Lordy Be! -- Give me Strength!

 Have you ever had a day when you did not know if you were coming --or going?--Crazy !----  I think there is too much happening in my life right now--Maybe a lot of dogs-----you see, I fed one dog and the wrong dog ate that meal--Then I fed another dog---and the wrong dog ate another dog's meal--so----   outside a couple of them went , while the smaller dogs could eat--I guess they should be fed in stages--with me on guard--

I began to realize , having a painter Lady in, to do the main level, at this time , is just not going to work, if I want to preserve my sanity----at least, while these dogs are here for the week--

So--I called the paint Lady who kinda "hit the roof"--told me this week was her only time she could fit me in----- and meanwhile, before she gets here, I should be removing all the pictures on the walls, taking down light fixtures---ready for her to paint--Now, as if I can do that with 4 dogs panting at my feet----needing to go in--then out--- then for a run down to the lake etc etc etc--

I tried to be as nice as I could to this PAINT PERSON----to let her know , that in a week I will be almost dog less---ready for her---but I knew from her tone of voice , she was not hearing  anything !

So, this is a day, I do not know whether  I am coming--or going---  or, to put it differently, staying here in our 50 year old house, which we do love---or moving , to goodness knows where--and into what?--

Maybe I need to  find that penny tossed  down for me---- Maybe I have to have more faith, that life will turn out the way it is meant to be-- Maybe that paint Lady is not supposed to come--Maybe she will appear in a week--- Lord love a Duck-Who knows eh?--Stuff usually turns out for whatever way it is supposed to-- you gotta have that faith----Right?--

-The stories  below about faith caught my attention--

I must get off of here and vacuum the dog hair-- then put them out--the dogs I mean---  and have patience with Himself who is ranting about something or other--

It's a precious privilege to be alive!

 TRY-----yes--try to think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive----I think I should paint this statement on our bedroom ceiling--

There will be a lot of action here soon--so, I am typing quickly here-- Son#3, the Policeman, will be out with his 2 dogs--  Apollo and Lola----  Yes, I volunteered to keep them as they are heading to Hawaii--via Toronto Pearson Airport--I thought the 2 dogs would be here by now--but------anyway, they will be here soon-- It will be good for Lopez--as Lola is an apple head Chihuahua and will not take any ('scuse the expression)-crap from Lopez--- I have no idea how everything will work out with a painter arriving Wednesday--but--I know it will-- 

--and-- here they all are---(taken after their arrival)-

Last night I "caved in"---  read all your responses to yesterdays blog--- and never finished commenting---very unusual for me--I will get to it to-day-- I think I  read quite a few--

I thought all the above ducks pretty cute-- I am one of those people paddling like crazy  "under neath"---always questioning  my life-- "Am I doing the right thing?"---  "Should I shop on a certain day?"----"Can I handle everything on my plate?"-- "Should I move or should I stay?"---- Aww me--The list is endless--Too bad I just can't sit back and allow things to happen--- I need "Faith"----  (I think that is a song!)

--like--"Enjoy Life"----  It would make my day so much easier if I could just allow it all to  happen--whenever  whatever is supposed to happen--quit the worrying--  I used to be called "the worry wart" by my Mom--- 

Lord love a Duck--Time to get the sheets on the bed--It is Sunday and that's what happens here on a Sunday-I hope your day goes well--MAKE IT GO WELL!---We do have sunshine-- the grass is cut-- I am not ill--  We went for groceries yesterday--  very depressing as I am sure the prices are even higher--but--- I won't go there--

--"STRONG" is a good word -----that is "us"-STRONG__----Hugs  coming your way---  remember----  We are alive!

