Here are Himself and I, over at Son#1's home-- He had invited us all over for the best dinner ever! His home is so bright and lovely, over looking the lake.-- Son#1 and Son#2 loaded "himself " onto the handy dandy wheel chair and lifted him from the car, down a hill, to the house-- It was wonderful with no chance of himself falling-
And Son #2, the pilot, insisted he put our half a tree up--said it wasn't Christmas without a tree-
Son#2 returns to Toronto this afternoon--He drives 2 hrs to Sudbury and will catch a flight there. It sure has been wonderful to have him and finally one of these children can see and understand how difficult it is to deal with himself-This man-(Himself)-is a very very intelligent man who really does know everything and is used to telling people how to be healthy, and--being a Doctor--and--AND--BEING CHINESE , he really believes he knows everything--and he lives with me, his wife, (who is not Chinese-) --and who does not care if stuff is not perfect-- that pretty much , I can "Make Do."
-Chinese Men do NOT enjoy being told how to do stuff--!--- so----- All of this creates frustration on his part--AND on my part---
I shall leave you all for to-day--Himself has already told Son#2 that he feels he will die soon, so Son#2 should get up here in the VERY NEAR future-This has become a real fear of is! ----- I had to add that, as it is a real concern of his and something I cannot talk him out of.
Until to-morrow--"keep yer chin up"-- (Dad said that all the time to me!)_
HOW WONDERFUL! You and Himself had a nice outing. Wow, Himself really did a bang up job on his face. **SIGH**
ReplyDeleteWell, in my experience, I do believe people have an innate sense of when they are declining, and it’s good Himself told son #2 to come and see him soon. DOESN’T mean things are imminent, though. That was my experience w/Dad, anyhow.
HUGS, hand in there and I am happy for you that son #2 can see what you’re going through. Maybe he’ll pass the word along to your other children!
HUGS, blessings, peace
Barb
1crazydog
Barb He tells me hourly that he is going to die--or--that he wants to die- that his life is terrible--sad eh?-Lynda
DeleteYour son's home does look lovely. You and Himself both look happy, too. I knew that at least those two kids understood how hard it is for you to care for Himself. That's why they help with yard stuff, food, etc.
ReplyDeleteIt must be difficult, to say the least, worrying about Himself passing on. We all do it, though. When it does happen (hopefully a long time yet), you will have the support of your kids and grandkids, neighbors and all of us!
My $ should come later today into my account so I can pay bills and shop. At least for a few days I am flush.
Be happy, honey. That my wish song from your last poster is
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=my+wish+rascal+flatts copy and paste that link to hear it.
Did you get the recipe I added to comments yesterday or the day before for the salmon loaf? My mom used to do something similar as patties.
{{{HUGS}}}
Funny how we wait for the $$$ to get into the account--There always used to be $$$ sitting there--not anymore--LOL---Yes I did receive the recipe and thank yu so very much--I am going to try to make that-Lynda
DeleteGorgeous photos. I'm so happy and thankful your pilot son stayed there for a few days and were able to perceive, hopefully, what you are going through with your DH. The closer we are to 100 years, the closer we are to dying? Have a beautiful day.
ReplyDeleteYes he tells me hourly that he is dying--sad eh?--- So nice that yu wrote- Lynda
DeleteI’m glad things are getting better. It is very helpful having some of the kids around to help . Love and Hugs. Dorothy
ReplyDeleteThank goodness son #2 came-- I enjoyed having him so much-Lynda
DeleteLovely pictures! Glad you got a tree . . .it always feels like Christmas to me once the tree is up. Glad you had a couple of days with help and understanding. Make that call about getting some help soon. . . don't put it off. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteI guess in Canada there is a very long waiting list for help with people with Dementia-- I may ask a neighbour-- Lynda
DeleteI'm glad Son #2 was there for a few days to see for himself how challenging it is for you to care for himself. I hope this means that your children will offer to help even more. I find myself feeling a bit guilty for not helping more when my mom and dad were alive but after daddy passed away I was at moms at least a couple times a week and while she was still driving, if it was a bigger trip or a doctor's visit, I always picked her up! Have a great day today!
ReplyDeleteYU were good to see that yer Mom needed help--and did it-- Lynda
DeleteSo glad you had a good time at your other son’s, and that you were helped this time around. Take extra care of yourself, with this dangerous winter coming in.
ReplyDeleteNice to hear from yu--Lynda
DeleteWe put up just a few Christmas items. In 2024 when it's our turn to host my extended family, we will pull out much more from the closets.
