You all ARE on my mind-- -I do appreciate all your comments yesterday--Yesterday, I was working in the garden--weeding--It is not a vegetable garden--used to be---now I have flowering shrubs in it--much easier for me to look after-I have the Rototiller man coming sometime this week--He has been coming here for years and years--and he ploughs all the weeds under around the bushes--This afternoon I will trim some of the shrubs---
Anyway, as I was in that garden yesterday, I was thinking of the picture the daughter sent--a house listed online--a bungalow-- a huge lot-- one bathroom--2 bedrooms-- a long driveway---sorta an ugly kitchen---all on one level--no furnace--It would be up to me to bring the grass and the outside up to ---well, even sorta pretty--and I was thinking-- could I live there if something happened to Himself?--It as far from here and town, as this house is from town--Presently I find taking care of this place, a lot work--but-- I am able to do it, as it is just the upkeep-- mowing the grass-- planting flowers and taking care of them--Most places I see in town, I would have "to start from scratch"--and--- you know, I just do not think I can do that anymore-- "Upkeep" is far different , than beginning again--- I think staying here is easier than beginning again--So---- I had to say, "Please do not send any more pictures of houses--We have not sold this house--and---- coming from an almost 81 yr old person (ME)--to a much younger person-- I knew there was a complete lack of understanding--sad-sad--sad--but--- that is the way it is--
-People mean well--- but--- --Well, that is the way it is--Do any of you "older than old" people out there -(-Like I am!) even understand where I am coming from?--Eventually Himself and I will move--but--maybe not now---probably after big Beau passes--Who knows??-----
So-- that is the way it is--at least for to-day--(unless of course if someone comes along and offers us a million dollars which is not going to happen-)-
He said it was raining all the time he was there--I love the red colour--There are no phone booths anymore around our neck of the woods, but he tells me there are a lot of them in London-- He also said he did not see the King--
Remember it's our strength-- that carries us thru each day-- our kindness and patience-- too--and even our craziness--We are all a little weird---- but, it is true, when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, kinda like all of you, we join them and fall in Mutual weirdness and call it love--
SEE YOU TO_MORROW----Hang in there!
Your daughter wants her parents to move into a home with no heating? Just shaking my head at that.
ReplyDeleteThere probably is some kind of heat thing on the wall or something-but it does get to 40 below in the winter--Lynda
DeletePHOENIX1949 here in sweltering Central Texas (on SparkPeople many folks thought I was from Arizona but my Phoenix handle was referring to the mythical bird arising from the ashes as an analogy for my journey to get healthier).
ReplyDeleteI read your blogs on a regular basis but rarely comment.
When faced with a similar major life-changing decision, I found this below quote helpful (CAPS are mine):
"It was the American philosopher and psychologist William James (1842-1910) who first said, 'NO DECISION IS, IN ITSELF, A DECISION.' And there are few quotes that bear greater meaning when it comes to decision-making."
After thinking this quote through, I realized it lifted stress from my mind over the major change staring at me. I quit putting deadlines on myself and feelling my dilemma had to be solved by moving soon. Yet, in the background I would take 'steps just in case' -- my steps were taking my time researching options, making endless pros & cons lists, downsizing material 'stuff' (never-ending project) and appreciating my nest (home) that is a reflection of my life. This led to both of us purchasing LongTermCare insurance policies that will apply to home care, and if needed, rehab/nursing care as needed.
We have no children in the mix so blessed to afford a yard crew and housecleaning service made possible by spouse still actively employed at 74. Over time we made alterations to the house like door handles replacing doorknobs to east the strain on my arthritic hands, a walk-in safety tub, motion sensor light fixtures in closets and garage and utility room that have built in timers that turn them off, light switches changed out for soft-touch controls, etc., etc.
Covid brought about helpful changes like online grocery ordering & delivery and tele-health medical visits. So, our decision is to shelter in place for as long as possible, adjusting as our needs change.
Also, my spouse would rather not discuss any end-of-life decisions, even now with both of us battling cancer. We do have burial plots Wills, Durable Power of Attorney and Medical Power of Attorney that were set up in 1999 that need to be updated since a lot has happened to the people and things included in the paperwork.
A quote you have referenced that stuck with me is “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” ~ Dr. Seuss. My generation wasn't into Seuss books but after I saw this on one of your SP blogs, I bought a mug with this on it.
Best wishes and "be you. do you. for you." ~ Unknown
OMG-- IT IS SO SO good to hear from yu--so--you are saying-- STAY in our home--"Be YOU"--- I remember typing that--I know this place but--I worry that moving will be busy for me--and that Himself just will not adapt--maybe me too-- Thank yu so much for adding your opinion--I do appreciate it--Lynda
DeleteI think you are right to have expressed you opinion about no further house listings. You are handling things right now in a way that is ok for you and Himself. You are wise enough to realize that things may change down the road, but for now, you are making things work. I am sure your kids are coming from a place of love and concern (mine do too.) but . . . YOU taught them, YOU raised them, so you have the capability of taking care of yourself and making decisions. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteHUGS
barb
1crazydog
Thank -yu so much Barb--We are in this house for a few more years-- the listings just depress me--why do grown adult kids think they know best?--- Lord love a Duck-Lynda
DeleteLynda, you can live anywhere if you keep up your current attitude and think of the positive side of things.