You can do Hard Things

Good morning--- "Duckie"-

- To-day is a much cooler day--with a fresh wind blowing--I love it--No AC--

What else can happen ?---- Last night in the night, big Beau began to bark-- I never got up--I figured he could handle whatever it was--So--This morning I slept in till 6am--went down to the kitchen after feeding Sushi---and there was a long piece of Fashia hanging down to the ground beside the kitchen window--There it is in the picture, below---

--so, I began to panic thinking this house is falling apart--and I knew I could not fix it--Anyway, when I got my wits about me, I called "Stan the Man"--the best repair guy in the whole world, and left him a message--This was at 6am--Can you believe this?--He called me right back--at 6:10 am--told me he was heading up this way from town, to repair a Lady's trailer--and he would stop in--Holy cow!!!----  AND----- He was here by 6-15am and climbed up on his ladder--and banged the piece of Fashia back up--said the nails holding it are very small and it doesn't take much wind to knock it down.--Bless his heart eh?----  he left and I then drove into town to the bank machine to get $$ to pay him--and, by 7am---  back out I came,  and found Stan the Man over at the Lady's trailer across the road-- and all  this was done before Himself was even up--

I felt a tad sorry for myself this morning--thinking, stuff like, "WHY ME?"---- but---  then, thought, well, the whole chaotic thing,  wasn't the end of the world, and I handled it, so I thought--Do not feel sorry for myself--JUST DO IT!_-FIX STUFF WHEN YOU NEED TO___(That was my thought!)_But in my mind, I was thinking, my Mom never had to do "stuff"---- It was the "WHY ME?" syndrome---  

No time for that tho is there?--As Dad used to say, "Where there's a will, there's a way"--Be grateful there is a "Stan the Man"----  to help  a damsel in distress!

So---  it's a day to get groceries-- maybe not too many, plus the grandson will be out to do grass this afternoon--

So, if I have any advice here, to share with you all, I suppose it is----

You are stronger than you think---
You do know that ----Beautiful girl, yu can do Hard Things---- Forget the tears and just chug along--


 

I need to Focus on the good

It is a VERY VERY hot day-- so we are in the "AC BUBBLE"---So much has gone on here this AM., I hardly know where to begin--  I suppose it all began last evening-- Are any of you people "computer  whiz's ?"-----I am not at all---  I enjoy my IMAC  a lot---  but when I click on something, trying to correct something that I have no idea what I am doing--and everything flies all over the screen very quickly--and-- then I have no idea how to correct the huge mess on the screen-

Oh----before I continue----  Good Morning to you all---We have a new day starting and a whole new thing to worry about---  called--Global Warming-   -(-Lord love a duck eh?--as if we need another thing to worry about?)

Anyway, last evening, I just turned off the computer and tried to forget the horrible mess on the screen---so, this morning--early-- I called "Apple Care"---Bless their hearts! --some kind patient soul, screen shared with me --and voila--all my email reappeared  in the correct way it used to be--

So that is settled----then, looking around our house, I decided to get a painter in to paint the main level--and she just left--no price yet--the colour on the walls is a very deep yellowy brown- never been painted since '87 when we purchased this house----

So  lotza  "stuff"  this day to deal with---on this "way too hot" day--I am sending out "huge hugs" to you all with positive vibes---  We are  dealing with all the issues facing us in these times----fires----  floods--  a war somewhere in the world--a day with temperatures way above normal--and a crazy Lady (me) on a computer that  she messes up quite a lot--

so, we dance---   have confidence that everything will turn out the way it is supposed to-----because we are ---STRONG-----  (You knew I was going to say that eh?)-----

One more thing--Son#3-and family, -is going to HAWAII for a week--and Lola and Apollo, his 2 dogs are coming out here --(Lopez told me to tell yu all that!)---REMEMBER___

I found a puppy for a friend-

Hey-----It's HAIR DAY---

-It has been a busy morning----  the neighbour people--an older couple-- had to put their miniature poodle down--  They are totally lost-- no computer in their house either---so---I took on the task of searching for a new puppy for them---  I finally found one in the Toronto area---(far for them)--  but--guess what?---  I posted their  loss on  my Facebook page, and a friend found a breeder quite close to here--Espanola--and the puppy will be ready mid August----ever ever nice for them!----I know how terribly sad they are --no children ---Their puppy was their family--

So-- Now that I have accomplished  "Zilch"--  (as Dad used to say)- I must keep helping Sadie-Man oh man---!--  It doesn't take much to not do the housework-----and , it's hot again---VERY Hot--We have the AC running-- --but--I haven't achieved  what I needed to do--but-----  I did find these people a new puppy--

So, I am offa here for to-day-- I hope that your day is going well--  Make it a good day--- I saw this  below, and it made me laugh--- As I age, it seems I have extra skin hanging around--  I need to shrink--

