Seems I just get it sorted out in my mind----and someone suggests something-else----- and --- here I go again--- what to do--what to do--It just doesn't feel right--- to think too much about anything yet -- 'specially a move at this time--
Anyway, One cannot move if it doesn't feel right---- and, any move to my son's place, really is temporary----will mean another move after that--
What to do---- Do we stay----or-------Do we go?
I did get Himself to the Lodge this AM--Lopez and I have been out several times--We have an overcast day --coolish--outside --and a lot of our trees are reddish-beautiful--
So, I sound mixed up?---YES!!!!----- which tells me, to not dwell on any move at this time--- Keep on keeping this house ready to to sell---so we can downsize eventually-----
You know, its the memories in this house that keeps us here--the children growing up-the Grandchildren arriving, one by one----- Will we make new memories at our age??-----Kinda tough decisions aren't they?---
So---enough pondering--- I feel we will know what is the right time---to sell--where to go--- --I HOPE!-
Sis, of course you will know. It will all become clear once the time is right. Pay attention to how you feel about each option. Select the one that makes you feel good!
ReplyDeleteWonder what your son and other kids think of Himself moving to a memory care facility. One benefit about moving in with him is that he will see for once and for all how difficult it is for you to care for him. BUT you would have your son's help. I can see why the decision is difficult.
Beautiful weather here, too. Cool this morning, but it's due to be quite warm this afternoon and the next couple days. Lovely blue skies.
Sadie helped do two huge loads of laundry yesterday. Still have one basket-full to put away.
Already been shopping for essentials with Rebecca. She just gets weird drinks.
Lucky is crying...needing playing, probably, as we haven't done that yet.
I have a mailer envelope to sent our book to you. Will get that done within a couple days. The mailer is plastic, kinda. Will have to use a permanent marker for the address.
Will check for comments later. {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
Well Maggie--- I guess for now, this is where we will be-- Moving sounds difficult-- It was a bad day --just busy-- Lynda
DeleteYes - A bend in the road....so fitting! Life is not what we always expect. I am learning to take nothing for granted. And making the decision to move is a big one! I struggle with it when I am overwhelmed....decide it's time to move - and then I have some really good days here and decide I love it here and I don't really want to move. (Lots of bends!) Whether I go or stay, I am trying to get rid of clutter. Joined a 30 day challenge for the month of September and I am really enjoying the tasks assigned each day...5 things for 5 minutes, but I have gone over the minutes and items several times as once I get going, I don't want to stop! Took several boxes to Good Will yesterday! And I look forward to where each day will bring me! The other day was decluttering bras, panties, and socks! Oh my - I never realized I had so much underwear that I don't wear - and I think I must be a sock hoarder! hahaha! Those things were not donated....they went to the trash bin! Getting rid of purses the other day was hard, but satisfying to see some open space in my closet! Nice to get actually declutter as a contest - as it makes it fun! A final thought - you are right not to move in with your son and then have to move again - that would be very hard on Fred! Change is hard!
ReplyDeleteSeems like we are here --at least for now--Moving will be difficult--Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda. Great inserts. You KNOW I'm a big supporter of getting rid of stuff. That's not hard for me, not at all. I can't even believe how much I donated when we moved from the house to this villa. TRULY have not missed the stuff. That part you can work on now and ongoing.
ReplyDeleteI am very impressed that #2 invited you two into his home. It would give you no pressure time to sell...but...moving again, and to where? Go with your instincts, your gut feelings. Be grateful son invited you but the caveat that the space is for MIL would not make me ( just saying me ) comfortable. Do what you feel is best. Try not to dwell on it.
It's nice in St.Louis but temps heading back to 90sF for several days. That means AC.will go back on.
The STUFF insert is so true. Hard as it might be for you. Your kids will be grateful and your home will look even larger.
Have a blessed day.
Hugs
Marge
Thanks Marge--seems we are here--moving to Son#2 would be a huge move -- Lynda
DeletePHOENIX1949
ReplyDeleteAging definitely is not for sissies and yet these various crossroads are a natural part of the process for those of us to privileged enough to reach certain ages. Not easy, not simple and yet there does seem to be a 'point of clarity' when needed.
The 'stay or go' question has been on the table here off and on for several years. We live in my hometown (100, 000 at my birth in 1949, my family living on 15 acres on the edge of town) that has grown into an overpopulated city with higher taxes, higher crime, higher utility, traffic that is a daily destruction derby, etc., etc. (1 million people currently with another 1 million in the metropolitan areas that run into our city limits). Our house value is 7x more than we paid 40 years ago. I located a few newer homes in smaller communities that would give us more square footage for much less with lower tax rates, lower utility rates, etc., which make good sense financially.
