"The Happy Dance" guy----It IS a good morning--because I got thru yesterday---There were moments however that I thought I was going to lose it--- I missed you all tho---no-one to talk to--but-- I did have Beau and wee Lopez, who really doesn't give a hoot about anything--
The details about yesterday are not good-- you see, Himself, a doctor, and a man who thinks he knows everything , and was used to advising his patients over the past years, decided to voice his opinion about me, in the car, en route to town--I realize it must be difficult to accept, for him, that he needs a caregiver, (who is me)- he told me everything under the sun, that he feels is wrong with me--"ME" is very tired--ALL THE TIME--so, even though we were en route to McDonalds, (his favourite place to go)- --I turned the car around and drove back home--and then, the verbal abuse continued, only worse--A tired person is not a good person to deal with a 95 yr old man, who is somewhat confused at times--but--I felt it best not to post all the details, about my "turn around" trip, because I knew it all would pass-- Just give it time-- and a ton of patience--
So, to-day is a new day and life is good--- after a dinner out with our daughter--- IN a restaurant for the first time in a year---and a good nights sleep--Both dogs have been out and did their business--It is hot, and a tad smokey--- AND--our wonderful neighbour came yesterday and got the ladder onto the dock--- Before that, I could jump into the lake, but could not get out-- The water temperature yesterday was 79--very warm for a lake in Northern Ontario.-
and, this morning, "we" do not speak of- yesterday- "the royal we"--- because my other half will not remember -
To-day is another VERY hot day--but--now I CAN NOW GET OUT OF THE LAKE---- LOLOL--- --life is good!--- Himself seems Himself --(SORTA)----This is JULY 4th--"The glorious 4th" my Mom always said--(I think she secretly wanted to live in the U.S.!)-----Here, we were not allowed fireworks on Canada day, due to the forest fires-- You people in the US usually have fabulous displays of fireworks--
This guy arrives here on Thursday with his family and his wonderful dog, Gerrard----- I must try to line up all the family pets after he arrives, because every family has 1 to 2 canines--all sizes and shapes--
I hope that you "keep your chin up", as Dad used to say, everything usually works out for the best, and above all,"STAY STRONG"
Tell yourself the above, EVERY DAY------
I am wonder woman... I wonder about so many things! Sorry for all the stuff you end up going through, but I sure do admire that you keep on keeping on! I do hope your daughter can actually see some of the decline in her father this trip up, although I don't wish the "episodes" on you!
ReplyDeleteHang in there and have a good 4th, with your deck ladder and being able to get out of the lake. The water sounds wonderful!
Neighbours are pretty good eh?---He even put the wind sock up-=- and yes, I got thru another episode with Himself- We took him to a restaurant last night and can yu believe, he walked in--on his own-(with is all around him--LOL)--Lynda
DeleteSorry to hear that yesterday was stressful for you trying to deal with the outbursts from Himself. They say that the caregiver is always the one that receives the abuse even though they give all the care. It doesn't seem fair! I hope today is a much better day. Hopefully it will help having your daughter and grandchildren there. Don't forget that you are Wonder Woman and you keep proving it every day.
ReplyDeleteYes Dear Madeline--Yesterday I was just not myself--- I love this guy --and I know he feels the same way about me--- but some part of his brain is just not right-- and the best thing I could do, was turn around and come home-- LOL-=-and I didn't get angry at him that way-- Life is a challenge isn't it?--:Lynda
DeleteIt’s Kathy – I am so sorry for your very bad day. I know himself doesn’t really know what he’s saying to you but it hurts just the same. And yes, when we are tired our level of patience with things goes way down. Lynda, I would have done exactly the same thing. One day many years ago when I was pregnant with daughter #2 we were driving into town to shop. My husband (at the time) wouldn’t stop yelling at me and finally I said “Stop the car and let me out”. Walking home 8 months pregnant was better than listening to him one more second. So I get it! I’m glad today is turning out to be a better day! Remember to take care of yourself!
ReplyDeleteHi Kathy-- To-day is a good day-- --Yu got out and yu were pregnant--and yu walked all that way?--I understand that-- I had just "had" it with all the garble about whAt a terrible person I was-- I work hard for him--and it scares me that one day I might "biff" him one--LOL--=It was better to get away--but it was terrible anyway--Thank yu for being here-Lynda
DeleteI am so sorry to hear about Himself's episode. And even though you know it's the dementia and not the Himself who has cherished you for so many years, those words hit hard and have a devastating effect on your self-worth and self-confidence and have you questioning whether you're really the loving and supporting woman we all know you to be. It was a wise move to turn the car around and head home. I just wish that, with so much family close by, one of them had been around to witness this, as I would guess that by dinnertime he was back to his charming self. Just know that we are there for you, we've experienced Himself's congnitive decline right along with you, and we're here for you no matter what. / Leslie
ReplyDeleteLeslie, yu are so right-- After that episode he was better the rest of the day--and he cannot remember how he acted--Dementia is terrible--Lynda
DeleteSo difficult for you…just so sad that you have to endure the abuse. It all, on top of everything you must do on a daily basis, takes its toll on your spirit! Even tho Himself is not cognizant of his meanness, his unpredictable behavior must be overwhelming at times. I’d want to argue, which is the worst thing to do…you do well keeping your responses to a minimum. Enjoy your family being together as best you can….one day at a time, huh?! ❤️ Eissa7
ReplyDeleteI have learned tat if I talk back--or argue, it gets worse--but--I wanted to get away from him--so--I turned around--It is so good to have our daughter here and son#2 the Pilot. with family plus dog arrive Thursday--today himself is good-Lynda
DeleteYou are wonder woman. The decline is difficult and confusing to deal with and the personal put downs, which feel like personal attacks, make it even harder. We are here for you. Many of us are going through the same thing or have experienced it with loved ones. I admire that you do not engage. Thats practicing self control for sure.