I shall see  you all tomorrow---and I will not search for any more pups--I promise--I hope that I made the people who need that puppy----who miss their doggie in Heaven, I hope I made their world a better place-- Lord love a duck

 
 

I want to be an old lady with long grey hair in a pony tail-

We need extra special care everyday--It is another hot day--I will have to put the AC on soon--  Lopez and I did our walk up the back road--and bless his heart, he did his business----

 Himself had his usual melt down  several times yesterday--poor guy--I know he doesn't remember them---It is always directed at me---and I am trying to just let it run off of me---try not to talk back-- I have figured out however what might help the both of us-- There is a "Day Program" , at one of the Senior's Homes-- I used to volunteer there--  and--Himself used to be the Doctor at that place -So I called the person in charge there, and he agreed that it would benefit both Himself--and "ME"---something different for Himself, and maybe I could do a few errands while he was there--even for the morning, once a week--He is going to get a referral--and get back to me---

 Yesterday, for exercise, I cut the front lawn-- patched the little round circles  left from big Beau peeing  on it--top soil--then grass seed , with lotza water--and a prayer that the seed fill in the patch--

While I was out there, a huge toad hopped of of his hole---(scarred the liver out of )-----Big Beau decided to bite the toad--and the toad spit at Beau--He dropped the toad so fast!-- I had to put the hose in Beau's mouth to rinse it out--I suspect there was some sort of poison in what the toad emitted----

What would my life ever be like if I did not read?---The above picture resembles the books  I read -  I have a kindle, so I order that amount of reading material weekly--Living in the bush, my Kindle keeps me alive and happy!

Yes, I really really want to look like the above slim  Lady-- a long grey pony tail --would be nice-- no more colour if I'm aiming  to resemble her--and a great way to save time and money--I suppose when my eye sight fades, I can "think" I resemble that Lady, even if I do not--I very well might look like the Lady below--

Anyway, time to dust this study---I am going to act like a normal happy stable person to-day--

Remember that we are so much stronger than we know---We can do whatever we set our mind to---Every one of us is different--  There is only ONE of each of us--  which is very special---I hope this day is a great day for all of you--and if it doesn't seem like it is going too good---  MAKE IT SPECIAL--- Talk to your neighbour---turn up the music--dance around the table--pick up your cat and tell  that cat you adore her or him-- call your kids-- tell a Policeman what a great job they are doing--and if you are travelling, thank that pilot for a great flight--write him or she a wee note---I love you all--you special people!

SEE YOU TO_MORROW!

A dog in a vehicle on a hot day--

--It looks exactly like me-this morning---bushed--beggared--and bewildered------for sure---But----I am trying to move on--crazy day yesterday--We did get for bananas--Himself waited in the car--AND----it was so hot in the parking lot--- and GUESS WHAT? -----right beside our vehicle was another SUV---WITH A DOG WITH THE WINDOW DOWN HALF WAY__WITH HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW PANTING HARD! -----

"Look --"Someone left a dog in the car and look at him--He is way too hot."----I said that to Himself--and Himself said--- "Go on--You can't save the world--The dog is OK."------

And I replied-"I am memorizing his licence, and getting the owner paged."

And Himself said--- "Forget the dog (who looked terrible)--The dog is OK."

So, I trotted off with my bins under my arm, and in I went to the store--and over I went to a cashier, and asked if she could page the licence, for the owner of that car, because there was a dog left in his vehicle.

And--then-- I shopped for my groceries--took me about an hour--never heard any page , but the store was busy--loud-

Out I went to our car, pushing my cart--AND--- THERE WAS THAT SAME CAR WITH THE SAME DOG LOOKING NOT GOOD__

Back I went into the store and told a druggist this time about the dog--"P{LEASE PAGE THE OWNER", I said--

Now HIMSELF was really really in a very bad mood---  keeping him waiting , over a dog does not go well with this man--And--there he was in the parking area telling me what a nutty person I was --and on and on and on--

There is no end to this story--  because---  I was a bad person--I LEFT THE AREA--I LEFT THE POOR DOG PANTING AWAY__ 

After dinner, I called Son#2, the Pilot, who seems to understand my love of animals--He  told me that I should've called 911--a Police Officer would've taken the dog away and out of the heat--and the vehicle-

END OF STORY

----That is why I look like this--sorta----- still--Whatta crazy day!

