Do we turn this house down and hope nether comes on the market ?-- or--Do we take a chance and buy this one, and pour some $$$ into it?--
--Life is tough isn't it?--- I need some advice--- Lord love a Duck!
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My opinion is the same as if I were in the market for a new home (and remember when I was): yes, it's so disappointing when you're hoping for "the" house and instead find "a" house. If you buy what you are not happy with now, the woes and disappointments will only grow over time. Don't give up your hopes for someone else's perfect. My advice is to stay with the familiar until you find something that absolutely is home.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anonymous 100%.
DeleteI feel it's a sign....not for you....I know it's hard when you want something but remember to be patient....wait for what is best....
DeleteI agree with anonymous too.
DeleteWell, I do not write often...but if the stairs is a threat to you....do not buy......get a good realtor and go see many if necessary. The right
ReplyDeleteplace will show itself.........You do not need steep stairs.......go for a place that would feel like home..........and safe.......
If you are not happy with it now, you will never be happy with it. If you liked the main floor layout and could live on it without ever using the basement, that is a consideration. I know you have lots of stairs in your current house, but if you are moving and downsizing, you might want to look for a house without stairs.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what others have said. If you don't love it now - it's not for you and you'd not be happy. I really want for you two to be comfortable AND happy. And I just know you'd also worry about Himself trying to go down those steps one of those times when you're walking the dogs or something. If your gut says 'Beware!' , there's a good reason to listen to it. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes a few houses to find the right one. You'll know it when you see it, and I agree with the rest of the replies. Please don't settle for the first thing. Your heath and safety, along with Himself's, is priceless and worth waiting a little bit.
ReplyDeleteOh no, no stairs for older people, way too dangerous. Even able bodied folks trip on darned stairs. Tell Realtor NO STAIRS. Don’t waste time looking at those. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGo with your what your gut is telling you, and those steep stairs are NOT for you! It sounds precarious, not only for you, but also if Himself decides to look for something on his own when you're out (hair or banana day). I thought when we were still on Spark that you were on the waiting list for an apartment in a senior complex -- what happened with that? Or even renting a home or apartment in town so the upkeep is someone else's worry. I just can't imagine buying another home at this point in life, when you're looking to downsize and not take on homeowner headaches. This is YOUR life and YOUR decision, don't let your kids bully you into something that doesn't feel right for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the first message every angel in the Bible gives? "Be not afraid"
ReplyDeleteI'm with serenasea: go with your gut. If it's not right, it's not right, and a better place for you WILL come along. Hugs and support vibes wafting your way.
I agree with all the comments that say if you aren't happy now you never will be. Take your time and keep looking. When the right one comes you will know it is for you.
ReplyDeleteAnother will come along...don't buy with regrets.
ReplyDeleteYou just started looking. I would wait. If in doubt, let it pass!:)
ReplyDeleteTrust your intuition. Also be aware that moving away from familiar territory sometimes triggers an acceleration of dementia for some people. I don't evny you with all the major changes going on in your life but do wish you the best always. PHOENIX1949
ReplyDeleteHmmmm . . . I can only say, for ME . . . I would not want to have to sink a lot of money (and TIME) into making that house the way you want it. You have so much on your plate taking care of Himself. It is such a complete disruption to have to have things renovated. **SIGH** Disappointing but I’d take a pass.
ReplyDeleteAnd those stairs to the basement sound like a total disaster waiting to happen! I am not 94 and I would not want to be navigating something that is steep! And have to agree . . . what if Himself got it into his head to go down into that basement! Shudder to even think.
HUGS and prayers.
barb
1crazydog
We are facing the same issues that you are. We don't want to run up and down the cellar stairs to do laundry so we took out the bathroom closest and installed a stack-able washer and dryer. Don't be fooled by construction costs either. It's been my experience that the job runs longer and costs a lot more than what was originally budgeted. I can't imagine putting myself through all the stress of renovating a house that I don't love. As much as your kids love you, don't let them talk you into something that you have doubts about. No decisions need to be made now. You will know when it's time to go. I have faith in you.
ReplyDeleteAww that yu--- I really do appreciate yer advice-Lynda
DeleteI would wait. To move into a strange space will be difficult for your husband at this point in his journey; the stairs will be impossible for both. Do you want to be moving during the winter?
ReplyDeleteI agree that if it's not totally right today, it won't be right in the future. If it has stairs that are too steep, it probably doesn't meet code and most importantly how would you feel if you went to the store or are even just working outside and himself decided to go downstairs for something and ends up badly hurting himself or even killing himself. Wait until you can look at others. You will probably be able to find others that are much more suitable. If it takes longer just try to find family or neighbours to help you with shovelling snow, raking, etc. If it doesn't feel right today, it won't later.
ReplyDeletewhen it is the right fit you will walk in and love it this is not the house for you
ReplyDeleteLynda, I think you've answered your own question. Trust your gut! There is a reason you feel so adverse to this house in town. I do understand. I've never liked this house I have lived in for 40 years but was 8 months pregnant with twins when my ex-husband and his parents found it and decided it was the best option for us. Now I am comfortable and hate to even think about moving. I know how to walk through this house in the dark. My "treasures" are packed away on shelves in the basement. And with things so expensive these days I feel safe here with a house that is paid for! You need to do what feels best to you!
ReplyDeleteYu know how to walk in the louse in the dark--Thank yu--That does say a lot--I mean it!--- Bless yer heart-Lynda
DeleteI know that I am chiming in late, as I am just now reading your blog and it is nearly midnight - and I haevn't read the other responses, but I know that this is not the house for you. You could see it the minute you saw those steps down. If you think about the house you live in now, you know you are better off there......hard I know, as there is so much upkeep, but you would not be happy in this new place. Never be afraid - as there will be another place that will better fit your needs. You are safe where you are for now! Keep the faith that God has a plan for you!
ReplyDeleteOh Sandra--- Thank yu so much-Lynda
DeleteDon't get a home that you have doubts about. You will most likely really regret it. Trust your gut. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others. If the house does not make your heart sing it is not for you and himself will have trouble getting use to a new place at this point of his illness, best to stay in familiar until you find something more suitable. There are some really wonderful retirement apartments too without the extra costs of what a house is and all it's extra work. I love apartment life and the ease of just taking care of it with only a morning needed to clean from end to end and we have a two bedroom apartment so have rooms for guests. At this point we really do not see the need to have a house at all.
ReplyDeleteSuch great advice from everyone! The basement stairs could be replaced with a lift (home elevator), but sounds like a lot of trouble. I'm glad you've chosen to wait for something safer!
ReplyDeleteYou will know when it's right for you. As soon as we walked into this house I knew it was right for us.
ReplyDeleteLynda, if you are afraid...it is your gut telling you it is not right.......a new house should be a happy place not scared you're gonna fall etc. If it does not make you happy, it is not the right one.
ReplyDelete