ReplyDeleteIs your daughter still not aware of any of the behaviors?
How nice that neighbor put ladder out for you. Time in the lake might be just the thing for you.
Pilot son coming. Nice. You'll have 2 of the distance kids around. Should be fun. Hoping its not a lot of extra work for you.
Stay strong.
Happy your restaurant outing went well. You needed that.
Yes, beautiful fireworks here. Spectacular.
Enjoy time with kids and grands and the lake.
Hugs
Bless yer heart , you know--- because it does help , just reading what yu all have to say and some of you share experiences---Thank yu Margene-- Lynda
DeleteLynda, YOU are amazing dealing with what you need to deal with, and you still make time for family and talking to us...motivating us wo we can 'deal,' too!
ReplyDeleteIf Himself didn't get his McDonald's, at least he got a meal in a restaurant with his granddaughter.
Not quite as hot here, but very humid. Still hazy.
My doctor son and doctor daughter-in-law (the ones who paid for my trip to Hawai'i last year) live in California. They have wild fires all over in the fall. I am constantly afraid for them and their 6 kids. I know I shouldn't be. I tell other people, "Don't worry...just trust that all is well." I guess sometimes it's hard to follow our own advice.
Just chillin' here today. May do a load of laundry. Shopped for a cantaloupe and watermelon slices. I forget what else.
Will blog later (mamaswise@blogspot.com)
Tonight I get to watch Heartland!
Hope today continues to be good for you. Are your daughter and grand kids still there?
{{{HUGS}}}
It was 35C here to-day but we went in the lake--I did not know about yer blog--Later on, I shall search for yu-- Big hugs-- Stay cool-- Yu are a good person--Hugs, Lynda
DeleteSoooooo so sorry that Himself was verbally not nice to you. **SIGH** It is the disease talking BUT . . . and as you say, here’s the big BUTT . . . you STILL HEAR it, internalize it and digest it, as much as you realize it’s part of the disease. That’s probably the most difficult thing I experienced taking care of Mom w/her Alzheimer’s.
ReplyDeleteI think Margene summed it up . . . dementia SUCKS!
HUGS HUGS HUGS and enjoy having your family around.
Barb
1crazydog
Yes Barb, Dementia sure sucks--It was a very bad day--Of course, me turning around , made it worse but-- at least "I" didn't get violent with him--was afraid if I didnt get away from him, I did not like what I wanted to do-- but--today is good-- praise the good lord! -Lynda
DeleteYikes! What a miserable day that was. Glad that it is now behind you.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my Dad had a time after surgery. The meds really messed him up. He was yelling at me and accusing me of everything. I could not stop crying. The doctor told me that it would pass and sure enough, the next day he did not believe me. He could not remember anything about that outburst. It was tough and I can’t imagine what you must be going through. Remember, you are tough and we are here.
Sending hugs and love. Our fireworks have been going off all week. My dog is a basket case. I have meds from the vet and it is helping. Tonight I might take some meds with him! Ha ha ha
Give your pets a pat from me!
Jacquie
Ahh Jackie -- I never know what sets Himself off--seems to be if he has been in the house too long-I cry too--but not nearly as much as before--He does not remember it all-- good thing-p-Thanks for being here--Lynda
DeleteI kept checking yesterday for you. Really glad all is good today. Hopefully your daughter was around for some of it. Glad the pilot & family are also coming. Maybe they will witness more situations. Glad you turned around and went home instead of going to McDonalds. Maybe he will see some consequence for behaviour - although probably not! You did a good job putting up with it and carrying on. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteAww Brenda--and to-day he is good--Yu never know when his wrath comes-so so unlike how he used to be---LOL-- Lynda
DeleteOMG--- Yer Dad had Dementia?-- It is really a terrible thing! That is how Himself is with the grown kids-so kind--never gets angry--SO SO different with me-- That's why I turned around and went back home--He is OK to-day- Poor yu! What would I ever do without all of you to talk to?--Big hugs, Lynda
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Lynda, you were hurt. I hope he goes off a few times while the kids are there, possibly in another room where they can hear him.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you .......You did do the right thing by turning around and going home.