                                  I guess I did what I could---- but-----  I still think I could've done more-- Lord love a Duck! --So, remember----  call 911--if you see what I saw--

 

Be Awesome Today

I am late posting-- You see, we had a call last evening, asking if another agent could show the house this morning--why did I ever agree?--It is a lot of "Hoopla " before anyone  comes thru--- polishing mirrors-- turning on lights--putting stuff away---  getting the dogs settled where they are safe and not going to bother whoever comes thru--It took me a lot of time---  Anyway, these people were from out of town-- feeling this place is too large-- AND IT IS --for a couple--It needs a family-- Why can't a real estate agent figure this out before sending people thru-?---- It would be nice to get some feedback after a showing-- doesn't seem to happen!

AND --ANYWAY-We are not going to sell--are we?----  I figured that out yesterday---Himself says he is not moving -Lord love a Duck! To-day I feel like we were going in circles--yesterday we decided that here we would stay----here--in this house--then--to-day we showed the house?--  What  is wrong with us??--

It is very hot--  I must go out and close the gate at the road---  hopefully, one of these days we will get to a grocery store---  Maybe it might even be this afternoon--  Bananas are definitely #1  on my list!

oh--- Do you all have a zillion Humming birds at your feeders?  They must be the babies---  ???---- And they drain a feeder in a day-- 

Time for lunch-- --Remind me why we are "staying in this house"----  because I seem to forget easy--

Hugs---

 

We are all a little weird---

 You all ARE on my mind--  -I do appreciate all your comments yesterday--Yesterday,  I was working in the garden--weeding--It is not a vegetable garden--used to be---now I have flowering shrubs in it--much easier for me to look after-I have the Rototiller man coming sometime this week--He has been coming here for years and years--and he ploughs all the weeds under around the bushes--This afternoon I will trim some of the shrubs---  

Anyway, as I was in that garden yesterday, I was thinking of the   picture the daughter sent--a house listed online--a bungalow-- a huge lot-- one bathroom--2 bedrooms-- a long driveway---sorta  an ugly kitchen---all on one level--no furnace--It would be up to me to bring the grass and the outside up to ---well, even sorta pretty--and I was thinking--  could I live there if something happened to  Himself?--It as far from here and town,  as this house is from town--Presently I find taking care of this place, a lot work--but-- I am able to do it, as it is just  the upkeep--  mowing the grass--  planting flowers and taking care of them--Most places I see in town, I would have "to start from scratch"--and---  you know, I just do not think I can do that anymore-- "Upkeep" is far different , than beginning again--- I think staying here is easier than beginning again--So---- I had to say, "Please do not send any more pictures of houses--We have not sold this house--and----  coming from an almost 81 yr old person (ME)--to a much younger person-- I knew there was a complete lack of understanding--sad-sad--sad--but---  that is the way it is--

-People mean well---  but---  --Well, that is the way it is--Do any of you  "older than old" people out there -(-Like I am!) even understand where I am coming from?--Eventually Himself and I will move--but--maybe not now---probably  after big Beau passes--Who knows??-----

So--  that is the way it is--at least for to-day--(unless of course if someone comes along and offers us a million dollars which is not going to happen-)-

This guy is en route from London, England--He sent a couple pictures of Phone Booths that are there--

He said it was raining all the time he was there--I love the red colour--There are no phone booths anymore around our neck of the woods, but he tells me there are a lot of them in London-- He also said he did not see the King--

So--that is about "it" for to-day--Sadie was here--cleaned one room and a bathroom this morning--  said she had to garden this afternoon--(You know  Sadie is  ME)

Remember it's our strength-- that carries us thru each day--  our kindness and patience-- too--and even our craziness--We are all a little weird---- but, it is true, when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,  kinda like all of you, we join them and fall in Mutual weirdness and call it love--
                                          SEE YOU TO_MORROW----Hang in there! 

Just carry on and be a tough cookie!