ReplyDeleteThis week our high temps have been in the 80's Fahrenheit here in Central Texas. My sister and brother-in-law hosting our extended family gathering this year live in a small home on 100+ acres and are hoping we can spend our visit outdoors (12/18). We bring gifts for family 18 years and younger. Cash will be ours to the great nieces, 15, 10 & 3, and great nephew, 9. The twenty+ adults can contribute to a voluntary money collection container. Each is welcome to make a recommendation for what to do with the collection, then we vote to decide which to do.
Baking and fudge-making on for this weekend for gift baskets for the yard guy and mobile dog groomer. Both have expressed their appreciation for sugary homemade treats (neither has a weight issue).
Have you considered that instead of a fear of death, Himself is accepting of this and attempting to prepare his loved ones? He may, or may not, want to discuss his plans/preferences for end-of-life preparations. I found with my Mom that when I stopped trying to change the subject (for my confort) and told her that she would be greatly missed, she opened up with her plans for her services and burial that enabled her to check this off her to-do list. Your meme on letting go pretty much sums it up.
Good ideas on how to spend Xmas-- and true--maybe he is "fishing" for a talk on dying-- I never thought of that-Lynda
DeleteI am glad one of the kids has seen first hand what you are dealing with.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people have premonitions, so I hope you are prepared....wish we could crawl thru the computer lines and give you a hug...if anyone deserves one, it is you.
I think sometimes David has the same feeling. He never expected to live this long. I just pray and keep on "truckin'" as Daddy used to say.
Just to hear your ideas ,makes me feel not so alone in all this-Thsank yu-Lynda
DeleteI'm so happy you got an outing to sons house AND pilot son came to help for a few days. Hoping pilot son will come more often with his dads plea. Glad you put a tree up...festive for the season. I do hope you get some respite care as you need a break. Big hugs Lynda
ReplyDeletePlease play your piano. A nap too.
-yes the piano helps-Lynda
DeleteLike the other commenters, I, too, am grateful you had Son #2 there for a few days so he could see, close at hand, how much help is needed with Himself. You do look happy in Son #1's bright cheery home, too, and with your half a tree. Here's hoping for some smooth sailing days ahead.
ReplyDeleteHi again Barb-- Lynda
DeleteI do believe that some people sense when the time is coming to say the final goodbye. My memory is still so vivid of my mother's last day -- I had called her (we lived in different states), and we had our usual catching-up conversation, but several times, she said, "I love you." I asked her if she was feeling okay (because I was usually the one who said "I love you" first), and she said yes, she just wanted me to know.
ReplyDeleteAfter we hung up, I went into the family room where my husband was reading. He looked up and asked me what was wrong, and I said, "I know this is weird to say, but I don't think Mama (age 94) is going to be with us much longer." He asked why, I told him about the conversation and how it just felt off. He pretty much told me I was reading too much into it. But still, I went upstairs and looked through my clothes and travel things to see what I would need to pack if I had to pack in a hurry, feeling guilty for thinking that way and hoping it wouldn't happen.
At just around midnight, the phone rang, and it was a nurse calling from the hospital to let me know my mother had had a heart attack and didn't make it. After I hung up, of course I was sobbing, telling my husband that she must have felt it coming and was trying to protect me. So yes, maybe Himself is preparing the family in his own way.
awwww whatta story-- Im sure she was preparing yu --- lynda
DeleteI'm glad your pilot son was there to witness what is going on and what you have to put up with. And I would think him & son #1 talked so that's good. Don't keep putting off talking to the Alzheimers Society to see what help/assistance they can provide. Remember that this is what they do and they won't think anything negative about the situation. And hopefully they can provide assistance getting himself back to get his stitches out next week. Keep smiling!
ReplyDeletehi Brenda-- I have tried the Alzheimers--There is a very long waiting list--- so good to hear from you-Thank yu-Lynda
DeleteSon #1's home looks beautiful. Sorry to hear that Son #2 is leaving. I know that you will feel lost without him tomorrow. It is so nice to have someone with you who helps make your life easier. Just be thankful that he was there and helped you so much! And remember not to argue or disagree with Fred - no matter what he says. It is futile. The dementia takes all reasoning away from them and they just become more confrontive when you argue with them. Say OK - if that's the way you feel.....and move on. I learned this the hard way with my very Alzheimer's mom. I guess I was lucky that I didn't have to go thru this with my beloved husband. No dementia, no disease, no disabilities - just here one day and gone the next. Hard to accept or understand, but thankful he just died quickly- with no warning. I don't think I will ever get over the shock.
ReplyDeleteI remember when yer husband passed Sandra--so shocking-- How are your cats?--Lynda
DeleteLove and light and care to you and your family ❤️ ~Alicia363
ReplyDeleteAlicia--It's you--- Thank yu ---- good to see yer name on here--How yu be?-Lynda
Delete