Life is busy isn't it?-- I called our daughter in Ohio, and she doesn't believe me that her Dad is like this--said I'm not being honest --It broke my heart---
I'll keep yu posted--Any ideas???
Thursday, January 27, 2022
When nothing goes right--Go LEFT!
21 comments:
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Oh, I wish I could hug you right now. I'm so glad you called the doctor and I hope they will be able to see him sooner rather than later. As others mentioned in yesterday's comments, a UTI could be contributing. It breaks my heart that your daughter, someone who works in and is familiar with the medical field, is not supporting you in this. I would have thought that she would be the one to talk to the sons and organize some support for you. But (something my adult family home friend says is very common) no matter their profession, adult children are often in denial and won't acknowledge that a parent is declining, physically as well as mentally -- and because of this, families sometimes wait until things get really bad before they seek help. With your daughter in denial, I'm hoping at least one of the sons will help you with this -- maybe put out an SOS and tell them something's going on with Himself and you can't handle it alone. (Son #1 has experienced Himself when he was having one of his episodes -- you could remind him of that and say it's happening more often.) In any case, know that you have the support from all of us who have come to know you through your blogs -- we are there for you and you are not alone!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing all the right things, Lynda! Sending supportive vibes your way, and hoping that the test gives some answers.
ReplyDeleteWhen my Uncle was in the First stages of Dementia my Cousin his son who lives in a different state and works in medical field did not believe my Aunt until he visited and Dr.mentioned my Uncle's dementia was getting worse.
ReplyDeleteLynda, so glad you called his Dr. If it is a UTI, that could very well be the cause of his confusion. Praying they can get that checked out today. You are doing all the right things! Glad your son came out to see him. Some ppl are just going to be in denial, especially the ones who are never around to experience it. Maybe your daughter needs to go home for a visit soon? Praying for you and Himself🙏🙏
ReplyDeleteOH I completely didn’t think of a UTI. That definitely throws people into a mental melt down. I sure hope that’s the answer to the problem. I am kinda shocked @ your DD’s response. And she’s a nurse too, as I recall?? Well, most important thing iw to find out exactly what’s going on w/DH. You did the right thing calling the Dr.
ReplyDeleteSorry that the snow is so heavy.
Here for you and sending a lot of virtual hugs. And prayers.
Barb
1crazydog
Oh yes, that UTI stuff, messed my mother up, too. She would call me, to say goodbye, that she was dying, yet it was a UTI! Men get them, too. Can’t believe your daughter did not think of it. Wishing your doctor calls back, you did the Right thing!!
ReplyDeleteYes, keep us posted on Himself's health...and the rest of your tribe, too.
ReplyDeleteI heard someone say in response to, "Life is hard," "Well, it's better than 6 feet under!"
No snow hear and a bit warmer today.
Gosh, most of us cannot wait until spring!
Be safe, honey, and be happy! {{{HUGS}}}
I don't know about the UTI stuff but others do and hopefully they are right. I think your daughter doesn't believe you as she doesn't want to see what is happening. Have her talk to one of her brothers especially son #1 who was there today. You can't take any of this personally as you are doing the right things. If it's snowing that badly can one of your sons pick the bottle up? Take care and good luck.
ReplyDeleteOh Lynda, I am so sorry you are going through this horrible struggle without any support. You are doing the right things and the others just don't want to think that there is anything wrong with their parents. So they tell themselves that you are making it up not realizing that is NOT WHAT YOU WANT or NEED to hear at this time... I pray that their hearts and minds are open to realize what you are saying is TRUTH and you need help.
ReplyDeletePlease keep us posted and know that I think and pray for you and your family daily.
We all love and care about you and are here in any way we can be even if it is only to listen and support you.
May God give you all you need to deal with this situation.
Hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteYes, yesterday I mentioned the UTI and what it does to the elderly, I'm hoping that's all it is. I've experienced it firsthand. And your daughter - that makes me SO ANGRY! People need to SUPPORT YOU, not blame you. My goodness! Maybe feels guilty b/c she hasn't been out to see him firsthand.
ReplyDeleteArghhhh....frustrated FOR you!
Whoops...also, he could have had a stroke. My mom went into the hospital just fine for a stress test, and when I went to pick her up, she had had a stroke or something. Couldn't go home. They told me I'd have to scramble and find a nursing home or assisted living for her. I had to do that. She became like a 2 year old and never snapped out of it, I had to do it all. I'm an only child.
ReplyDeleteGlad you called Dr. and son #1. Glad you have help. Daughter hasn't been home for a long time due to Covid so she hasn't seen dad.
ReplyDeleteHoping its something simple like UTI. Also hoping #1 son can take sample to lab for you.
We're all here for you.
Hugs dear Lynda
Hugs and hope that it is a UTI and can be cleared up. Prayers going your way.
ReplyDeleteKeep current with his Doctor and he will get himself on the right track. I can be several things going on at the same time. Lab work will help tell the story. Prayers for you and himself.
ReplyDeleteif there is some thing wrong internal it can cause all things including the mind to go out of sorts I hope he is ok stay strong sweet lady
ReplyDeleteHere's my two cents.
ReplyDeleteIf you think there's any chance it could be something originating in physial ... infection, etc., and no action is taken VERY IMMEDIATELY, you may want to have him taken to hospital (by ambulance if needed) and go in through emergency channels.
If you don't do that, I agree with others to ask your sons to get the bottle and do any running for you. Or, one of them could stay with Himself while the other drives you. Now is the time for them to step up and help you, but you may need to be very specific in asking for the help you need. Our children, for all their lives, have seen us as the ones who know all things, can solve all problems, can handle anything. They cannot see what is in front of them; that we are not as young and physically able to do all we did before. And, just like them, we need help and some comforting. They still see us as who we were when they were young even though it makes no sense.
As for your daughter...this is her dad and she's horrified, afraid, in denial so she lashed out at the messenger. She would probably do the same to your husband were you the one experiencing dementia and he the bearer of news she can't handle immediately. I was told off viciously by a niece who said nothing was wrong with my mom and I was causing problems talking like something was. She couldn't deal with it; my mom was larger than life and beloved by her grandchildren and they could hardly stand what was happening to her.
This last sounds goofy, but do it if you can. While your husband is living twenty-five years in the past, respond to him as though it is so. You won't convince him otherwise, and if you can manage it he will be calmer.
Please call for emergency help if you feel at all like you need to for your safety or your husband's. Medical personnel and police personnel are there to help and have seen it all.
I've been praying about this for you lately, and will continue. Hugs to you.
When an older person becomes dehydrated can also cause the brain to struggle to stay in the present. Again tonight, I agree with RaeRaeLee66. Talk to him as though you are living 25 years ago. Any memories he mentions could be something you can use to keep him in conversation about, and help him stay there and possibly avoid going back further.
ReplyDeleteDon't hesitate to call Emergency if anything seems worse, anything at all.
Keeping you and Himself in my prayers and in my heart.
Beth M.
So sorry that Himself is having these issues. I hope that you get the answers that can help him. Sending up some prayers for you and Himself. Hugs.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
ReplyDeleteYou need to call your daughter and put your phone on speaker when he
ReplyDeleteis ranting and screaming at you....let her hear it for herself, or record it ....something to let her know this is a real crisis....
Personally, I am praying he does not get violent....dementia does strange things to people and they are not mentally responsible but they can still hurt someone.