 Thank yu for all your very helpful suggestions yesterday , on my  very "feeling sorry for myself"--day-

None of you told me to just "suck it up", and I really do appreciate you holding me together--Lord love a Duck! I  am learning--"to allow Himself's comments to go in one ear and out the other"-

----but--- on days when you are VERY tired--- it seems to go in one ear--and stay in the brain--and I do begin to wonder if I am that terrible person that he sometimes thinks I am-- stupid eh?---

So, I played the piano a lot yesterday--I weeded  a part of the garden-----tried to be happy ---( even tho there are times I sorta think I'd like to be any place but  here----- )

 So----  in case yu are wondering---HIMSELF IS JUST "HUNKY DORY" this morning--- (Dad used to say that)--- unbelievable eh?---Lord love a Duck!---But, I must  go the school of "hard knocks"----  work at getting a  thick shell on my heart--and my head---(It is not my nature tho to be that way)--

-but--- I guess in "the old-er age" of life, one must develop this outer thick skin-----Heck---- my whole body now looks different than when I was young and spiffy--so, a thick skin all over me now, might just add to a new appearance--One must accept  this appearance when one is over 80 ---From this------

-------------------------------------------------------------to this-----------------------

Life goes on---  no matter what---  and I must adapt-- "WE MUST ADAPT"---Lopez and Beau have been out--We have sun and cooler temperatures--- Yu know, I haven't been able to hug  my other half to-day-- Getting old is difficult---- for everyone you know---Good thing that we are "tough cookies!

 

Keep going, you got this

 A new day--- Lord love a duck! -- I need to talk to someone so much----  but--- I do not know where to turn----- so------I'll talk to you---

-Living with a husband who cannot hear too well--cannot see too well (so cannot read  or help with the banking etc)--is not very steady on his feet--has fallen several times---and I think , --living with those afflictions, make his world   very small--like there are walls around what he used to  be able to do--- He becomes frustrated----  I understand that!--- And, I usually am able to deal with him living like this--

But---  Yesterday I went out---  had my hair done---  did some banking---  and went to a grocery store, as he had requested  some frozen foods--I left at 2pm--was home perhaps by 4pm--and----  He was just not himself at all--Angry-------telling me all sorts of stuff--that he didn't belong here--that I had no love for him--  Well, it just went on and on---until I was in tears-

-Looking after someone  that you are married to, that yu have spent your life with--raised a family with, and hearing all of this, just totally devastates one---you feel very alone--- Organizations in town have offered their services--- have said they will come and sit with him, so I can do a few errands--but--  at their time--like--8am -to 10am---and--we do have 2 dogs--- who would have to be away if they came---- and 8am is just not suitable for Himself--

So, I  tell myself that I CAN DO THIS----- the grown children seem to not understand--because Himself  never treats them like he does me-- It can be very lonely------Himself has good days----and -then somedays , the frustration is just too much for him--especially if he hasn't been out of the house for awhile-  like yesterday--Some days we just go for a drive, and his spirits are lifted so much--just seeing that there is a world out there and then he feels a part of that world.--

If any of you know of a person going thru all of this, ask their caregiver--or their spouse , if perhaps you could take them for a  even an hour out of their home--the drive--pick up a coffee  somewhere-- That drive  gets rid of the walls around them--They are a part of the world again--They see other people--

Himself is almost 95 years--He is A Family Physician--Well, he was!--and he is very tuned into life in general---but---  the frustration of losing his ability to walk, to hear, and talk, ---- breaks my heart-- And you know, because he is not able to hear, I have to raise my voice to chat with him, and---as crazy as this all sounds-- Lopez, the  Chihuahua thinks I am angry with him, so tries to bark at him-- jumps at him---  more chaos--(Maybe don't get a Chihuahua--LOLOL--and I love the wee Chihuahua)

Anyway,---Spouses  living with  someone  going thru all this,  must be stronger than they really are-- because, everything falls onto their lap----The everyday things like housekeeping--the yard--the house-y chores, the banking-----then they must support the  poor spouse  who is having a bad day and taking it all out on them---

Well, I don't know about you, but I feel better already, just talking about "life" with  a super intelligent  person, trying to live his life which has changed drastically  as the years roll on----and on--and on--
  `````````````` " Keep Going, You Got This"------some days I say this many many times-----as the tears roll down----I love this guy--