Wednesday, January 26, 2022
Life in "the Golden" years!
23 comments:
First of all, you need to enable 3rd Party cookies. That will help fix your Whoops errors. So if you're on Firefox, turn off your Enhanced Tracking Protection. Near Comment, Click where it says Google Account and an arrow, you see the three ways to comment: Select profile... A) use your Google account, so that there is a profile picture next to your comment OR B) use your name line and then put in your User name, whatever name you want people to know you by, the second line for a website is optional OR C) be ANONYMOUS. When you have finished typing your comment, please copy it into your clipboard (your computer memory), in case there is a problem. Then you can paste it in again if necessary. Some comments disappear. Click the Publish button when you are done, you may see a box that says, I am not a robot ----Click there--then click -Publish. Do not check the Notify me button, unless you want contacted by email whenever anyone leaves a comment on this blog. Come back again soon, to see if there are any replies to your comment, and to join again in the discussion. If you do not see the comments, you need to click the title of the blog, to separate that blog from the main page or click Comments at the bottom of the blog, either way. It's okay if you double post, the extra ones will be removed soon if they are exactly the same as one before. Thank you!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
So far I am lucky that my guy isn't showing any signs yet. . .his father had Alzheimer's and it scares us. The best I can offer you today is a virtual hug and a listening ear.
ReplyDeleteDonna in NH
So sorry to hear about your night. Unfortunately, my friends who have husbands with dementia only tell me how it gets worse. For whatever reason they seem more active after dark and only sleep when the sun comes up. Sending you lots of hugs and praying Himself is more like Himself today.
ReplyDeleteSending love and hugs...as you said, Fred is not Himself and what he is saying is not true...try to remember this!! I am sorry that this is going on; prayers that a more stable mind returns! ❤️ Eissa7
ReplyDeletePrimary advice from our dealing with my father's dementia is to not correct him (agitates more), pray for tons of patience and tell oneself repeatedly this is not him, it's the dementia. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs Lynda. Know that Fred doesn't mean what he said and TRY to let it roll off your back. Dimentia seems to become more active at night. We're here to listen and support you.
ReplyDeleteHugs dear Lady!
Sorry that you are having problems with Himself. He doesn't realize what he is saying and definitely doesn't mean it. Try and get some rest today. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are having to deal with this. Would himself consider getting checked out by a doctor? The answer is probably no since he IS a doctor, but it might be worth a try. Something to talk with him about when he's truly himself! My prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and prayers for you today ❤️ I know the words hurt. After dealing with my mother's dementia for a long time, they do seem to be more confused at night. My mom had an 'ugly' panic attack in front of her doctor one day and he called me at home later to tell me he needed to put her on an anxiety medication for night-time. Believe me, it helped. I know it's a hard journey. It helps to talk about it. I hope you both have a better day 💛
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you are going through this. Just try and imagine the good times and block out the words that he really doesn’t mean. Maybe find a local support group of others going through the same thing.
ReplyDeleteTIAs? Mini strokes? That kind of behavior was the first warning sign of a bigger stroke to come.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who owns an adult family home, and this type of behavior is very common with cognitive decline -- often at the same time of day. The term used to refer to this is "sundown syndrome." It would be very helpful to have Himself checked out by a doctor, with you in the room along with him and not on his own (where he could say all is okay and he doesn't need any help). Maybe when you call to make the appointment, tell them it looks as if he's sundowning so they know what they'll be dealing with. I've learned from my friend that the daily medication (adjusted to the individual) preferred by her psychiatric nurse is Seroquel, as it helps calm the patient without giving them that drugged-up effect. This really helped my father in his last years, too, as he started sundowning at age 96 and had three more peaceful years after beginning the medication.
ReplyDeleteAlso...just wondering, if you're still on the list for the retirement community they were building closer to town? I seem to remember a Sparkblog back in the day.
Oh no, so sorry to hear this. He really is not himself when this happens, I wonder if he would agree to a doctor appt when he comes back around for awhile. It is so hard to deal with this alone….
ReplyDeleteHuh . . . so sorry to hear that. Have to agree w/the advice about not correcting him. (well, I’d correct about loving him, but otherwise . . . ) as that really does ratchet up the agitation.
ReplyDeleteIt is soooo hard to keep in mind that what they’re saying is not THEM, but dementia talking.
Mom used to sleep a LOT during the day, and consequently was up A LOT @ night. So, that meant I was, because she wandered and I was afraid she’d leave the house. That was tough.
ABSOLUTELY agree with trying to find a support group, even if it’s virtual. It helps.
Just so much to deal with and think about. Sending Lots of HUGS and PRAYERS and know you have lots who care about you and are pulling for you.
DO give thought to going with Himself to get checked out by the Dr. Perhaps an antianxiety med would help.
HUGS and squeezes to you.
