It'a after 7pm and I can't stand it any longer-- I miss you all like crazy--so , I shall not tell you all about my terrible awful day, to-day----but---- You know that I will -- maybe, first, let you know, that I didn't cry--but--- I was sad--disappointed in my kids--- and Himself . It's hard being a Mom-----One must be thick skinned--not allow anything to get under the thick skin, which I tend to forget ---
I am old---and I feel, being "old", I deserve to be asked about stuff, before "stuff" just happens-- --especially about "Himself" whom I do try my best to take very good care of--I don't appreciate people stepping in and just taking over--I am the wife, and I feel I should be consulted ---- I don't feel respected I guess one might say! I never did that to my Mom and Dad-- I felt they knew their own minds, and I appreciated their thoughts and decisions in life--I find my own grown kids- seem to think that if you are "ahem--"OLD" --- which seems to be anyone older than them--they have the right to do whatever they feel is necessary in their eyes---- with no consultation--
So, it was a tough day--- for me--not for Himself--or my grown kids-- but--- here I am--- and I had to speak my mind , and it does seem like it went over like a lead balloon --- and I suppose, until they are my age and their children express their opinions, whether asked for or not, they will not understand even what I am talking about--
I hope your day went well---It's getting colder-snow in some parts of the world-not here yet--
Well, gosh, now you have me wondering what all is going on, but perhaps you are not free to discuss it here. I am sorry that is going on, but, not being there, and not being in your shoes or your children's, I can't say who is in the wrong, if anyone is. Just, hang tough, I'm sure it will all work out, in one way or another. Marti
ReplyDeleteMarti--bossy kids--I guess that is what is going on-- LOL--Lynda
DeleteHi Lynda! It’s 62 in Ohio right now. I was on the phone back and forth all morning with the nurse about my mother. The nurse asked if I wanted her to send in the referrals to have this test done and that test. I said, “no, I need to discuss and ask my mother first!” So, that is how I do it. I help my mom with her matters but I do not step on her toes. I am only there to help. So, I am sorry to hear that that is not how it happens for you! You are the wife, the daily caregiver, and you should be in charge! Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteOh so good f yu to consult yer Mother--She appreciates that--I know!-Lynda
DeleteHi Lynfa, happy you took time to drop a note. I miss you and kept checking for a post. Sorry it was a very bad day. I'm sorry you were disrespected by adult kid's.
ReplyDeleteGlad you spoke up. Whatever happened, please try to let it GO....for your serenity.
Hope you sleep well. Thank you for posting. Happy to know you both are OK.
Hugs...big hugs
Marge/St.Louis
Marge You are a Gem,--Thank yu for writing-- Lynda I missed you! LyndA
DeleteI am on your side...
ReplyDeleteI am a plain speaker and I would have told them plainly you did not appreciate being disrespected and walked over after all,
Deleteyou gave them life.
I am sorry Lynda. You do not deserve that.
I did tell them--- hard tho--but--maybe things will improve--Lynda
DeleteYu are on my side??--Yu must understand then--Lynda
DeleteLynda, I am so sorry to hear of the awful day you've had. None of us know your children, but it would seem to me that since none of them who live nearby, have ever offered to come pick up their Dad and take him for a drive, or go to a restaurant or any interaction, to give you a brief respite, have forfeited their right to weigh in on any decision making. Matt has always been the one that seems to understand you, and that's why he is trying to help. It's doubtful that any of your children are going to help you pack and move, so you may need a company to come and help. Of course that will cost money, but you can't do it on your own. I am going to say special prayers that you can find some peace of mind and that you can tune out the naysayers.
ReplyDeleteYu are so right--no help from the grown kids--and yes I shall hire movers--Lynda
DeleteSo glad you finally blogged tonight. I was really worried that something had happened.....(I am a worry-wart and imagine all sorts of worse case scenarios).....but you did blog and I am glad you were able to share your upsetting day. It is sad when our kids disappoint us or don't respect us or our perspective on things. Hopefully after everyone "sleeps on it" tomorrow will be a much better day and your kids will understand how you are feeling about all that went on today! Fingers crossed! And sending a great big hug to you!