ReplyDeleteYou do have people to help...the rototiller man, sons and grandsons, etc. And what if the stress of the move was too much for Himself?
And you have us. We cry on each other's shoulders sometimes, but we all share the good stuff.
I hate to think of Beau passing, but I guess we all make that transition to Spirit at sometime, even our beloved pets.
I guess I am lucky. Actually, I know I am. Due to not much income, I live in a subsidized senior building. Subsidized means the government pays some so I have a lower rent. The only bad part of that is I'm not as free...hafta follow rules, hafta share the laundry room, no garage, etc. Lotsa friends, though. This afternoon is Bingo with my friends in our Community Room.
Finished all my chores that were on my list from two days ago yesterday. Did more today. Ran my precious room mate around with his wand with the feathers on it. He's ready for a nap. OH, I also did all my therapy exercises. I may get on the bike again after Bingo, but I did that yesterday.
We ARE going to all have a marvelous, productive week with time to relax, too.
{{{HUGS}}}
I am glad, too, that Himself is better with his cane and Lopez.
And I depend on all of yu-- I do not think that Himself will go thru a move to a new house, very well--Yu had a busy day yu know--Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I have been in my home for 41 years next week. I never wanted to live here so when my ex left us I thought, now's the time to move. BUT my children were younger and worried about losing their friends so here I stayed. Now my current husband has been here with me for 28 years. But yes, the yard and gardens are getting harder and harder to take care of. Yet when we think about moving it feels so overwhelming. So here we stay. My children also say "why not just move?". I doubt any one of them would be standing in line to help us do just that! So staying in your home as long as you are able to do what needs to be done seems like the best choice for now. You can always make a change in the future! We had another bad storm yesterday with horrible winds - so now my yard is once again filled with sticks, leaves and some branches - from my tree and also a lot from my neighbor's tree. I was very grateful that my husband helped me clean some of it up this morning, Daisy helped too! Have a good rest of your day!
ReplyDeleteKathy-BLESS YOUR Heart-- you completely understand-We have lived here since'87--raised the children here--kinda hard at this stage to move--plus--- i haven't got the energy to make the yard look decent--Thank yu--Lynda
DeleteMoney is never the only barrier to moving on or downsizing! The paralysis of indecision, and the lack of energy would even hit if we all that those millions!
ReplyDeleteBlessings sent your way!
Barb--so--yu saying to stay--or to move-??? Lynda
DeleteLynda, I'm glad you spoke your mind to your daughter - who doesn't even live in this country and doesn't understand everything especially as far north as you are. Love the pictires of phone booths. Now that you mention it, I don't recall seeing hardly any here in Toronto! I think staying where you are is probably a good idea if you can get some help for the snow clearing, etc. Glad one grandson is helping with the grass. I would question how well himself would cope with a move. Have a good evening. Brenda
ReplyDeleteBrenda--I do not believe he will do well with a move--nor will I really--Thank yu for the advice-Lynda
DeleteLynda, you need to do whats best for you. If you can get help, consistently, with snow and yard stuff....stay put. Himself is happier there. I get concerned about the bedroom upstairs. You two seem to manage. Since no buyer has come forward staying put seems to be the plan. I would continue to purge as eventually you'll have to do it anyway and when/if you do move, you won't be taking everything. Maybe you'll stay put and if the need arises, have help come in for medical care. Who knows? We plan...GOD smiles as he has the plan for our lives.
ReplyDeleteI loved today's theme. So true.
The red phone booths are cute. I can't even recall the last time or place I saw a pay phone and certainly don't recall a phone booth sighting in decades.
Play your piano. Enjoy today.
Hugs
Margene-- I tihnk yu are right--staying put--Lynda
DeleteI'm with the lady above, I don't think Himself would survive a move, and you surely cannot move into a house with no furnace, don't know how you would heat that one anyway.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think you are better to shelter in place, and hire done what you need to have done.
It was very TRAUMATIC when I had to give up my home and move
up here, now am trying to find all new drs. and regroup. Almost all of my stuff is in the shed for storage, I cannot find a lot of my things I would like to be using. Stay where you are til God calls you home.
I think that yu are so right--Thank yu for your advice-Lynda
DeleteLynda, I would worry that a move would be very hard on Himself. Just the confusion of packing and getting rid of stuff. Then, once you are in a new place, he would not be comfortable and "it would all be your fault". That verbal abuse you don't need. Plus, you can leave him home alone where you are for a short period of time but would you trust him not to walk away from a new, strange (to him) house? No easy answer and I think the lack of an offer seals the deal for you. No need to jump when not necessary. D.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right-- I never thought of him getting mixed up and walking away from a new place--and I can see it happening-Best to just stay here-Lynda
DeleteSandra
ReplyDeleteSo it is very late and you will probably not see this comment, but yes, I feel as you do - that I am better off here with what I am familiar with rather than moving and starting some place new.....I spent about 4 hours today power washing the driveway and sidewalks....was hard work, but am so please that I can still do this myself at 76! I will stay here in the home I love until I can no longer deal with it and don't have help.
Sandra--- I am with yu-- WE will be here forever--- and that is OK__Lynda--and yes, I check in the AM to see what I missed last nite
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