Barb
1crazydog
Yes, I saw others comment about "sundown syndrome"... I dealt with it in my dad, in his final phase. It's so hard to see someone you love and have seen them so strong in times past slip away like this. Prayers and strength vibes headed your way. If this starts happening more frequently (normal pattern), you may have some hard choices to make, and might need more help in dealing with it than just trying to handle it on your own.
ReplyDeleteAre the sons up to date on these occurances?
Sorry about that, Will say a little prayer!
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry to hear about your night. Unfortunately I don't have any experience to draw from except my grandmother about 35 years ago. She lived with my aunt and had to be put in a home after a short time. Fred doesn't mean what he says and that is probably your only consolation. You are probably going to have to deal with some stuff mentioned above. And remember you have 3 kids in town that will have to help you out with any issues. Good luck. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteYes, sundowner's syndrome. I think maybe it's time for some help for him. Take him to a neurologist. Get the whole family involved. My mom had dementia in her later years, we kept her calm with anti anxiety drugs and yes, Seroquel. She didn't have THAT kind of dementia, though, she just was like "not there." Didn't know what she had done all day, couldn't really have a conversation with her.
ReplyDeleteHave you considered enrolling him in an adult daycare? That would keep him busy and perhaps wear him out so that when he comes home, he will sleep. Maybe encouraging him to come to bed earlier. I think eventually it will get to be too big for just YOU to handle. Time to have a family conference.
I know what it feels like. My husband had broken his neck and had been put on strong pain pills while he waited to be operated on but he started seeing things, had to be tied down, started screaming at me, I went home crying. He came out of it though, when they had to postpone the surgery.
Has he been checked for a UTI? Elderly get those a LOT and they become unhinged. My mom once slugged the neurologist I took her to. He told me she probably had a UTI. Sure enough, once we got antibiotics into her, she was herself again. Whenever she got those, and was in the hospital, would call us every 5 minutes saying they were holding her there against her will and to come get her. We had to take the phone off the hook.
Both are now passed, one for 11 years, one for going on 9. Have had some stressful times, for sure.
Hugs. It's very hard.
Oh, and often times they don't show any symptoms of UTI.
DeleteI am sorry Lynda...he probably is having reaction to being hemmed in all day and not getting out. Perhaps take him for a ride? I have my hands full with being a caregiver, but at least he has health issues not mental ones.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. But, as a few have said, this is common with dementia of most varieties. Unfortunately, to the person, what they are saying is absolutely the truth. My mom said some very ugly things and my grandmother actually physically attacked, convinced that my sister stole from her and was going to kill her. So I agree, correcting him generally will agitate the situation. I lied to my mom regulary; like if she said she was sure someone was trying to break in I'd go along with it and check all the doors and windows, turn on the outside lights and say we must have scared them away. It helped her and me both. (Walked through dementia with my mom and grandma.) At some of the training we attended they explained it that often the person has a miscue in sensory input so what they understand is different than the "real" reality. So if we correct them they believe we are lying and draw conclusions from that ramping up the anger and fear. And generally there is a lot of fear for them, particularly when they are still okay enough to realize they are losing their cognition part of the time.
ReplyDeleteI know this is just the hardest thing for you, and taking care of yourself is more important than ever ... getting rest, eating right, hopefully having your children or someone come over to hang out and you getting out for breaks. The stress is very hard on the health of the one caring for the person. I so hope you can find a support group, get help from your children (it helps to tell them specifically what you need done ... get your groceries for you, shovel some of the snow for you, spend time with Himself while you get out for respite, etc. Often they want to help but don't know what to do and will respond better if you tell them a specific task.) Hard as it is, you probably need to talk with your children and your physician about what is going on so that you can have your husband checked out to be sure what's causing the dementia on the off chance it's something that can be fixed ... medication mix problem, etc. If it's not something that cannot be remediated and will progress it helps to understand as much as possible and start now figuring out where to get help and what to do as it worsens. Your children may resist knowing it, and if they spend only limited time with him they may not fully realize what's going on.
Sorry this is so long, but I am concerned for you both, having walked through it and seeing the pain my dad lived with. He said he was losing more and more every day. Hugs to you.
PS If you think Himself won't go to the doctor, you might have to lie. (Our Alzheimer educator called this 'therapeutic lies.') Let the doctor know ahead of time what's up, detailing the issues. Tell your husband YOU need to be seen and are worried, and could he please come in with you for the appointment.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog and all the comments, I don't have much to add. I will tell you I have experienced a lot with seven family members having struggled with some form of dementia and my last job (Home Instead Senior Care) I primarily worked with dementia clients for three years. I do agree with getting him to the Dr. for a checkup and if you need to, follow the suggestion that RaeRaeLee66 gave you about him going with you to support you as you are worried, Do whatever you need to do to get him checked out.
ReplyDeleteKeeping both of you in my prayers and in my heart.
Beth M.
Sorry to hear about your night, it must be so hard to hear those things,you are a wonderful wife :) hugs
ReplyDelete