Then cancer struck in April 2023 for both of us. We both respect our medical teamsl overseeing our journeys. Moving would mean switching providers -- our 'point of clarity' -- decision made to stay, for now.
((((HUGS))))
Susan, Central Texas, USA
Susan--so happy to hear from yu--That is another thing--all our DRs are here--Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I agree, you will know what to do when the timing is right. My own husband and I had this conversation just yesterday. I have been in this house for 42 years - my children were all raised here. I do have memories more than he does (only 30 years for him). But more than that, we have STUFF! Lots and lots of stuff. And our house is in need of several thousand dollars of repairs in order to sell - or we sell "as is" and get about 2/3's of it's value. Then the question - where would we go? Do we want to spend the next 1 - 2 years clearing things out, fixing things up and finding a new place to live - or do we want to live the next 1-2 years to the best of our ability. Especially with me having had so many surgeries and not even close to recovered! We will know if one day it is time for us to leave here - but we're sure this is not the time. And there is absolutely no way I would EVER live with any of my children! Today I am feeling a little better. I am making myself walk up and down the hallway every so often just to walk. I actually had a good night's sleep for the first time since my surgery! Small steps I know but I'll take the win. Hope you have a good rest of your day!
ReplyDeleteKathy--sounds like yu are getting better---- I guess we are here--for now--=LOL--Lynda
Delete
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. I totally understand. If you feel unsure about moving, then . .. . for me, that would be a sign that it’s not the right time.
I keep tossing that back and forth in my mind. DH has balance issues and there’s lots that I have to do myself, which I am grateful I can do. But for me, I’m no where near ready to wave the white flag, so will keep on keepin’ on and decluttering in the meantime. It is a HUGE decision to make.
HUGS and blessings
Barb
1cd
Barb --same here--de clutter--but stay--for now-Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda! Major decisions are so hard and stressful. I always know when the right decision hits me. Until then, I let it go. So hot in Ohio this morning. I took Tommy out early but was already too hot so we only walked a short ways. Hope your day is going well. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteYu know it was hot here also--Lynda
DeleteI had to make the decision for my dad and in the end I let him stay in his home and paid a caregiver to be with him now I am stuck trying to get rid of his home which even though it is closer to town I will never move into I do not like the home I wish that there was an easy answer to give on that one as far as the declutter that was taken care of by some squaters that got into the house they stole it all (yes charges were filed and Karma stepped in ) I must say having an adult child that needed a home is making the getting rid of the house easier if said child pays off the last bit of the loan on it so far so good on that
ReplyDeleteBest of luck but the lord will guide yu in the right decision
Hopefully the good Lord will help out --Lynda
DeleteMany heart-felt hugs, Lynda! Putting off thinking too hard and long about it is a decision in and of itself. Wishing you calm, and wisdom!
ReplyDeleteThanks Barb-Lynda
DeleteMarti here. I feel I should weigh in, take it with a grain of salt. I think you will KNOW...like, when you simply cannot do it anymore, when Fred, hate to say it...dies, or something (then the house would obviously be too big for one person), or neither of you can walk around the place anymore. Too many falls, spills, inability to do things anymore, I think those will be your sign. Why are they pressuring you? I say, spend your time NOW getting the house together with your must keep's, and then weeding out what you won't need, etc. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteYes--seems right --- to stay here for now=-Lynda
DeleteLynda, what a blessing for you and Himself! In the event something happens to one of you, you have a place for the one left to go to, at least right away, while plans can be figured out! That kind of thing can be sudden, and a place would be needed right away, no time to mosey around in a search. A safe place while thinking and pricing. Be thankful.
ReplyDeleteYes-a great idea-- I think--"S"--- --Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda: I think you will know when the time is right. And it obviously isn't now or you wouldn't be so unsure. You seem to get along well with son #2 and his family so that would be a good choice when the time comes. In the meantime, see if you can find someone or a few people that can spend time with Fred when you want to go somewhere. That would be a big help and see who can help with the lawns in summer and snow in winter. It would be hard for himself to move elsewhere. For now start getting rid of stuff to make it easier when the time comes. Play the piano and relax tonight. Take care. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteGreat advice Brenda--=Decisions eh??--Lynda
DeleteWe are in a similar situation - trying to decide our next move. For now we are staying.
ReplyDeleteIt seems a lot of us are in same position eh?--Lynda
DeleteI rather agree with Brenda. I believe with Himself's issues, it would be devastating to move. He is confused enough without adding a move
ReplyDeleteto the agenda. I got rid of everything I could, sold some, donated a lot.
I think you will know when the time comes, in the meantime, just
relax and let God handle it.
Stay strong Lynda. I know how hard it is..