I just blew up at Himself-- Lord love a Duck!--If I could run away, I certainly would!-- I took him grocery shopping--He sat in the car , (His Choice)--with Lopez and waited for me--and now, all he can do is criticize everything I came home with.--- He has no idea how much time AND ENERGY it takes to grocery shop--just putting it away is a challenge--upstairs --down to the frig in the basement--no lunch--and he let the eggs boil all over the stove top----- Nothing I do is right----The groceries were $254 --with a bit of meat-- and lots of fruit and veggies, milk, cream--etc--etc----That seems to be standard right now--
Oh man!---- I just had to get away from him--remembered I had not blogged--so came upstairs to talk to all of you--to tell you my troubles--and--I feel better already--Really I do! Good thing for yu all--
Life is not easy living with a person who needs a caregiver with a ton of patience-- (which I'm afraid I have not too much of right now--)
""""-Patience is a virtue-possess it if you can-- It's often found in women, but--never in a man"""-- Mom used to say that!-- I can hear her screaming it in my ear--
Gee, I wish Dad was still alive-- He always was so good to me--Himself used to be that way too--
So sorry, hon! If this makes you feel any better, I live in a condo community, and often walk my dog Jake around the loop for his last potty around 8 or 9 if I'm running late. Well, it was dark, Jake chased after something in the bushes, and he got skunked - AGAIN - by then I was too tired to do anything about it, so I popped him in his crate. This morning, other than feed him and potty him, I left him in his crate until I could get to the pet store down the street. They were too booked to do him, but sold me some sort of de-skunkify shampoo, and I did him myself there. It hurts my back to do it, as you have to bend over and you can't get to the other side of him. You had to wait 5 minutes for it to work. I did it twice. Now, instead of smelling like skunk, he smells like hair bleach. I guess that's better, eh? ;)
ReplyDeleteLynda, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. If only your children could see that their dad is different now and needs daily help. It is too much when it's left for the other spouse to do it alone! My heart breaks for you my friend.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve to get a new wardrobe so don't think twice about that. I need new clothes too but don't know when I'll get out to get them. Have not been out in a month and I am getting too used to sitting in!!!
Take care of yourself, try opening the outside door, sticking your head out and scream when you need to, it relieves tension.
Love and many hugs to you, Fred and your fur pets xoxoxo
Oh, Lynda! I am so sorry. I feel for you. I believe we have all 'blown up' at some time or another. One can only take so much. I hope it helped Himself calm down. And you, too. I am glad you can talk to us here. It's kind of like journaling. That is said to be a very good process.
ReplyDeleteIt can be really hard to practice patience. Your mom screaming in your year doesn't sound like patience to me!
Not too cold here...in the 40sF, but the wind is frigid and it's cloudy.
Karaoke was fun last night. A bunch of friends singing their hearts out, laughing lots and having a couple drinks. Well...some just drink pop or water.
Now to do my dishes and clean the cat box.
Hope the rest of your day goes better.
Do not 'beat yourself up' for your anger. It's a natural response. {{{HUGS}}}
Oh Lynda, sorry you had a rough time. I love that you feel free to share with us and it helps you feel better. This too shall pass. Patience can be hard to muster day in and day out. I know as I'm in the same boat as you in the caretaker roll.
ReplyDeleteI'm GLAD you ordered some new clothing that fits. YAY.
Play your piano....that will calm everyone down.
Hugs dear lady.
HUGS !!!
ReplyDeleteTime to 'tickle the ivories' and/or take slow deep breaths and/or turn up the volume on your favorite music, etc., whatever helps you.
An aunt & uncle of mine lived on top of a hill on 200+ acres. In their mid-80's, my uncle had dementia and was battling 3 types of cancer and had made it very clear he wanted to stay out of hospitals and care facillities. He also panicked when she was out of her sight. When Mom & I went to visit (day trip from our homes), my aunt pulled us aside and whispered that she was pulling weeds to vent her frustration at their plight and now might have to start pulling up flowers since there were so few weeds left!
Glad you got some new clothes. The caregiver needs to take care of the the caregiver first and foremost.
Hugs! I was dismayed by the $140 bill at the grocery this morning, and there's only ONE of me. OK, not all of it was food, there are some paper goods and those are expensive. And dishwasher detergent, that's a big 'un. But... these things are "necessities", aren't they?
ReplyDeleteHope you got yourself "back in hand" knowing you're not alone and you can breathe and enjoy what's left of the day. No matter what, right? You need warm clothes that fit for winter! No regrets!
Sorry about your day and Himself’s attitude. Dorothy
ReplyDeleteOh so very sorry for the upset of your day! It’s like having an ornery child around! And shopping in a Sunday, prices and tensions are extra high! Your kids have no idea, or they have an idea, but don’t feel like dealing with him, either. One day, he will have to move to a 24 hour place, is there one in your town? Canada was supposed to have such good medical care, but they offer no at home help to you? So sorry! You deserve every piece of clothing!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a bad day! Maybe sometimes you could tape some of these things and play to your kids. Play the piano to calm yourself down.
ReplyDeleteGrocery shopping is such a challenge these days. Everything is so expensive. And yes, going home and putting it all away is also hard. The last time we got groceries it took me a couple hours to get it all where it needed to be - and I have a husband who is willing to run things down to the freezer and the pantry downstairs. You are amazing with what you do!
ReplyDeleteThank yu--I have calmed down now-- what a crazy day-Lynda
DeleteHang in there Lynda!
ReplyDeleteSorry Lynda you are going thru this....
ReplyDelete