going through. It seems that so many people experiencing cognitive decline can keep it together (conversation, emotions) for a short period and can give the illusion of being in control, but can't sustain it for hours on end, and especially not in the latter part of the day. It doesn't seem that help will be coming from the family, so please consider contacting whatever senior support services are available and tell them you need help. We are all thinking of you and hoping for some way to resolve these issues as Himself continues to decline.
ReplyDelete(((Lynda))) big hugs. Know that we understand, we love you and wish we were closer to help. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Time to check on outside resources. Perhaps contact his physician.
ReplyDeleteAs others have suggested...
get some respite help. You can't keep doing this alone. Time to lay down the law with the boys!
I am glad to hear you had plowing help and 1 son is helping with that.
Play your piano and be good to YOU.
HUGS DEAR LYNDA
Sorry to hear what is happening. Just know we all care for you and are thinking of you. I wish that I was closer and could help you. Stay strong. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteLynda, my heart is breaking for you. I feel just like the others that read your blogs every day - wishing so much that there was something I could do to help you! You are definitely fighting an "uphill" battle with your kids! One of these days, they will see the real picture. In the meantime, they see you as the strong one who can handle everything! They do not realize how this is wearing on you. Please take care of yourself - don't let this day get you down. I hope that tomorrow Fred is better. Perhaps the blow to his head has made his dementia worse. That is what happened to my mom. She was crossing the street and was hit by a car and the blows to her head made her dementia 10 times worse than it was originally! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Lynda. Glad to know Son #2 will be there soon. Hugs!
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteSending ❤️❤️❤️❤️ And {{hugs}}!! Eissa7
ReplyDeleteHugs Lynda, the video is a good idea. Sending prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this is going on.
ReplyDeleteSome things I would do were I in that position:
Speak with local health/social services about what help you can get. Even if there's a wait, sign up.
Consult a family law attorney. It may sound extreme, but if some of your children do not believe your husband has diminished capacity/dementia, it would be wise to protect yourself from any false accusations down the line.
Meet with the children who do understand and know what is going on; be sure that they and only they are power of attorney for you and your husband when the time comes.
I've been through taking care of my own parents, and have learned the hard way that 'yes, that can happen.'
I hope things improve in terms of feeling supported.
I believe I would go out of town, and see which one of the boys wants to
ReplyDeletetake care of Dad for a week, see how they like it when he acts up with them.