ReplyDeleteSandra--Thnk yu for that hug--and I sure hope I didnt upset yu--Lynda
DeleteSis, I am glad you explained the issue to me. Everyone else who reads this blog will wonder what the kids did that you should have been consulted about.
ReplyDeleteIt's late, and I am tired. I thought I'd check here once more before bed. I am glad I did!
I love our conversations, here or...ahem...otherwise.
Lucky's new carrier has shipped. He has to play now so he'll let me sleep in peace for a few hours.
It all really will be okay, Lynda. That's my favorite lesson from the Law of Attraction: Everything always works out for me. Sometimes it doesn't seem to at first. There can be a bit of a time delay...but it always works out. {{{HUGS}}} Love, Maggie
Maggie things do work out in the end--- that Law of attraction !--Lynda
DeleteNot knowing particulars, one can still feel the feelings of frustration with not being consulted as we read. Hang in there, Lynda. Glad to be extra "ears" to vent to, without sticking our oars in. You are valued, and clearly loved.
ReplyDeleteOh Barb--Yes it was weird having these grown people not consulting us--making decisions for us--Lynda
DeleteSending hugs. Not knowing the full story, I think your children are probably trying to be helpful, but may be going about it in a way that is hurtful to you. I know from experience that children have their own busy lives, and when they perceive a crisis with their parents they just want decisions made, actions taken, so that they can return to their own lives.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
Yeah--for some reason the children try to think for us--Tey mean well-I know that--Lynda
DeleteOh my dear, I am so relieved to see your post, even if you (sadly) had a terrible, awful day. I don’t know what happened, but . . . I know it is ALWAYS hurtful when adult kids feel like they have to make decisions for you (and Himself) that you are capable of making. *SIGH* I hope that today is a better day.
ReplyDeleteMANY hugs
Barb
1crazydog
Thanks Brb-- I appreciate your kindnerss-=SO much!=-Lynda
DeleteBarb--I didnt mean to worry yu--Lynda
DeleteIt's Kathy. I shut down my computer about 7 pm last night, so I'm sorry I missed this. I was a bit worried about you yesterday! I'm so sorry that you had such a rough day. But you didn't cry!!! YEAH! There are many times when I feel neglected by my adult children but every now and then one of them surprises me. Yesterday I was looking at Instagram and found a post about how special mom's were - and what do you know but my Lauriellen put a heart on it! Telling the world she thinks her mom is special. I do agree that one day your children, and mine, will look back and say "oh, now I understand!" Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI agree Kathy--- Lynda
DeleteHopefully your adult children, after you expressed your thoughts and feelings to them, will remember that you are an adult and as his wife, the primary person to make decisions for your husband. It goes without saying that you make decisions for yourself and your property as well. Please remember that a while back I recommended an attorney consult if need be ... so that you understand your rights in legal decision making matters. (This does not mean legally going after anyone, but will safeguard you from being railroaded by well-meaning but mistaken adult children. Knowledge is power and a means to stay independent.) I had to be pretty firm with one of my siblings when my parents were in their last year or two ... my parents put me in as power-of-attorney years in advance, and that was quite helpful in safeguarding my folks.
ReplyDeleteAlso, someone mentioned, a couple of posts back, having your realtor recommend and possibly facilitate dealing with an auction company. I did something similar when clearing my parents' property after their passing and it made the job so much easier. I paid them a percentagde of the profit from the sale and they did, indeed, haul away everything that did not sell.
I'm sure your children are doing what they think is best out of love, but perhaps they forget, as children often do, that you are an adult capable of making decisions for yourself and your husband. And that is as true now as when you were still potty-training them. As someone else mentioned, they may not fully 'get it' until they are older with grown children.
I'm excited for your upcoming move and I am praying for you.